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How to Redefine Success in Parenthood and Life with Hunter and Dulce Irving

Life rarely works the way we want it.

Parenthood holds an immense responsibility in molding your children. Your ability to nurture either makes or breaks your family. The intrinsic duties of a parent, though, tend to run us over and bury us with overwhelming emotions. Reevaluating and regrouping as an individual and as a family will assist in determining the best plan for you.

In this episode, host Tim Winders turns the microphone over to his daughter and son in law.

Hunter and Dulce recount how they dealt with last year's hardships and how things are going this year. They share updates on their life, starting from Dulce’s motherhood journey to Hunter’s early stages of coaching. Hunter and Dulce discuss how ministry and community help them move forward in their journey. And with counseling, they are able to refocus their priorities toward the future they desire.

Listen to this episode if you find yourself wondering what success truly means.

3 Reasons to Listen:

Find out from Hunter and Dulce’s reflections about counseling and having disciplines as a way of life.
Discover ways you can unlearn and relearn your definition of success.
Learn how having a community helps in reshaping Hunter and Dulce’s life.

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Episode Details

Episode Highlights

[01:11] Dulce’s Motherhood Journey Now Vs. A Year Ago

Hunter and Dulce hit rock bottom in a lot of areas in their life last year.
Dulce describes her 30th birthday as the worst of her life as her mental health took a significant hit.
Unlearning previous mindsets and counseling were necessary for her to redefine her success.
Allowing her husband to be the provider for the family was a major test of her faith.
Despite her circumstance, she is physically and mentally preparing herself to be a mom.

[04:37] Dulce’s 30th Birthday and its Significance

Dulce had a lot of expectations going into her 30th birthday.
It was a symbol of her advancing to the next decade of her life.
Dulce regards that year as noteworthy because of all she accomplished in the previous decade.

[05:37] Having a Serious Conversation Together

Counseling helps them realize their goals moving forward.
One of their goals is to create financial stability for their family.
Having the right mindset helps them prepare for this goal.

[06:27] How the Right Mindset Starts Positive Change

What affects one person in the family affects the whole family.
It is important to perceive yourself as a whole community, before evaluating your individual setbacks.
Dulce remarks how much God has influenced her mental healing.

[07:45] Redefining Success

Hunter notes that Dulce has toned down her energy for certain things and reaps more rewards as a result.
Dulce recalls her father’s story about the real estate crash of 2008 and how her parents responded to this event, which eventually inspired her definition of success.
The overworking culture of her parents contributed to Dulce’s wrong outlook of pursuing and achieving success.
This year, Dulce has been able to seek peace, trust God, and let Him work in her life.

[10:47] Unlearning Things from Dulce’s Childhood

Dulce remarks that people experience layers of paradigms of what they learned from their childhood.
A small or silly habit can become significant over the years. For example, how you wear your hair or the clothes you wear.
She says that everyone goes through a process of learning and relearning to realize how they want their past to operate in their life.
Parents have the responsibility to take care of what they say to children at their moldability.

[12:07] “I think it’s an unlearning and relearning. What does God [actually] say about this? What is it I choose to believe about this? How do I want to operate this in my life?” - Click Here to Tweet This

[13:21] Hunter’s Takeaways from Counseling

Hunter followed suit after Dulce went into counseling after many sessions.
He remarks that having professional guidance helped them make a big step towards active and open dialogues between each other.
He notes that counseling helps anchor Dulce throughout certain difficult times.
Counseling also let him realize his issues as a first-time father and freed him from the concerns he had.
It allowed him to reshape his life and get back into the groove, keep his disciplines, and pursue his endeavors.

[17:25] “I just got to a point of peace and trust that regardless of what ends up happening in our future for our kids or [for] our families, I’m trusting that it will be okay.” - Click Here to Tweet This

[18:18] Hunter’s New Habits and Disciplines

Working out early in the day helps set out his intention. Due to lifestyle changes, Hunter shares he hasn’t been able to commit to his goal.
After going to a men’s retreat, he learned that adding disciplines to his life has kept him grounded.
Hunter shares the importance of intentionally positioning oneself to achieve success.
Journaling in the evening helps him to assess his day and take inventory of his wins and failures.

[19:24] “It’s that idea of conquering something very, very early that sets a really good tone for me to conquer more things throughout the day.” - Click Here To Tweet This

[23:13] No Screens During the Evening Routine

Dulce and Hunter commit to following their no-screens rule during their nighttime routine.
The rule grants them better sleep, which helps them out in many areas of their life.
Their efforts in sticking to this rule include putting their WiFi on a timer and having bluescreen glasses.

[25:06] Recent Changes to their Diet

Dulce’s position as the main chef of the family translates well to their meals and eating habits.
Envisioning and planning his future appearance motivates Hunter’s healthy-eating habit.
Food affects your mental state just as much as your physical state.

[28:11] Hunter’s Disciplines Towards His Work

Hunter’s disciplines play a significant role in handling and holding himself accountable in remote work.
He keeps reminders on his phone to keep him from distracting events.
Working from home requires self-discipline and adaptability.
Having a routine can help manage energy and strategize the entire day of work.

[32:16] Hunter’s Insights as the Main Provider of the Family

Hunter prioritizes his children’s needs; it motivates him to do things for them.
Though his father was the hardest working man and someone he looks up to, he wasn't always present in the family.
While he aims to accumulate generational wealth, he wants to maintain a good level of availability for his family.
His current frameworks help him achieve his goals for his family.

[32:59] “I want to be able to be what my kids need me to be, in any given moment within a realistic sense. I want to be emotionally available to my kids, I want to be providing for them so they have plenty of opportunities. I also want to be providing so we can go and do things and create memories.” - Click Here to Tweet This

[35:20] Future Visions and Goals

Hunter recalls the valuable skills and tools he learned during his job at sales and how he grew professionally.
Seeking stability in his current position at the tech company is one of his long-term goals.
He believes that quitting coaching because of his lack of expertise would be a disservice to himself, his family, and the people he could impact.
Dulce and Hunter initially wanted to be pastors; their plans have changed in recent years.

[39:34] Hunter’s Coaching and Ministry Focus

Hunter wants to help young fathers who have problems with their work, marriage, and children.
There is a rippling effect on being a good father that spans out in generations.

[41:33] Where Dulce and Hunter are Right Now

Their current place in the community was circumstantial, considering that they wanted to leave Colorado Springs.
While they lost friends after having a child, God provides a way for them to make new friends through their church.
Asking guidance from God lines everything up in place for them to make an addition to their family.
Being in a nurturing community gave them a healthy sense of responsibility and direction in their lives.
It is important to define your inner circle with intention; positive change can start from the people you surround yourself with.

[48:03] “We [chose] to show up when it was uncomfortable. We [chose] to have conversations that needed to be had and build deeper relationships. And it’s shown up in some cool ways.” - Click Here to Tweet This

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To growing and becoming all we are created to be,

Tim