Becky Kiser on Balancing Family, Faith, and Female Leadership

Becky Kiser: 00:00:00

Things were going unbelievably well and I felt like it

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was just time for whatever was next, but I didn't know what that was.

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I was like, okay, we're going to shut the door on this ministry and just see.

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And I closed everything down in December and, three months

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later, COVID took over our world.

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And because I had closed things down, I had the capacity to just say to

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God, I have this white space now, Lord, how can I help your people?

Becky Kiser: 00:00:28

How can I help you?

Becky Kiser: 00:00:30

Um, uh,

Tim Winders: 00:00:42

How can we turn our everyday lives from ordinary to

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extraordinary through faith and community today on seek, go create.

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We're thrilled to have Becky Kaiser, a passionate advocate for empowering

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women to embrace their faith.

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and live impactful lives.

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As the founder of Sacred Holidays and author of the new book, But God Can, How

Tim Winders: 00:01:04

to Stop Striving and Live Purposefully and Abundantly, Becky is dedicated

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to helping women find confidence in Christ and fall in love with his word.

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Through her innovative online platforms and speaking engagements around the world,

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Becky offers not just spiritual guidance, Practical tools to deepen one's faith

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and chase after dreams and callings.

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Becky, welcome to seek, go create.

Becky Kiser: 00:01:30

Thank you so much for having me, Tim.

Becky Kiser: 00:01:32

I'm really excited to get to chat with you today.

Tim Winders: 00:01:34

I'm excited about this conversation too, because when I see

Tim Winders: 00:01:37

things like how to stop striving and live purposefully and abundantly,

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I start salivating a little bit.

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Hopefully the people on the video don't see that or

Becky Kiser: 00:01:47

it's like perfectly in line for all that you preach

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and teach about constantly.

Becky Kiser: 00:01:52

Yes.

Tim Winders: 00:01:52

It does it fits so well here, but first question the, I'm used

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to call it an icebreaker, but it's, it's now become like a kind of a joke.

Tim Winders: 00:02:03

But if somebody asks you what you do, do you tell them?

Becky Kiser: 00:02:10

That's like the big general question.

Becky Kiser: 00:02:11

That's wow, what a big question.

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what do I do?

Becky Kiser: 00:02:15

I am an author, which is one of the things that you just shared about.

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I'm an author, speaker, women's events, prisons, and

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all different kinds of things.

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I'm a certified life coach.

Becky Kiser: 00:02:26

Yes.

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And I'm a serial entrepreneur when it comes to ministry things, I love starting

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things and seeing where they go and grow.

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And I am married to my husband, Chris.

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We've been married for 17 years and have three girls.

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So a, what grades are they in now?

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Third, fifth and seventh graders.

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So we are in that tween and teen girl stage where it's lots of

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emotions in our house, ranging from really awesome to really terrible.

Tim Winders: 00:02:57

So that's a great answer.

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But the first thing that popped in my head here I need to know a little

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bit more about Chris, who has Four

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lot, a lot of

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women, females in the house and they're in the teenage years.

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And I'm sure all low maintenance, just easy to get along with low energy.

Tim Winders: 00:03:19

I can tell you're low energy.

Tim Winders: 00:03:21

So tell me just a little bit about Chris before we jump off the

Becky Kiser: 00:03:24

yeah, yeah.

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I mean, typically he walks in from work and we're just sitting in a circle,

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holding hands, singing songs softly.

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Chris, Chris gets patted on the back often in public by strangers

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of men just saying, So sorry.

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And it's one of the things that I love about him is he'll look

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him in the eyes and be like, I'm not, I love having all girls.

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And it is definitely different for sure.

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And there are times that he embraces the girls, putting face mask on him

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and learning all kinds of dance moves.

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He'd never do typically, he's become a 50 because he's had to, But yes, the,

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the emotions are the parts where it's like, he says there are days I walk

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in the house and then just want to slowly back right back to the garage.

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Cause someone's either crying or screaming or two different people

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are feeling two different extremes.

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So yeah, it is, it's an experience.

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We got him a boy dog during COVID because we felt like he needed

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another male in the household.

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So we got him a boy dog.

Tim Winders: 00:04:32

Oh, good.

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Trying to create some balance in the force or something.

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But, and the reason it's intriguing for me is our daughter has blessed

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us with two granddaughters.

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And so I think about our son in law Hunter, who is a girl dad.

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And, and so he's experiencing them.

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They're young, they're four and two, and I'm like going, this is a, this

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is a dynamic that's challenging.

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so related to that, We're, we're early on here.

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I would love for you to answer a question and that is we're, we're

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going to, we're going to go into, but God can, we're going to talk about

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how to stop striving and all of that.

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And I know that your ministry and I get it is primarily focused on women.

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However.

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If, if Joe Guy is still listening here at the three minute mark, why should

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he stick around for this conversation?

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Why should he hang with us?

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I know why I'm, that's why I'm having the conversation, but what do you think?

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Why should he stick around?

Becky Kiser: 00:05:36

love that you're asking that question.

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And I would hope that Joe, whoever would continue listening.

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sometimes we think girls should teach girls and boys should teach

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boys and men can't learn from women.

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And that's like a very, especially prevalent.

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conversation within the church, right?

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That we could do like a whole podcast episode on that alone.

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there's no reason one, because everything I'm sharing, while I

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write specifically for women, why the cover of my book is hot pink.

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All the truths that I share in it are there.

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They're not.

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central to one gender or another.

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Every truth about God is still true for women as it is for men.

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Every encouragement and challenge within the book and that I would

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share as a woman is relevant for men.

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So I'd say number one, you should listen because you should listen

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because it's always good to hear and learn from different voices.

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The other thing that I would say is that me as someone who focuses

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intentionally chooses to focus on women specifically where there's a lot of

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women that focus on male and female.

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I love to speak in one, like the specific language that women speak.

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So every man has females in their lives.

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My husband happens to have a lot.

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So not every man has as many as my husband, but we have mothers, we

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have sisters, we have wives, we have daughters, granddaughters, coworkers.

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And so to learn some of those specific bents where that women struggle in,

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it's so essential that as, as men.

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who are often elevated in, in church culture to be leaders,

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know how to best serve, love, and support the women in their lives.

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So there, this is, you can listen from two different voices of both be

Becky Kiser: 00:07:22

selfish in this, but then also you get to learn how to love others really

Becky Kiser: 00:07:26

well by listening to this conversation.

Tim Winders: 00:07:29

Yeah.

Tim Winders: 00:07:29

And, and I love, I think that's one of the themes or one of the

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takeaways from your new book.

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We'll talk more about that in a moment, but, you have an action steps

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of love God, love self, love others.

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And to, to me, one of the challenges with our modern cultures, most

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of us, and I'll point to myself, we're wrapped up in ourselves.

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And the way we show loving others is to do that.

Tim Winders: 00:07:57

I, I gotta tell you something funny though.

Tim Winders: 00:07:58

You brought up the hot pink.

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All right.

Tim Winders: 00:08:01

If you're listening on audio, I'm going to paint a picture for you.

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Tim is sitting here with a white and gray background in the RV, wearing

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the shirt color that I wear all the time, which is a black t shirt.

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And that's Tim.

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Tim, that's people that know me know.

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Okay.

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In fact, this morning I mentioned to my wife, Oh no, we've got an emergency.

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I'm almost out of black t shirts.

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I do the laundry in the house.

Tim Winders: 00:08:29

So that means that's my cue to do the laundry.

Becky Kiser: 00:08:32

Yes.

Tim Winders: 00:08:33

Becky is sitting here with a leopard print.

Tim Winders: 00:08:38

on and I don't think that's lime green, but it's not a muted green shirt And and

Tim Winders: 00:08:45

I I do see in the background some hot pink in two different places And and I

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want to tell you last night I was I was pulling up your some information and and

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and going through some things with your book and Having a lot of fun with it.

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And when I pulled up the one pager for those that don't know one

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pager is just Information that we get on people that are guests.

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I opened it up You My wife was sitting across from me doing something else

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on her laptop and I went, ah, I literally almost yelled out loud

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and I turned my laptop around.

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I said, look at all of this color on this one sheet because mine is

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muted gray and black and white.

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need to celebrate our differences, right?

Becky Kiser: 00:09:29

Yes.

Becky Kiser: 00:09:30

And Tim, let me just say, you are, you're not the first interview that

Becky Kiser: 00:09:33

I've done with a male on the, as I've been like working on book tour stuff.

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And it has so impressed me that you're willing to have, especially

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even knowing that you're a male who is muted gray tones.

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And my, which my husband appreciates.

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He's black and white is the way he lives, both in how he processes

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and what his preferences are.

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And I'm like every shade in between the whole rainbow.

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I love that you're willing to say we all have something to learn.

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And, it made me excited when I was like, another guy is signing up for this.

Becky Kiser: 00:10:07

I think this is amazing.

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And I'm sure it,

Becky Kiser: 00:10:10

was also shocking and you maybe needed to put sunglasses on and that's fine.

Tim Winders: 00:10:14

I, yeah, there was a lot of color on that one page or more color

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than I may have seen in the last few.

Tim Winders: 00:10:19

Now, the, the cool thing about it, and I think this just goes to the,

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the value of learning and listening.

Tim Winders: 00:10:28

When my wife and I got married, we're 35 years in now.

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So this has been a long time, but I still remember it.

Tim Winders: 00:10:32

This is why it's important.

Tim Winders: 00:10:35

Our first house, I said, off white eggshell walls, that's best

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for resale, blah, blah, blah.

Tim Winders: 00:10:41

And she was kind of sort of, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tim Winders: 00:10:44

I mean, it was early on, next house, just a few years later,

Tim Winders: 00:10:47

she goes this wall right here, two story wall, right behind the sofa.

Tim Winders: 00:10:51

That is an accent wall.

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We are going to paint that.

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And at first, when the color started going on, I thought it was fire engine red.

Tim Winders: 00:11:02

As it dried, this was the nineties.

Tim Winders: 00:11:04

So it was popular then it became more of a deeper Burgundy, but I,

Tim Winders: 00:11:09

Becky, I hated it when I first saw

Becky Kiser: 00:11:12

I

Tim Winders: 00:11:13

but you know what, though, over time, I begin to go, I

Tim Winders: 00:11:18

understand why we need an accent wall.

Tim Winders: 00:11:23

And I've told her, I appreciate you bringing color in, into my life.

Tim Winders: 00:11:32

Now

Becky Kiser: 00:11:32

I love it.

Tim Winders: 00:11:33

that's a little bit of a light touch.

Tim Winders: 00:11:36

to my bigger question.

Tim Winders: 00:11:38

That's going to be a deep into the pool type question here.

Becky Kiser: 00:11:41

Okay.

Tim Winders: 00:11:43

What is it about culture that creates so much pressure on

Tim Winders: 00:11:51

us to not accept the accent walls?

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That people want to throw at us.

Tim Winders: 00:11:57

And I could tell you, I did not have that written down.

Tim Winders: 00:12:00

So we'll, we'll assume the Holy spirit's working here with the,

Tim Winders: 00:12:02

with the accent walls and the color.

Tim Winders: 00:12:05

Why is it?

Tim Winders: 00:12:06

Because I also think that that leads to the pressure that we're going to talk

Tim Winders: 00:12:09

about that culture puts on women and men.

Tim Winders: 00:12:14

I mentioned earlier, we've got, we've got a really cool couple of episodes

Tim Winders: 00:12:17

here that look at the dichotomies, but, what's going on with all the pressure

Tim Winders: 00:12:22

that's coming down on specifically.

Tim Winders: 00:12:25

Women today.

Becky Kiser: 00:12:27

Yeah.

Becky Kiser: 00:12:28

I, I would say that first the pressure, at least in how I interpret

Becky Kiser: 00:12:33

your question with the accent wall, I think there's a lot of pressure.

Becky Kiser: 00:12:37

Christian culture and world culture are a little bit different when

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it comes to us as women, And men.

Becky Kiser: 00:12:42

But there's a lot of pressure within the church for us as women

Becky Kiser: 00:12:46

to be certain things, right?

Becky Kiser: 00:12:47

To be quiet and submissive, to, be wives and mothers, to want to serve and host and

Becky Kiser: 00:12:55

cook and wear aprons and all the things.

Becky Kiser: 00:12:58

And for men, I would say on the reverse, there's this expectation

Becky Kiser: 00:13:03

that you're strong and a leader and boisterous and brave.

Becky Kiser: 00:13:07

All these other things.

Becky Kiser: 00:13:08

So I'm sure you get to the man's side in, in the other

Becky Kiser: 00:13:12

conversation you had referenced.

Becky Kiser: 00:13:14

So I would say for women, the accent while pressure for us is

Becky Kiser: 00:13:18

that we, we feel this pressure to be a certain way within the culture.

Becky Kiser: 00:13:23

And then in the world, we're told now women have power, so go in.

Becky Kiser: 00:13:30

You, you do you boo is what like people are saying, and you can

Becky Kiser: 00:13:33

do absolutely everything and you could be anything you want.

Becky Kiser: 00:13:38

You want to be president, go for it.

Becky Kiser: 00:13:40

You want to change the world, you can do that.

Becky Kiser: 00:13:43

And all this pressure for women.

Becky Kiser: 00:13:45

We have these two very large voices sitting on our shoulders of you

Becky Kiser: 00:13:50

can be anything and do anything.

Becky Kiser: 00:13:54

Which isn't possible.

Becky Kiser: 00:13:56

And also you need to only be this and only look like this,

Becky Kiser: 00:14:01

which is impossible either.

Becky Kiser: 00:14:03

And so that leads to this like turmoil that we all experienced,

Becky Kiser: 00:14:07

which leads to facades going up of who actually am I, what am I here to do?

Becky Kiser: 00:14:13

I have this drive to do this, but church says to do this, or I have this desire to

Becky Kiser: 00:14:18

be this, but the world says that's wrong.

Becky Kiser: 00:14:21

So for women specifically, that's the pressure we're constantly feeling is I

Becky Kiser: 00:14:27

don't know where I belong in any desire that wells up within me feels wrong and

Becky Kiser: 00:14:32

out of place somewhere and not accepted.

Tim Winders: 00:14:36

Yeah.

Tim Winders: 00:14:36

And I think one of the things that's tough, this, and this is both men and

Tim Winders: 00:14:41

women is the, I don't even know if the comparison even fits in to it.

Tim Winders: 00:14:48

I mean, I, I jumped over last night and looked at your Instagram and Instagram is

Tim Winders: 00:14:54

like one of the best places in the world.

Tim Winders: 00:14:58

And one of the worst places in the world to go.

Tim Winders: 00:15:02

And yeah, and, and, and listen, we, we, I guess try to be authentic and some

Tim Winders: 00:15:09

people maybe are a little too authentic and, but it seems to me that that is a

Tim Winders: 00:15:16

little bit more of a challenge for women.

Tim Winders: 00:15:21

I don't know, is that even a fair statement to make the whole

Becky Kiser: 00:15:24

100 percent of your statement.

Becky Kiser: 00:15:25

Yeah.

Becky Kiser: 00:15:26

And maybe in the same way, like not too many men are super active

Becky Kiser: 00:15:30

on Instagram, but I would say at least for my husband, like LinkedIn

Becky Kiser: 00:15:36

is a more popular place to go.

Becky Kiser: 00:15:38

And so you can see how many connections do they have?

Becky Kiser: 00:15:42

How many job offers have they gotten that week?

Becky Kiser: 00:15:44

How many people have affirmed them in something?

Becky Kiser: 00:15:48

Are you posting this and getting this many views on it?

Becky Kiser: 00:15:51

How, what are your job listings?

Becky Kiser: 00:15:53

and in the same way for women, we go to Instagram or Facebook and, and

Becky Kiser: 00:15:58

then for younger girls, it's just, there's like 25, 000 places they're on.

Becky Kiser: 00:16:02

And, and it's visual.

Becky Kiser: 00:16:04

So you see like for men, it's more factual, right?

Becky Kiser: 00:16:09

there's not too much you can fabricate on LinkedIn now.

Becky Kiser: 00:16:13

You can still pose for sure.

Becky Kiser: 00:16:15

and there's a lot of people who do fabricate it, but for Instagram,

Becky Kiser: 00:16:19

you can post a actually filtered picture of yourself smiling.

Becky Kiser: 00:16:25

But behind the scenes, your marriage is struggling.

Becky Kiser: 00:16:28

Your house is a wreck.

Becky Kiser: 00:16:29

Your kids are just on media all day long.

Becky Kiser: 00:16:33

But then what I would see as a woman is she's got it all together and I don't.

Becky Kiser: 00:16:38

And so it is this, the comparison for sure is something that makes

Becky Kiser: 00:16:42

us, it's another thing on us that makes us feel like I'm not enough.

Becky Kiser: 00:16:47

I don't have it together.

Becky Kiser: 00:16:48

I'll never be as good as her.

Becky Kiser: 00:16:50

I'll never.

Becky Kiser: 00:16:51

Regardless of what field you're in, I'm an author speaker, but lawyers,

Becky Kiser: 00:16:55

doctors, teachers, all that, you're seeing other people be more successful

Becky Kiser: 00:16:59

than you, but you're really just seeing a slice of their life.

Becky Kiser: 00:17:03

And it may or may not even be real.

Becky Kiser: 00:17:06

Which is tricky.

Tim Winders: 00:17:07

It is.

Tim Winders: 00:17:08

And our, our daughter, she shared with us that she's removed Instagram from

Tim Winders: 00:17:13

her phone and she brought it back on.

Tim Winders: 00:17:17

She said for all of two hours and then said, you know what?

Tim Winders: 00:17:20

Not good.

Tim Winders: 00:17:22

All right, Becky, here's a, this is probably going to be a tough question

Becky Kiser: 00:17:28

Okay.

Tim Winders: 00:17:29

because I, I wrestle with this myself and I'm going to, I'm going to

Tim Winders: 00:17:33

lead up to it so you could your palms can get a little bit sweaty thinking about it.

Tim Winders: 00:17:38

Part of the challenge with that.

Tim Winders: 00:17:42

Is people that come on to these platforms and we're doing podcasts,

Tim Winders: 00:17:50

we're writing books, we're, doing studies and all of that kind of stuff.

Tim Winders: 00:17:57

And so I want to present the irony that one of the things I do when I work

Tim Winders: 00:18:03

with executives and leaders is I try to tell them to be more peaceful at rest,

Tim Winders: 00:18:07

create more white space in their lives.

Tim Winders: 00:18:10

yet when they look at me.

Tim Winders: 00:18:13

They don't, you don't see the full picture, but they go, you're writing

Tim Winders: 00:18:17

books, you're doing podcasts, you got YouTube and all that.

Tim Winders: 00:18:19

I could see that women could look at you and possibly be intimidated.

Tim Winders: 00:18:26

I mean, you got a lot of stuff going on.

Tim Winders: 00:18:28

Awesome stuff.

Tim Winders: 00:18:30

Awesome stuff.

Tim Winders: 00:18:30

So I told you, it's a tough question.

Tim Winders: 00:18:32

How would you respond if someone says, but Becky, I can't be like you look

Tim Winders: 00:18:38

at all this stuff you've got going on.

Tim Winders: 00:18:40

And I hate to throw the word imperfection, but just.

Tim Winders: 00:18:44

All right, how about that?

Tim Winders: 00:18:45

Was that a that's a tough question, isn't it?

Becky Kiser: 00:18:47

It's a fair question.

Becky Kiser: 00:18:48

And it's one that I'm sure people go to my page and sense, and they're for

Becky Kiser: 00:18:54

sure pages I go to and have the exact same feeling I would say it's one of

Becky Kiser: 00:18:59

the reasons I try as often as I can to.

Becky Kiser: 00:19:03

disarm people by sharing the imperfections of my life.

Becky Kiser: 00:19:06

It's one of the reasons I try to do lives or podcast interviews without

Becky Kiser: 00:19:10

makeup on with a hat on instead of my hair fix, because that's

Becky Kiser: 00:19:14

real and I don't look glamorous.

Becky Kiser: 00:19:18

Like my headshot would look every day.

Becky Kiser: 00:19:20

Most of the time I'm in athletic clothes.

Becky Kiser: 00:19:23

And Yeah, if somebody were to say that to me, I would say back to

Becky Kiser: 00:19:26

them, you're absolutely right.

Becky Kiser: 00:19:28

And the truth is it's a, it's both a maturity response

Becky Kiser: 00:19:31

when we go onto social media.

Becky Kiser: 00:19:33

And this is something I say to my kids, my kids, friends, my

Becky Kiser: 00:19:37

friends, myself is we all show.

Becky Kiser: 00:19:41

the public persona on our socials, right?

Becky Kiser: 00:19:44

And that's myself included.

Becky Kiser: 00:19:45

Even though I try to be as intentional as I can to show as

Becky Kiser: 00:19:50

much unfiltered parts, social media, isn't where I'm going to go first.

Becky Kiser: 00:19:55

If a doctor gives me a diagnosis, right?

Becky Kiser: 00:19:58

I'm going to process that privately.

Becky Kiser: 00:19:59

I'm going to process that with my community.

Becky Kiser: 00:20:02

When Chris and I are struggling in our marriage, I'm That's not

Becky Kiser: 00:20:05

where I'm going to post because it's not people's business.

Becky Kiser: 00:20:09

And, and so that's where it's we have to have the maturity to say, I'm seeing

Becky Kiser: 00:20:14

one portion of everybody's life because now there are people that you referenced

Becky Kiser: 00:20:18

it to the overshare on social media, and that's a different conversation.

Becky Kiser: 00:20:23

And those people just, they, they need help.

Becky Kiser: 00:20:26

But for the rest of us, I think a mature response is share, share as

Becky Kiser: 00:20:30

vulnerably and authentically as you can.

Becky Kiser: 00:20:32

But there are things that just belong in a living room and belong around a

Becky Kiser: 00:20:36

table and don't belong on social media.

Becky Kiser: 00:20:39

So I can reference on social and my email list.

Becky Kiser: 00:20:43

I can reference to them, Hey, Chris and I've had a really hard year and

Becky Kiser: 00:20:47

here's what we're doing to help, but I'm not posting every day, man, we

Becky Kiser: 00:20:51

had another fight again, or whatever.

Becky Kiser: 00:20:54

Because it's not social media's business.

Becky Kiser: 00:20:56

That's not better for my marriage.

Becky Kiser: 00:20:58

What's better for my marriage is we're working through counseling

Becky Kiser: 00:21:01

and we're fighting for each other and now we're in a good season.

Becky Kiser: 00:21:05

but that, does that make sense to answer your question of

Tim Winders: 00:21:08

it does.

Tim Winders: 00:21:09

And, and I want to affirm that I went and listened to Hearers

Tim Winders: 00:21:16

and Doers, your podcast.

Tim Winders: 00:21:17

I went and listened to a few episodes.

Tim Winders: 00:21:18

The first one I listened to, and maybe this gives you a little bit about me,

Tim Winders: 00:21:22

I'm looking for more of your story.

Tim Winders: 00:21:25

I want to find out more about that.

Tim Winders: 00:21:26

Becky, if I'm about to have a one hour conversation and the first one I went

Tim Winders: 00:21:30

to, and I'm also looking at, how we do in podcasts, we say, okay, there's a

Tim Winders: 00:21:35

episode released every week and then something happened and then what's, and

Tim Winders: 00:21:38

I went to the one where you had just.

Tim Winders: 00:21:41

Had tonsils out.

Tim Winders: 00:21:43

Does that right?

Becky Kiser: 00:21:45

Yeah.

Tim Winders: 00:21:45

and you basically with a little bit of a raspy voice

Tim Winders: 00:21:48

too, by the way, said, we're going to take a break and we're not

Tim Winders: 00:21:53

going to do anything for a while.

Tim Winders: 00:21:54

And to me, that is the opposite of someone who's attempting to power through and

Tim Winders: 00:22:01

do it just for the likes and dislikes.

Tim Winders: 00:22:03

And so I see that.

Tim Winders: 00:22:06

but it, but it still does occur with people that they look at our best.

Tim Winders: 00:22:10

And truthfully, I, I'm getting to where I really loathe the hashtag hot mess.

Tim Winders: 00:22:16

Oh, I'm a hot mess.

Tim Winders: 00:22:18

Because what happens is those, this is what I've observed with people.

Tim Winders: 00:22:22

We have this Pavlovian response where it's like, Oh my gosh, I got more likes on the

Tim Winders: 00:22:28

hot mess post than I did on the, whatever post I need to do more hot mess posts.

Tim Winders: 00:22:33

And then it becomes their life.

Tim Winders: 00:22:35

Anyway, we don't, let's, let's don't go down that road.

Tim Winders: 00:22:40

Tell me a little bit.

Tim Winders: 00:22:42

I'm, I'm always interested, not in likes, Full spiritual story, but,

Tim Winders: 00:22:48

were you, did you come out of the womb being a Jesus follower or was there a

Tim Winders: 00:22:52

little bit of a journey along the way?

Tim Winders: 00:22:54

What do you want to share about that?

Becky Kiser: 00:22:57

Great question.

Becky Kiser: 00:22:58

Definitely did not come out of the womb being a Jesus follower.

Becky Kiser: 00:23:01

That is for sure.

Becky Kiser: 00:23:03

My parents

Tim Winders: 00:23:03

And that, and that's bad, that's bad theology, by the way.

Tim Winders: 00:23:06

I just want to mention to everyone that's bad

Becky Kiser: 00:23:08

Yes, we, we can, we all hear the laughter hopefully and know

Becky Kiser: 00:23:12

that that's not possible for anyone.

Becky Kiser: 00:23:14

but it was for sure not possible for me.

Becky Kiser: 00:23:16

My parents divorced when I was an infant and they had joint custody,

Becky Kiser: 00:23:21

like as joint as they come Monday, Tuesday, mom, Wednesday, Thursday,

Becky Kiser: 00:23:25

dad, first, third weekend mom.

Becky Kiser: 00:23:27

So that was my, I had a very split upbringing.

Becky Kiser: 00:23:30

My mom is, I don't know, she wouldn't consider herself an atheist.

Becky Kiser: 00:23:36

She believes in mother earth.

Becky Kiser: 00:23:38

So she is a spiritual person, but, so like creation is her God.

Becky Kiser: 00:23:44

And when it's a full moon, we would have to go on the back

Becky Kiser: 00:23:46

porch and howl at the moon.

Becky Kiser: 00:23:48

And so just a very.

Becky Kiser: 00:23:50

Different upbringing that wouldn't be at all Jesus centered in her house.

Becky Kiser: 00:23:54

And then when we were with my dad and stepmom at his house on those weekends.

Becky Kiser: 00:23:59

We grew up Methodist, which is a little bit more liturgical of a denomination.

Becky Kiser: 00:24:03

so very involved at church at my dad's house, but it was, more reserved

Becky Kiser: 00:24:08

around church events than maybe a personal relationship with Jesus.

Becky Kiser: 00:24:13

And, that all changed in high school.

Becky Kiser: 00:24:15

I have a brother who's two years older than me.

Becky Kiser: 00:24:17

His name's Neil Smith, and he's always been my best friend.

Becky Kiser: 00:24:21

And he became a Christian because a youth intern reached out to him, so

Becky Kiser: 00:24:24

that We had been going through a ton of stuff in our family and reached

Becky Kiser: 00:24:28

out and shared the gospel with him.

Becky Kiser: 00:24:31

And my brother became a Christian and for this, this was just before his

Becky Kiser: 00:24:36

senior year, and he was like, I can't leave Becky and not knowing what's true.

Becky Kiser: 00:24:42

And to him for a year, he was Jesus to me.

Becky Kiser: 00:24:45

He loved me when I did.

Becky Kiser: 00:24:47

The most horrible life choices, not things to him and didn't judge me as I had felt

Becky Kiser: 00:24:53

judged by so many Christians around me.

Becky Kiser: 00:24:55

And so I became a Christian at 16.

Becky Kiser: 00:24:58

That's when things really changed for me.

Becky Kiser: 00:25:02

and it was all new because I was not raised in a Christian home.

Becky Kiser: 00:25:05

I didn't know any of those things.

Becky Kiser: 00:25:06

And, and that's where my relationship with God really took off.

Becky Kiser: 00:25:09

And it felt very much like a saddle Paul moment for me of, I felt saved

Becky Kiser: 00:25:15

by God, I felt rescued by God.

Becky Kiser: 00:25:18

And I was just blown away by him and his word, completely captivated by

Becky Kiser: 00:25:22

his word and the truth within it.

Becky Kiser: 00:25:24

And I ended up going to Texas A& M University for college.

Becky Kiser: 00:25:28

And there's such a strong Christian community base there.

Becky Kiser: 00:25:31

At least there was when I was there.

Becky Kiser: 00:25:32

And, It was a strong time of discipleship.

Becky Kiser: 00:25:35

And that's when I knew really felt confirmed that God wanted to

Becky Kiser: 00:25:39

use me in some capacity ministry.

Becky Kiser: 00:25:42

I just didn't know what that looked like.

Becky Kiser: 00:25:44

and so it was just like a rollercoaster of ups and downs.

Becky Kiser: 00:25:46

I ended up going into public relations and adapt and leaving

Becky Kiser: 00:25:49

that to go work at a church.

Becky Kiser: 00:25:51

And that led to more teaching and writing.

Becky Kiser: 00:25:54

And here I am today.

Becky Kiser: 00:25:56

So the journey of following God was not something that was innate at birth.

Becky Kiser: 00:26:00

It was a journey of trusting him and him being my safest place.

Tim Winders: 00:26:05

And I saw somewhere that not too long before that 16

Tim Winders: 00:26:11

year old, where you, where you met Jesus, that you, you had a little

Tim Winders: 00:26:16

prison situation, a rap sheet here.

Tim Winders: 00:26:19

So let's, let's get both sides of the story.

Tim Winders: 00:26:21

So you gotta, you gotta tell just a brief,

Becky Kiser: 00:26:23

I mean, I did say that I

Becky Kiser: 00:26:25

didn't leave a very

Tim Winders: 00:26:26

you're, so you're tough.

Tim Winders: 00:26:27

It's tough, Becky.

Tim Winders: 00:26:28

It's like prison, Becky.

Tim Winders: 00:26:29

Yeah.

Becky Kiser: 00:26:30

I may have a hopping book, but I've been incarcerated.

Becky Kiser: 00:26:33

not, I, Yes, my brother and I, we've always been close in, in our pre Jesus

Becky Kiser: 00:26:39

days, we, teamed up in shoplifting and eventually got busted for that.

Becky Kiser: 00:26:45

And so that was a good wake up moment for both of us in many ways,

Becky Kiser: 00:26:50

not a spiritual wake up, but a.

Becky Kiser: 00:26:52

Stop hiding and covering in these areas.

Becky Kiser: 00:26:55

And, yeah, so that's, it's everybody.

Becky Kiser: 00:26:57

My brother does a lot of ministry work too.

Becky Kiser: 00:26:59

So it's everybody's favorite fun fact of, did you know Nils and

Becky Kiser: 00:27:03

Becky had been arrested before?

Becky Kiser: 00:27:05

yeah,

Tim Winders: 00:27:06

So what I hear when I hear that is I hear entrepreneur.

Becky Kiser: 00:27:10

yeah.

Becky Kiser: 00:27:12

We've always started things together and now they're legal

Becky Kiser: 00:27:15

things, which is progress, right?

Becky Kiser: 00:27:17

Progress.

Tim Winders: 00:27:18

Yeah.

Tim Winders: 00:27:19

So that's good.

Tim Winders: 00:27:20

so it, it sounds as if you've always had an, I hate to mention something

Tim Winders: 00:27:25

that your mother may have said, but an energy to excel and succeed and

Tim Winders: 00:27:31

to, that when you stepped into things, you would move into a leadership.

Tim Winders: 00:27:37

Type position, or at least a, or you're going to lead and do things.

Tim Winders: 00:27:41

Is that, is that correct assessment?

Becky Kiser: 00:27:44

Totally fair.

Becky Kiser: 00:27:44

Totally fair to say.

Tim Winders: 00:27:46

Yeah.

Tim Winders: 00:27:46

And is that been a drive that you've had all along?

Tim Winders: 00:27:50

Or is it something I'll ask it this way.

Tim Winders: 00:27:54

Is it something that you're trying to prove or I'll use a word that's in your

Tim Winders: 00:27:59

new book, strive for to gain acceptance because I, and I'll bring this up

Tim Winders: 00:28:04

and then I'll let you respond to it.

Tim Winders: 00:28:06

My wife.

Tim Winders: 00:28:08

Came from what we would call a broken home her parents And she has identified

Tim Winders: 00:28:15

That she has a performance mindset that is related to And and I don't

Tim Winders: 00:28:22

think this is just a female thing, but

Becky Kiser: 00:28:25

Mm hmm.

Tim Winders: 00:28:25

She believes if she achieves and accomplishes enough Then the people

Tim Winders: 00:28:30

around her and even god at times will be happy and things will be okay so You

Becky Kiser: 00:28:38

I would say for me, that's not the case.

Becky Kiser: 00:28:40

My husband actually is very much that way.

Becky Kiser: 00:28:44

for me, I, I think maybe it's more of a like hard knock life.

Becky Kiser: 00:28:49

You, you just have to do it right.

Becky Kiser: 00:28:51

Like you make it happen.

Becky Kiser: 00:28:54

and No.

Becky Kiser: 00:28:54

Yeah.

Becky Kiser: 00:28:55

What actually feels very, I don't know if aversive is the right word, but the

Becky Kiser: 00:29:00

achievement in the process of having things more public as opposed to a

Becky Kiser: 00:29:06

prep, like private ministry or just serving the people within my community,

Becky Kiser: 00:29:10

the aversion I have is I don't want it to be construed as achieving.

Becky Kiser: 00:29:15

Which is I think a difference for men and women and many capacities of

Becky Kiser: 00:29:19

there is this, I don't want to come across like I'm trying to be something

Becky Kiser: 00:29:24

and that it's not the bent for it.

Becky Kiser: 00:29:26

For me, it's, I really want to see women freed.

Becky Kiser: 00:29:30

And right now I see so many women shackled.

Becky Kiser: 00:29:34

And so do I want to have books that are bestsellers?

Becky Kiser: 00:29:38

Do I want to be able to reach Thousands of millions of people on podcast and social.

Becky Kiser: 00:29:44

for sure I do, because each number represents a life that could be changed,

Becky Kiser: 00:29:49

but I wouldn't say that the achievement, I have other events for sure, but I

Becky Kiser: 00:29:54

wouldn't say the achievement is a personal goal for me other than the fact that it

Becky Kiser: 00:29:59

means we made a significant impact here.

Tim Winders: 00:30:03

And one of the words that's in your book

Tim Winders: 00:30:07

title is this word purposeful.

Tim Winders: 00:30:10

And I, I think it's a word that it's really become integrated

Tim Winders: 00:30:17

into our modern culture.

Tim Winders: 00:30:21

And I actually think it's causing a lot of good.

Tim Winders: 00:30:26

And a lot of challenges because a lot of people are, I need to find my purpose.

Tim Winders: 00:30:31

I need to find my purpose.

Tim Winders: 00:30:33

Whereas I'm, I'm of the age.

Tim Winders: 00:30:35

I remember talking to my grandfather and if I were to ask him what his

Tim Winders: 00:30:40

purpose in life was, he would look at me like, what are you talking about?

Tim Winders: 00:30:46

I get up every day.

Tim Winders: 00:30:47

I go to work, I come home, I make enough money to, put

Tim Winders: 00:30:50

biscuits and gravy on the table.

Tim Winders: 00:30:52

And it is a little bit of our modern day reality.

Tim Winders: 00:30:56

But the, the, the question I've got related to this, and this is probably

Tim Winders: 00:30:59

a deeper question that could, I don't think we're going to go into a tailspin,

Tim Winders: 00:31:03

but I think you brought it up earlier.

Tim Winders: 00:31:07

You said there's the way the world looks at things and in their church world,

Becky Kiser: 00:31:12

Yeah.

Tim Winders: 00:31:13

what is the church world doing to cause this

Tim Winders: 00:31:21

issue that we're talking about?

Tim Winders: 00:31:23

And let me just throw a few things out and then you could

Tim Winders: 00:31:26

just pick whatever you want.

Tim Winders: 00:31:28

We've got the whole, I won't even go into this because I'm not agreeing

Tim Winders: 00:31:33

with, the world's coming to an end and, and we need to do everything we can.

Tim Winders: 00:31:37

Don't get me started on in time stuff.

Tim Winders: 00:31:39

Please don't get me started.

Tim Winders: 00:31:41

So please don't go down that road.

Tim Winders: 00:31:44

and then we've also got this, you need to make an impact.

Tim Winders: 00:31:46

You've been saved and you need to make an impact.

Tim Winders: 00:31:48

And then we've also got this, but you're a woman, you, you've got a role within

Tim Winders: 00:31:54

what we call the Orthodox or traditional church and you, you can do certain

Tim Winders: 00:32:00

things, but you can't do certain things.

Tim Winders: 00:32:05

And so have I, have I given you enough hot buttons where you

Tim Winders: 00:32:08

could take this and run with it?

Becky Kiser: 00:32:10

sure.

Becky Kiser: 00:32:11

The, the whole purpose, I would say this is likely for men and women that

Becky Kiser: 00:32:17

our culture and you're right, where like the generations before us wouldn't

Becky Kiser: 00:32:21

have felt the same pressure of purpose because you just did your thing, right?

Becky Kiser: 00:32:25

You weren't as concerned and I would think media has done a lot

Becky Kiser: 00:32:29

to expose us to those things.

Becky Kiser: 00:32:31

And so that's where there's this unattainable, the great purpose, right?

Becky Kiser: 00:32:36

That that we're never going to fully reach.

Becky Kiser: 00:32:39

And I do talk about it in the book that.

Becky Kiser: 00:32:42

It's not like the destination, Oh, now I know my purpose and now I've

Becky Kiser: 00:32:46

reached my purpose and that's it.

Becky Kiser: 00:32:49

You've won the game of life.

Becky Kiser: 00:32:51

It's not, it's not like that.

Becky Kiser: 00:32:52

Purpose is your purpose is ever evolving.

Becky Kiser: 00:32:56

It's shifting, it's changing.

Becky Kiser: 00:32:58

It's the purpose is the journey with God.

Becky Kiser: 00:33:00

And Like you, and we see that all throughout scripture, David,

Becky Kiser: 00:33:04

I'm actually reading through the life of David right now.

Becky Kiser: 00:33:07

And David was told when he was very young, your purpose is you're going to, you're

Becky Kiser: 00:33:12

anointed to be the next king of Israel.

Becky Kiser: 00:33:15

But he still then was a small little warrior who then had

Becky Kiser: 00:33:20

the courage to fight Goliath.

Becky Kiser: 00:33:21

But then it was decades of him hiding and fighting and hiding and

Becky Kiser: 00:33:27

fighting and hiding and fighting.

Becky Kiser: 00:33:28

And if you were to look at his.

Becky Kiser: 00:33:30

Life journey, it would be, you would say he hadn't lived his purpose because

Becky Kiser: 00:33:36

his purpose was to be king, a man after God's own heart, but the, he

Becky Kiser: 00:33:40

showed himself as a man after God's own heart through the hiding and the

Becky Kiser: 00:33:43

fighting and the hiding and the fighting before he ever lived in a palace.

Becky Kiser: 00:33:48

so that would be my, my response to the whole greater purpose.

Becky Kiser: 00:33:52

For women specifically when it comes to our place in the church, it, it's

Becky Kiser: 00:33:58

complicated because of the pressure that's put within us to be a certain way.

Becky Kiser: 00:34:04

And I would say the greatest purpose the church tells us as women is

Becky Kiser: 00:34:08

your greatest purpose is that as mom and wife and you have no greater

Becky Kiser: 00:34:12

calling than out of your family.

Becky Kiser: 00:34:15

And Tim, this is where maybe we would, we'll get into debate, we'll see

Becky Kiser: 00:34:18

where we, where we both land on this.

Becky Kiser: 00:34:20

and for sure where people.

Becky Kiser: 00:34:22

Listening may, may have more questions or, discussion items and DMS and comments.

Becky Kiser: 00:34:27

But I just don't see that in scripture anywhere.

Becky Kiser: 00:34:32

I don't see that scripture says, woman, your greatest calling and purpose

Becky Kiser: 00:34:37

in life is to be a wife and a mom.

Becky Kiser: 00:34:38

Because what about all those people who aren't married?

Becky Kiser: 00:34:41

What about all those people who can't have children or don't have children?

Becky Kiser: 00:34:45

Our greatest, my greatest purpose.

Becky Kiser: 00:34:47

I have three girls who I love with everything.

Becky Kiser: 00:34:49

Like I would literally kill for them.

Becky Kiser: 00:34:53

Probably not.

Becky Kiser: 00:34:53

Maybe we don't post that part, but like I, I would give anything for them.

Becky Kiser: 00:34:58

And same for Chris.

Becky Kiser: 00:35:00

However, they are not my greatest calling.

Becky Kiser: 00:35:03

And it's very important for me that they see that they're not, they are

Becky Kiser: 00:35:07

so intrinsically important to me, but they are not my greatest calling.

Becky Kiser: 00:35:12

My greatest calling is to God.

Becky Kiser: 00:35:14

And so when I have that purpose, my purpose is to love God,

Becky Kiser: 00:35:19

to know God, to follow God.

Becky Kiser: 00:35:21

That means that I can say, you know what girls, this is a really

Becky Kiser: 00:35:25

busy season for me right now.

Becky Kiser: 00:35:27

So for the next couple of weeks, I can't be there to tuck you in at night.

Becky Kiser: 00:35:30

Or my oldest, I was selected to go chaperone her field trip, but it's

Becky Kiser: 00:35:35

the same day my boat comes out.

Becky Kiser: 00:35:36

And I can say, I know I've never missed a field trip, but this year I have to,

Becky Kiser: 00:35:42

because sometimes my greatest purpose of that day isn't to be their mom.

Becky Kiser: 00:35:48

It's I have women that I need to speak to.

Becky Kiser: 00:35:51

does that answer your question a little bit when it comes to purpose?

Becky Kiser: 00:35:54

Are we

Becky Kiser: 00:35:54

still friends, Tim?

Tim Winders: 00:35:55

It no, no, it does.

Tim Winders: 00:35:57

I'm going to twist it a little bit here because we've got a few minutes.

Tim Winders: 00:36:01

I'm going to twist.

Tim Winders: 00:36:03

I am coming to believe that we have taken the family values roles in the house.

Tim Winders: 00:36:13

People can do this.

Tim Winders: 00:36:15

People can't do this way out of context from the, what we'll call first

Tim Winders: 00:36:19

century Authors that wrote, in the, in the period that they were writing

Tim Winders: 00:36:25

and we've attempted to adopt them.

Tim Winders: 00:36:28

I actually will tell somebody, listen, be careful going down the

Tim Winders: 00:36:32

biblical family values route because you brought up David earlier.

Tim Winders: 00:36:39

I don't think anyone wants to really use the model of David for family values.

Tim Winders: 00:36:46

And, and things like that.

Tim Winders: 00:36:50

I don't want to get off on that, but

Becky Kiser: 00:36:51

Right.

Tim Winders: 00:36:52

so I, I do want to, I do want to point blank, ask this question.

Tim Winders: 00:36:58

Is it okay for women to be in ministry roles?

Becky Kiser: 00:37:05

To be in ministry roles within the church?

Becky Kiser: 00:37:08

yeah.

Becky Kiser: 00:37:09

They were always in ministry roles.

Becky Kiser: 00:37:12

Now, certain denominations would say it's not okay, and certain people holding

Becky Kiser: 00:37:16

certain theological stances would say, no, women are to shut their mouth.

Becky Kiser: 00:37:21

Women aren't to teach men.

Becky Kiser: 00:37:23

But when we look at the full story of God, when we look at how Jesus consistently

Becky Kiser: 00:37:27

elevated women throughout scripture, when we look at their roles and positions all

Becky Kiser: 00:37:32

throughout, since the beginning of time, now the only limitations I see of women

Becky Kiser: 00:37:37

in scripture were those of the culture.

Becky Kiser: 00:37:40

And so when we look at the culture of scripture and see, Oh, maybe

Becky Kiser: 00:37:44

women just couldn't do that because.

Becky Kiser: 00:37:48

They weren't right.

Becky Kiser: 00:37:49

so you referenced David.

Becky Kiser: 00:37:51

David was allowed to have thousands of wives.

Becky Kiser: 00:37:54

We would say today, that's probably not okay.

Becky Kiser: 00:37:57

But culturally, this is one element we can't understand about

Becky Kiser: 00:38:00

David, but culturally there, he wasn't breaking a law of God.

Becky Kiser: 00:38:05

It's just weird.

Becky Kiser: 00:38:07

I would say the same for women, not having prominence and position.

Becky Kiser: 00:38:12

I mean, women in America have just been able to vote for a hundred years.

Becky Kiser: 00:38:15

So when we talk about women not having place in position, I think a lot of

Becky Kiser: 00:38:20

that's rooted in, it wasn't until 30 years ago that women really even started

Becky Kiser: 00:38:25

to be in leadership in the world, people who don't even hold Christian values.

Becky Kiser: 00:38:30

And so I would say we're coming along, but we're coming along way too slow

Becky Kiser: 00:38:35

when it comes to what women can do.

Becky Kiser: 00:38:38

And we're handicapped by verses that have been interpreted by some men,

Becky Kiser: 00:38:43

not all men, And then preach from the stage because that's all that's been

Becky Kiser: 00:38:47

allowed to communicate the truth.

Tim Winders: 00:38:49

And you brought up something earlier, you mentioned your daughters

Tim Winders: 00:38:52

and you mentioned missing a field trip.

Tim Winders: 00:38:56

And truthfully, listen, there'll be other field trips,

Becky Kiser: 00:38:58

Yeah.

Tim Winders: 00:38:59

but.

Tim Winders: 00:39:00

I'll mention this and you can respond to it if you'd like part of training

Tim Winders: 00:39:07

up our children, which is scriptural.

Tim Winders: 00:39:09

We are to train them up is, is not to be with them all the time.

Tim Winders: 00:39:14

I mean, in my opinion, this is my parenting style.

Tim Winders: 00:39:17

My wife would.

Tim Winders: 00:39:18

Maybe say some things similar, but part of our role, I think the biggest part of

Tim Winders: 00:39:23

that role is pointing them up and pointing them to the relationship with the father.

Tim Winders: 00:39:28

And I think one of the things that we do is provide an

Tim Winders: 00:39:32

example of what it looks like.

Tim Winders: 00:39:35

And truthfully, You being a successful, woman and the, the mother of three

Tim Winders: 00:39:43

daughters isn't showing them the path of what they can do more powerful than

Tim Winders: 00:39:51

saying, okay, and listen, there's, I think people need to go where they're called.

Tim Winders: 00:39:54

I think people need to go where their assignment is.

Tim Winders: 00:39:57

And, and, listen, there's probably times where you would say, I

Tim Winders: 00:40:01

think we even rescheduled once.

Tim Winders: 00:40:02

I don't know if what was going on, but it's like, It's Hey, listen, one

Tim Winders: 00:40:05

of my daughters needs something, Tim, we're going to talk on another day.

Tim Winders: 00:40:09

And that's cool.

Tim Winders: 00:40:10

I don't know if that was the case or not, but anyway, you want to say

Tim Winders: 00:40:13

anything about that as, and that is the model that one provides for

Tim Winders: 00:40:18

their children and their family.

Becky Kiser: 00:40:20

Yes.

Becky Kiser: 00:40:20

That's yes.

Becky Kiser: 00:40:21

And we did reschedule my, my oldest daughter had to get, braces on her

Becky Kiser: 00:40:25

bottom teeth and I knew she would be in so much pain and would need me.

Becky Kiser: 00:40:29

And so I reached out to you and your team to see, is there any

Becky Kiser: 00:40:33

way that we can move this around?

Becky Kiser: 00:40:35

So that's an example of, yes, it, it goes both ways on the compromise for

Becky Kiser: 00:40:40

between mom and worker and all of that.

Becky Kiser: 00:40:42

But what I always say for my daughters is, and it's unique

Becky Kiser: 00:40:47

because I'm raising girls, right?

Becky Kiser: 00:40:48

So this context of how women are positioned within church culture,

Becky Kiser: 00:40:53

Christian culture, I see it not just for myself, but I see what do I want

Becky Kiser: 00:40:58

to be important for my children in And I've said that so many times to

Becky Kiser: 00:41:02

friends of I just don't want to raise girls who just raise kids, who just

Becky Kiser: 00:41:07

raise kids, who just raise kids.

Becky Kiser: 00:41:09

Because what, what is that cycle teaches nothing.

Becky Kiser: 00:41:12

And it is actually very similar to the culture of Bible times.

Becky Kiser: 00:41:18

So I can get why it's been taught in the church, because that was women

Becky Kiser: 00:41:22

only, like their job was to go collect water, to make meals, to entertain

Becky Kiser: 00:41:27

the guests and to raise the children.

Becky Kiser: 00:41:30

So it's actually very biblical roles for women, but our culture

Becky Kiser: 00:41:35

has changed significantly.

Becky Kiser: 00:41:37

And me, how can I show my girls, okay, how do we listen

Becky Kiser: 00:41:41

to the voice of God within us?

Becky Kiser: 00:41:42

How do we take leaps of faith towards the Holy Spirit to see

Becky Kiser: 00:41:46

what he might be leading us to do?

Becky Kiser: 00:41:48

How do we make mistakes?

Becky Kiser: 00:41:49

How do we try things?

Becky Kiser: 00:41:50

How do we fail at things?

Becky Kiser: 00:41:52

And in that you can still make sure your kids feel really seen and loved.

Becky Kiser: 00:41:57

And in that you can still have.

Becky Kiser: 00:41:59

And marriage that stands the test of time and has a really good seasons and you

Becky Kiser: 00:42:03

fight through the really hard seasons.

Becky Kiser: 00:42:05

You can still be involved in and serve your church community.

Becky Kiser: 00:42:09

You can still have really great friends who show up for you when you need it

Becky Kiser: 00:42:12

and you show up for when they need it.

Becky Kiser: 00:42:15

so that the whole.

Becky Kiser: 00:42:18

The holistic approach is so much better and so much richer than just

Becky Kiser: 00:42:22

saying, all right, you're going to be great little mamas one day.

Becky Kiser: 00:42:26

And that's not a bad thing to say, but it's a bad thing to

Becky Kiser: 00:42:29

say when it's the only thing.

Tim Winders: 00:42:32

And I think it speaks so much to a word that I really

Tim Winders: 00:42:37

loathe, and that is tradition.

Tim Winders: 00:42:41

And listen, let's don't, let's, Don't make light of the fact that I'm a guy

Tim Winders: 00:42:47

that has basically been homeless for now going on 12, 12 years, my wife

Tim Winders: 00:42:54

and I've been traveling the world, went to Bible school for a minute

Tim Winders: 00:42:57

or two, and then jumped in an RV.

Tim Winders: 00:42:59

And so we're now over our five year anniversary of we don't have a home.

Tim Winders: 00:43:03

We don't have stuff.

Tim Winders: 00:43:04

We don't adhere to that.

Tim Winders: 00:43:05

So I, I love the thought of that.

Tim Winders: 00:43:08

And it goes back to, I believe, It's huge that people need to be seeking

Tim Winders: 00:43:12

the kingdom of God and they need to find their assignment in God's kingdom.

Tim Winders: 00:43:17

And so the, the path that you're moving along is cool.

Tim Winders: 00:43:22

There is, there's a book and a group that I think you started a few years

Tim Winders: 00:43:26

back called is it sacred holidays?

Tim Winders: 00:43:28

Did I get that right?

Tim Winders: 00:43:30

All right.

Tim Winders: 00:43:31

All right.

Tim Winders: 00:43:32

The reason I love this topic, and I want to get to talking about your new

Tim Winders: 00:43:35

book here as we wrap up, but the reason I love this topic is that I think that

Tim Winders: 00:43:39

our culture, society, church world, all of that has really messed up.

Tim Winders: 00:43:44

And I'll even say it idolized holidays, dates, Birthdays, my

Tim Winders: 00:43:51

wife's birthday is coming up.

Tim Winders: 00:43:52

I might have something thrown to me from the back of the RV here,

Tim Winders: 00:43:54

but we just making them, made them a bigger deal than possible.

Tim Winders: 00:43:58

I don't, that's what you talk about there, but talk a little bit about

Tim Winders: 00:44:02

what you did with sacred holidays.

Tim Winders: 00:44:03

And then we're going to move into talking about, but God can.

Becky Kiser: 00:44:07

Yes.

Becky Kiser: 00:44:07

So I know eight or so years ago, I saw I had younger kids then.

Becky Kiser: 00:44:14

And I just saw that there was so just like what you said, holidays

Becky Kiser: 00:44:18

are made into this huge thing, but they are also so commercialized now.

Becky Kiser: 00:44:22

And I just, I didn't want to raise my kids.

Becky Kiser: 00:44:25

I love holidays.

Becky Kiser: 00:44:25

I love celebration.

Becky Kiser: 00:44:26

Obviously all the color you see is I, I like fun that funds

Becky Kiser: 00:44:30

an important value for me.

Becky Kiser: 00:44:32

so I like the celebrations.

Becky Kiser: 00:44:35

But I also felt lost in them and I wasn't sure how to do a lot of them, especially

Becky Kiser: 00:44:40

like those surrounding, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, and Halloween.

Becky Kiser: 00:44:45

what does this look like for us as Christians to

Becky Kiser: 00:44:48

celebrate all of these things?

Becky Kiser: 00:44:50

And.

Becky Kiser: 00:44:51

so that had me, I ended up doing some Advent studies, some Lent studies, and

Becky Kiser: 00:44:55

then Lifeway had reached out about doing a whole book over all the holidays.

Becky Kiser: 00:44:59

So that's a great resource guidebook for we talk about all the things.

Becky Kiser: 00:45:02

How do you have less chaos and more Jesus in your holiday moments?

Becky Kiser: 00:45:08

and when I released that book five years ago, It's interesting because

Becky Kiser: 00:45:12

it, it felt I guess we talk about leadership and choices and whenever

Becky Kiser: 00:45:18

that had come out, it did really well.

Becky Kiser: 00:45:20

And I also felt like this season's done and I, I shut down the ministry.

Becky Kiser: 00:45:26

And even though I was like a year out of the book being released, Things

Becky Kiser: 00:45:29

were going unbelievably well and I felt like it was just time for whatever was

Becky Kiser: 00:45:35

next, but I didn't know what that was.

Becky Kiser: 00:45:37

so that's where Tim, I was like, okay, we're going to shut the door

Becky Kiser: 00:45:40

on this ministry and just see.

Becky Kiser: 00:45:43

And I closed everything down in December and, three months

Becky Kiser: 00:45:48

later, COVID took over our world.

Becky Kiser: 00:45:50

And because I had closed things down, I had the capacity to just say to God,

Becky Kiser: 00:45:56

I have this white space now, Lord, how do you, how can I help your people?

Becky Kiser: 00:46:00

How can I help you?

Becky Kiser: 00:46:01

And as we were all in the midst of this really hard, impossible

Becky Kiser: 00:46:05

season of our lives, I was talking to friends who were just exhausted.

Becky Kiser: 00:46:09

Like we were all thrown into homeschooling and none of us playing to homeschool.

Becky Kiser: 00:46:13

And, we were all just stuck at home constantly.

Becky Kiser: 00:46:16

But then I would talk to colleagues of mine who were speakers and teachers and.

Becky Kiser: 00:46:21

Everybody was, all their events had been canceled.

Becky Kiser: 00:46:23

And for some of them, that was income that they relied on.

Becky Kiser: 00:46:26

It was also giftings that they loved using and could it now.

Becky Kiser: 00:46:29

and then I would talk to ministry leaders, women's pastors and other

Becky Kiser: 00:46:33

pastors, and they were like, we don't know how to reach our people.

Becky Kiser: 00:46:36

And so that's where I reached out to my brother, my partner in actual crime.

Becky Kiser: 00:46:40

and just said, because he's, his superpower is helping ministries

Becky Kiser: 00:46:44

maximize their impact online.

Becky Kiser: 00:46:46

And so I said, bro, I.

Becky Kiser: 00:46:48

All my retreats have been canceled.

Becky Kiser: 00:46:50

What if we, can we move a retreat online?

Becky Kiser: 00:46:52

Like I wouldn't even know how to do that.

Becky Kiser: 00:46:54

beyond a few zoom sessions, I'd not done much on Facebook lives.

Becky Kiser: 00:46:59

And so we decided let's, let's do this retreat and let's do an online women's

Becky Kiser: 00:47:04

retreat that was literally the name of it, Tim, like all my women's retreat.

Becky Kiser: 00:47:08

com.

Becky Kiser: 00:47:09

just simple, pure.

Becky Kiser: 00:47:11

I texted all my friends who were teachers asked if anybody would do it.

Becky Kiser: 00:47:14

We started posting on social media.

Becky Kiser: 00:47:17

And within a month, we had 50 teachers say yes to do a session and over

Becky Kiser: 00:47:21

almost 10, 000 women sign up to do it.

Becky Kiser: 00:47:24

And I share that story because it was so clear.

Becky Kiser: 00:47:29

Sometimes God closes something that's good and we don't know why, but

Becky Kiser: 00:47:33

I had this space then to do this.

Becky Kiser: 00:47:34

And that's where things really began to pivot out of the holiday focus for

Becky Kiser: 00:47:38

me and into, okay, you have this life coach voice, you love teaching the Bible.

Becky Kiser: 00:47:43

How do we, how do we hone that?

Becky Kiser: 00:47:45

How do we really focus in on that?

Becky Kiser: 00:47:46

And so that's where things have really transitioned for me from, from doing

Becky Kiser: 00:47:51

that event into, let's just focus on helping women live exactly where they

Becky Kiser: 00:47:56

are in the life, our life now, thankfully for all of us, four years later, we are

Becky Kiser: 00:48:01

no longer COVID still exists, but our lives are as normal as they'll ever be.

Becky Kiser: 00:48:08

Like

Tim Winders: 00:48:08

Yeah,

Becky Kiser: 00:48:08

we're still not normal.

Becky Kiser: 00:48:09

Totally.

Tim Winders: 00:48:11

going on.

Tim Winders: 00:48:12

And, and one of the things that we often see, and I'm sure you see within

Tim Winders: 00:48:18

your Bible study, is that many people believe that Jesus would be like the,

Tim Winders: 00:48:27

the magic pill or the silver bullet.

Tim Winders: 00:48:28

I get saved and my life just works out perfectly.

Tim Winders: 00:48:32

I think sometimes the church Promotes that a little bit.

Tim Winders: 00:48:36

And it's led to this word we hear a lot.

Tim Winders: 00:48:39

And I think you bring it up in your book, this, this term called self

Tim Winders: 00:48:44

help, this whole thing that you can take charge of anything that might be

Tim Winders: 00:48:52

wrong or bad or anything like that.

Tim Winders: 00:48:54

And you can fix it, correct it, counsel it out, all of that.

Tim Winders: 00:48:58

That wasn't a negative on counseling.

Tim Winders: 00:49:00

It's the mindset.

Tim Winders: 00:49:02

To me, it seems that, but God can is a counter to self help.

Tim Winders: 00:49:12

Am I right about that?

Becky Kiser: 00:49:14

That was the intention in writing it.

Becky Kiser: 00:49:17

And as I was pitching it to publishers, it is, it is meant

Becky Kiser: 00:49:21

to be not an attack against it.

Becky Kiser: 00:49:24

Because truthfully, as a life coach, as someone who grew up with a mother

Becky Kiser: 00:49:29

earth nature, I do see the value in all of those things that it's not

Becky Kiser: 00:49:33

that it's just all wasted or stupid.

Becky Kiser: 00:49:36

It's that it's, it's hollow, right?

Becky Kiser: 00:49:38

So there is.

Becky Kiser: 00:49:39

Great value on the surface, but then what is it like when life actually hits, right?

Becky Kiser: 00:49:46

Like when kids are in a bad mood and everybody's yelling at each other, when

Becky Kiser: 00:49:51

diagnosis is hit, when relationships fail, when you feel alone, when bank

Becky Kiser: 00:49:55

accounts don't balance, then what?

Becky Kiser: 00:49:58

Because our self help culture is all about your mindset and doing this.

Becky Kiser: 00:50:03

And at a certain point, you can't keep just fake it till you make it.

Becky Kiser: 00:50:07

That's where we're struggling as we're trying to do what the

Becky Kiser: 00:50:11

self help world is teaching us.

Becky Kiser: 00:50:13

And they're not bad principles.

Becky Kiser: 00:50:16

But what the gospel says is on your own you actually can't so stop trying

Becky Kiser: 00:50:21

to feel like you got this you can do anything Just make it happen.

Becky Kiser: 00:50:26

The gospel message is on our own We can't but God can that's why he had to send

Becky Kiser: 00:50:32

his son Jesus to live a perfect life on earth Show us the way and then die for our

Becky Kiser: 00:50:38

sins so that we could all have new life For us as Christians, we have to start

Becky Kiser: 00:50:43

acknowledging, listen, I can't do it all.

Becky Kiser: 00:50:45

I say that to my girls all the time, which is so contrary

Becky Kiser: 00:50:48

to what they hear at school.

Becky Kiser: 00:50:49

I'm sure I've I tell them you can't do it all and you can't be anything.

Becky Kiser: 00:50:55

That's actually really good news.

Becky Kiser: 00:50:57

That takes the pressure off of them.

Becky Kiser: 00:50:59

And I've been saying, but you know what, with God, you can do the very thing

Becky Kiser: 00:51:03

he's called and equipped you to do.

Becky Kiser: 00:51:05

So all those stories we hear about David killing Goliath, he can do

Becky Kiser: 00:51:09

that because he had God behind him.

Becky Kiser: 00:51:11

Our David being the youngest and the smallest, but then becoming King, we can,

Becky Kiser: 00:51:16

he was able to do that because God saw him and chose him and called him out and

Becky Kiser: 00:51:21

anointed him and then led him through all the other things he had accomplished.

Becky Kiser: 00:51:25

So we too, in each of our weaknesses.

Becky Kiser: 00:51:29

God can say, listen, I do have a purpose for you.

Becky Kiser: 00:51:32

I can do things through you even though you are so weak on your own.

Becky Kiser: 00:51:36

You're supposed to be, you're human, but I can do anything with you.

Becky Kiser: 00:51:40

Would you let me, would you let me?

Tim Winders: 00:51:43

Hmm.

Tim Winders: 00:51:44

There's a word.

Tim Winders: 00:51:45

I think it's striving.

Tim Winders: 00:51:47

Do you have that?

Tim Winders: 00:51:47

How to stop striving.

Tim Winders: 00:51:48

Boy, I'm seeing this quite a bit.

Tim Winders: 00:51:54

And I had this in a conversation that was last week that the listener can go

Tim Winders: 00:52:00

back and check out with, with a male that would be in a very Alan Morris,

Tim Winders: 00:52:04

very successful role that he hit a wall at 47 and realized he was trying

Tim Winders: 00:52:09

to do too much for too many people.

Tim Winders: 00:52:12

His bio is awesome, all this kind of stuff.

Tim Winders: 00:52:14

And he had, he got broken down and, and, and had to.

Tim Winders: 00:52:19

Change things.

Tim Winders: 00:52:20

Talk about that word, striving, and I'll just throw one more thing in with it.

Tim Winders: 00:52:26

To me, it seems as if today, because I'm of the age now, I'm straddling

Tim Winders: 00:52:32

a couple of generations here.

Tim Winders: 00:52:34

I'm the tail end of baby boomers.

Tim Winders: 00:52:36

I'm 60 years old and I could remember pre internet, pre 24 7 news.

Tim Winders: 00:52:41

And I can tell you, we had a couple of things going on, but we did not have as

Tim Winders: 00:52:44

much going on as we've got going on now.

Tim Winders: 00:52:46

It seems like Becky, we're trying to do too much.

Tim Winders: 00:52:51

We're striving and trying to prove something to either God or everybody else.

Tim Winders: 00:52:55

So anyway, that's my softball for you to talk about striving.

Tim Winders: 00:53:00

How do we stop striving?

Becky Kiser: 00:53:04

It's hard to say stop striving because so many of

Becky Kiser: 00:53:08

the things we're striving to do are things that we have to do.

Becky Kiser: 00:53:11

So it's not something that, okay, I listened to this podcast and Becky and

Becky Kiser: 00:53:16

Tim, they shared so many great ideas.

Becky Kiser: 00:53:17

I tomorrow's my day.

Becky Kiser: 00:53:19

I'm no longer striving.

Becky Kiser: 00:53:21

This is the long game again, right?

Becky Kiser: 00:53:22

This is the long game again.

Becky Kiser: 00:53:25

And even last year, it's really funny.

Becky Kiser: 00:53:27

As I was editing my book, I was very convicted and there were things in it that

Becky Kiser: 00:53:32

we realized as I was going through it, There's still areas I'm striving, right?

Becky Kiser: 00:53:37

Cause it's constantly a process and a journey.

Becky Kiser: 00:53:40

And there's ways we're training our girls to strive.

Becky Kiser: 00:53:43

So for example, at the time of writing it, all three of my girls were competitive

Becky Kiser: 00:53:47

dancers and Tim, they were great at it.

Becky Kiser: 00:53:50

so good.

Becky Kiser: 00:53:52

And the dance studio was our family and all of that, but it took a lot of money,

Becky Kiser: 00:53:58

a lot of time to be there and to do that.

Becky Kiser: 00:54:01

And we realized as a family, This is our weight.

Becky Kiser: 00:54:04

Like we are striving and we were training our girls to strive.

Becky Kiser: 00:54:08

And I'm not saying competitive sports are bad for other people.

Becky Kiser: 00:54:11

I think all of us have to evaluate year to year, but we were also in the middle

Becky Kiser: 00:54:15

of a season when we felt that conviction.

Becky Kiser: 00:54:17

So we couldn't quit.

Becky Kiser: 00:54:18

Like we were still in it.

Becky Kiser: 00:54:20

And, but we had made the decision.

Becky Kiser: 00:54:22

We weren't going to do it.

Becky Kiser: 00:54:23

But then at the last minute, our girls were like devastated.

Becky Kiser: 00:54:26

This was their family.

Becky Kiser: 00:54:27

This was all they knew.

Becky Kiser: 00:54:29

And so we went ahead and let them audition.

Becky Kiser: 00:54:31

Of course they made it and we were stuck again.

Becky Kiser: 00:54:33

And, three weeks after that, before they did casting the

Becky Kiser: 00:54:37

studio, we had to tell that we've felt that conviction of the Lord.

Becky Kiser: 00:54:40

this is a year we're back in this for a year.

Becky Kiser: 00:54:43

And so we pulled out and we said, listen, I know we are,

Becky Kiser: 00:54:46

yes, we want our yes to be, yes.

Becky Kiser: 00:54:48

We want our commitments to be strong, but at the end of the day,

Becky Kiser: 00:54:51

this is not best for our family.

Becky Kiser: 00:54:52

And it was a hard transition for them because this was their friendship.

Becky Kiser: 00:54:56

This is how they found a lot of work.

Becky Kiser: 00:54:58

It was, gave them a lot of energy.

Becky Kiser: 00:55:00

It took a lot of energy and, it was a change, but our family

Becky Kiser: 00:55:04

is so much freer because of it.

Becky Kiser: 00:55:06

So much for your, because of it.

Becky Kiser: 00:55:08

So that's, that would be one practical example that I would

Becky Kiser: 00:55:12

say, stop striving, isn't something that you can do overnight, right?

Becky Kiser: 00:55:16

That was a journey.

Becky Kiser: 00:55:17

And it also, it also wasn't easy at first.

Becky Kiser: 00:55:20

It was like, Oh no, now we've made a mistake.

Becky Kiser: 00:55:22

And we also can't change our mind for another year, Once we got out of it.

Becky Kiser: 00:55:26

So I would just say, take it to the Lord and ask him, where am I striving that

Becky Kiser: 00:55:31

maybe I can calm down and like for your daughter, it sounds like for her, even

Becky Kiser: 00:55:35

being on Instagram was something that increased that drive to be something she

Becky Kiser: 00:55:40

wasn't, which would have been striving.

Becky Kiser: 00:55:42

And so trust the spirit within you.

Becky Kiser: 00:55:45

We are given this helper.

Becky Kiser: 00:55:46

Ask the Holy Spirit to show you where am I striving and then have

Becky Kiser: 00:55:50

faith enough to try stopping.

Becky Kiser: 00:55:53

And it's as simple as bit right.

Becky Kiser: 00:55:54

We talk about that in the book, taking baby steps and leaps of faith.

Becky Kiser: 00:55:58

Okay.

Becky Kiser: 00:55:58

What's a very practical baby step that you can take.

Becky Kiser: 00:56:00

And your daughter took Instagram off her phone.

Becky Kiser: 00:56:03

Genius.

Becky Kiser: 00:56:04

Now, can she still put it back on her phone?

Becky Kiser: 00:56:05

Could she log on from her computer?

Becky Kiser: 00:56:07

For sure.

Becky Kiser: 00:56:09

But that's a baby step she took to not strive on Instagram anymore.

Tim Winders: 00:56:14

The thing that I love about what you just said, and I'm going

Tim Winders: 00:56:16

to ask how it's played out with that practical thing with your daughters.

Tim Winders: 00:56:22

We had, we had our daughter and our son, and one of the, I don't even know if it

Tim Winders: 00:56:27

was a rule, but just principles of our family is that you can only have one,

Tim Winders: 00:56:33

maybe one and a half extracurricular activities, outside of schooling and we

Tim Winders: 00:56:37

homeschooled most of the time, but there were times that our children went in and

Tim Winders: 00:56:41

out of a private school or public school.

Tim Winders: 00:56:44

And I think that helped us.

Tim Winders: 00:56:46

But our daughter, very similar to your daughter's, she started

Tim Winders: 00:56:50

doing ballet at a very young age and was really, really good at it.

Tim Winders: 00:56:55

And at a teenage age, was looking at a pre pro program with the Atlanta Ballet.

Tim Winders: 00:57:05

Boy, I'm telling you what, if you want to see my head spin and

Tim Winders: 00:57:10

green stuff come out of my mouth, just start the nutcracker music.

Tim Winders: 00:57:14

I, oh my goodness gracious, I saw the nutcracker more than I want.

Tim Winders: 00:57:19

Anyway, sorry, I digress.

Becky Kiser: 00:57:21

a, it's a weird, it's a weird ballet for sure.

Tim Winders: 00:57:24

It is, and you know what happened with us?

Tim Winders: 00:57:26

It was very similar.

Tim Winders: 00:57:28

We were like discussing it as a family.

Tim Winders: 00:57:29

We felt like that season was over, but we didn't want to be bad stewards as parents.

Tim Winders: 00:57:36

And she went on a trip.

Tim Winders: 00:57:39

As an almost pre pro with the pros, I think Asheville, North

Tim Winders: 00:57:43

Carolina, this was Atlanta ballet.

Tim Winders: 00:57:45

And you know what?

Tim Winders: 00:57:46

When she came back, we've been praying about it.

Tim Winders: 00:57:48

We've been saying, Lord, what do we need to do about this?

Tim Winders: 00:57:49

It doesn't feel right.

Tim Winders: 00:57:51

She came back and she says, I'm finished with ballet.

Tim Winders: 00:57:54

And we said, why?

Tim Winders: 00:57:55

She goes, I don't want to keep going down that path.

Tim Winders: 00:57:58

I don't want the next steps of them dieting and they're smoking to keep their

Tim Winders: 00:58:03

weight off and they're compromising and their bodies are very, and you know what

Tim Winders: 00:58:07

we said, how will you praise the Lord?

Tim Winders: 00:58:09

So part of it is.

Tim Winders: 00:58:12

But God can trusting in God.

Tim Winders: 00:58:17

So has everything been okay with the girls with that practical

Tim Winders: 00:58:20

decision that's been made?

Becky Kiser: 00:58:23

I would say at first it wasn't okay.

Becky Kiser: 00:58:25

Like at first they were very alone.

Becky Kiser: 00:58:28

They They were no longer with their friends and not even cause

Becky Kiser: 00:58:31

their friends left them out.

Becky Kiser: 00:58:32

It's because their friends were still at the studio 20 hours a week and

Becky Kiser: 00:58:35

they just practically weren't there.

Becky Kiser: 00:58:37

and they were like, they were bored again, which I loved because I was

Becky Kiser: 00:58:43

like, my kids have not been bored in years and they wrestled with what,

Becky Kiser: 00:58:47

what, what does boredom look like?

Becky Kiser: 00:58:49

How are we bored?

Becky Kiser: 00:58:50

And, but now what I.

Becky Kiser: 00:58:53

Eight months later was zero.

Becky Kiser: 00:58:54

They have zero, we had zero regrets pretty early on.

Becky Kiser: 00:58:58

And I would say they are all on board with it now and thriving in different ways.

Becky Kiser: 00:59:04

My oldest is just made the cheer team at her school and she made it easily because

Becky Kiser: 00:59:10

of the training she'd had in dance.

Becky Kiser: 00:59:11

She had so many of those skills and now she has all these friends at

Becky Kiser: 00:59:15

school, which she didn't have time to have friends at school before,

Becky Kiser: 00:59:18

because she left early for dancing.

Becky Kiser: 00:59:20

Her bestest life friends were at the studio.

Becky Kiser: 00:59:23

my middle daughter has struggled the most as a fifth grader because she can't,

Becky Kiser: 00:59:27

there's not activities at school yet.

Becky Kiser: 00:59:30

but even that I've seen a lack of drama in her life and her.

Becky Kiser: 00:59:35

Figuring out who she is and making new friendships.

Becky Kiser: 00:59:38

And, there's so much personal growth she has had that she

Becky Kiser: 00:59:42

won't be able to appreciate yet.

Becky Kiser: 00:59:43

But I think in the next couple of years, she will be very grateful for.

Becky Kiser: 00:59:47

And then my youngest man, it's been really fun just to see her be

Becky Kiser: 00:59:51

like a normal elementary school kid who has play dates after school.

Becky Kiser: 00:59:55

She's.

Becky Kiser: 00:59:56

She, you would love her too, because she is just like a little entrepreneur.

Becky Kiser: 00:59:59

She has started her and one of her best friends have been selling bracelets

Becky Kiser: 01:00:04

on the curb of our neighborhood.

Becky Kiser: 01:00:05

Like that at the entrance of our neighborhood that they would make

Becky Kiser: 01:00:08

and the business slowed down.

Becky Kiser: 01:00:10

So they've started, we went to Costco and now they have a snack

Becky Kiser: 01:00:14

shop and they sell their bracelets.

Becky Kiser: 01:00:16

They made 38 on their first day at the curb and only spent 28 at Costco.

Becky Kiser: 01:00:22

So like they're already.

Becky Kiser: 01:00:24

She would have never done that had she been at the dance

Becky Kiser: 01:00:27

studio five hours that day.

Becky Kiser: 01:00:29

And so there are things like that, that we're seeing and that they're

Becky Kiser: 01:00:33

starting to see of, okay, this was a win, but it was hard at first.

Becky Kiser: 01:00:38

And for all of us changing, going from just staying on that hamster wheel,

Becky Kiser: 01:00:43

but then saying, I'm going to stop the striving and God, I'm going to go to

Becky Kiser: 01:00:47

you and I'm going to live purposefully.

Becky Kiser: 01:00:48

And I'm going to find abundance, which is so different than what America teaches.

Becky Kiser: 01:00:53

When we do that, when we say yes to God in those capacities, while

Becky Kiser: 01:00:57

it takes time, there is this fruitfulness that comes from it.

Becky Kiser: 01:01:01

That's the abundance, right?

Becky Kiser: 01:01:02

So yes, she made 38, but what she got out of that was she was rejected by a hundred

Becky Kiser: 01:01:08

cars that drove by and didn't stop.

Becky Kiser: 01:01:10

And she kept cheering and trying to flag cars down.

Becky Kiser: 01:01:12

There were, so there's all these things she's learned that were wins.

Becky Kiser: 01:01:17

And what I've learned is.

Becky Kiser: 01:01:19

Man, trust the spirit in you.

Becky Kiser: 01:01:21

I doubted it at first, which is why I let them try out.

Becky Kiser: 01:01:24

And I learned, no, Becky, when you send something, you can listen to

Becky Kiser: 01:01:28

that spirit, the spirit within you and trust it because it's right.

Becky Kiser: 01:01:32

It's good.

Becky Kiser: 01:01:33

And it will be okay.

Becky Kiser: 01:01:34

Even if it's going to be hard.

Tim Winders: 01:01:36

The cool thing about that is, is I believe I know I've

Tim Winders: 01:01:39

been guilty of this, that I could get so busy doing quote unquote good

Tim Winders: 01:01:43

things that there's no room for God.

Tim Winders: 01:01:46

To jump in.

Tim Winders: 01:01:47

I love the selling bracelet story.

Tim Winders: 01:01:49

We're in an RV resort near Sedona, Arizona right now.

Tim Winders: 01:01:52

And I go out and I'll listen to podcasts.

Tim Winders: 01:01:54

I might've been even listening to yours and I'm doing my walking and I go by this

Tim Winders: 01:01:58

little table beside an RV and there are three girls sitting there and I don't.

Tim Winders: 01:02:04

My wife doesn't let me have cash because of situations just like this.

Tim Winders: 01:02:08

And, and so I look at them and they've got bracelets and some

Tim Winders: 01:02:12

things that they've made, and I don't even know what a lot of it is.

Tim Winders: 01:02:15

And so I come hustling back to the RV and I said, glory, glory, glory, get some

Tim Winders: 01:02:20

cash, we got to go out because there's some girls up here selling some stuff

Tim Winders: 01:02:24

and I could tell they weren't getting a lot of traffic here within the RV resort.

Tim Winders: 01:02:28

There's only 400 spots here.

Tim Winders: 01:02:31

So we went back up there and, and I told the girls I may come back with my wife.

Tim Winders: 01:02:35

And when they saw me come in, I could tell they were a little bit excited.

Tim Winders: 01:02:38

And then we went up there and my wife only had twenties and she

Tim Winders: 01:02:41

was just looking and all of that.

Tim Winders: 01:02:42

And if it were to have been me, I would have given them a 20 and

Tim Winders: 01:02:45

gotten a couple of bracelets.

Tim Winders: 01:02:46

But she says, Hey, we need to go up to the office.

Tim Winders: 01:02:48

We're going to get changed.

Tim Winders: 01:02:49

And when we turned the corner, coming back from the office,

Tim Winders: 01:02:51

they were doing the dance.

Tim Winders: 01:02:53

They were like going here, they come.

Tim Winders: 01:02:55

And It's you know what, man, I love that stuff.

Tim Winders: 01:02:58

I love that, that your girl's got that.

Tim Winders: 01:03:00

That's valuable training them up in the way that they should go.

Tim Winders: 01:03:06

Becky, but God can this book.

Tim Winders: 01:03:09

I'm going to allow you at some time here, speak directly to whoever

Tim Winders: 01:03:13

this book is for and let them know that they need to get the book.

Tim Winders: 01:03:18

And then you could tell where they could find it.

Tim Winders: 01:03:19

But first let, let the person know who should get it.

Tim Winders: 01:03:24

Okay.

Tim Winders: 01:03:24

You know who they are.

Becky Kiser: 01:03:26

Yeah.

Becky Kiser: 01:03:27

For anyone who is listening, if you are a female, I would say if

Becky Kiser: 01:03:31

you've resonated with anything that we've talked about today, if

Becky Kiser: 01:03:33

you've resonated with the fact that.

Becky Kiser: 01:03:36

You feel like you're striving.

Becky Kiser: 01:03:37

You're on that hamster wheel.

Becky Kiser: 01:03:38

You don't know what your purpose is.

Becky Kiser: 01:03:40

You feel overwhelmed by the pressures, both within culture and within the church.

Becky Kiser: 01:03:44

And you need like that oxygen mask that the plane talks about,

Becky Kiser: 01:03:49

putting it on yourself so that you can breathe free again.

Becky Kiser: 01:03:52

But God can is for you.

Becky Kiser: 01:03:54

It's very, very practical where I coach you through each chapter.

Becky Kiser: 01:03:58

There's activities, there's questions to process, there's challenges.

Becky Kiser: 01:04:03

It's meant to feel like a coaching session where you have someone really

Becky Kiser: 01:04:05

guiding you through it for the men listening, which I know there's more

Becky Kiser: 01:04:09

men likely, hopefully still listening than women even is, I would say for

Becky Kiser: 01:04:15

you, this is, you're probably not going to grab this hot pink book.

Becky Kiser: 01:04:18

And I, I would say that's probably a smart decision, but you know what

Becky Kiser: 01:04:23

you have women in your life who want to be seen, who want to be heard.

Becky Kiser: 01:04:29

And so what a beautiful gift it would be for you to buy this and then attach

Becky Kiser: 01:04:34

a card to it that says, I see you.

Becky Kiser: 01:04:36

I see how hard you're working in your area of life.

Becky Kiser: 01:04:40

And I, I want to let you know, I believe in you.

Becky Kiser: 01:04:43

I know you feel overwhelmed by motherhood, but God can still use you in this moment.

Becky Kiser: 01:04:47

Or I know you feel lonely in this new emptiness or season of your life,

Becky Kiser: 01:04:51

but God still has a purpose for you.

Becky Kiser: 01:04:54

So I would challenge every man listening to grab a copy of this.

Becky Kiser: 01:04:59

On whatever is your preferred place to purchase products from and send it to

Becky Kiser: 01:05:04

all the significant women in your life and sit and let speak that affirmation

Becky Kiser: 01:05:08

over them that they need to hear.

Becky Kiser: 01:05:11

you asked where you can purchase this anywhere you buy books

Becky Kiser: 01:05:13

online, the book is sold.

Becky Kiser: 01:05:15

So if you shop at Amazon or target or Barnes and Noble or Walmart, whatever.

Becky Kiser: 01:05:21

com the book is there.

Becky Kiser: 01:05:22

So buy it.

Becky Kiser: 01:05:24

For yourself, send it to your friends.

Becky Kiser: 01:05:26

and then you can go to Becky Kaiser.

Becky Kiser: 01:05:28

com.

Becky Kiser: 01:05:29

I have a page dedicated to the book that has all kinds of free resources

Becky Kiser: 01:05:33

to download, to go along with it.

Becky Kiser: 01:05:35

I'll be doing some bonus teaching there, have some extra downloadables for people.

Becky Kiser: 01:05:40

And then I hang out the most on Instagram, which we've

Becky Kiser: 01:05:43

talked about quite a bit today.

Becky Kiser: 01:05:44

And I'm at Becky Kaiser K I S E R.

Becky Kiser: 01:05:48

And you'll find links to my site and the book and all of that on the page.

Becky Kiser: 01:05:52

And that would be the best place for us to connect in the DMs and

Becky Kiser: 01:05:54

the comments on posts that I have.

Tim Winders: 01:05:56

Excellent.

Tim Winders: 01:05:57

And at the time this episode is releasing, it's the book is released

Tim Winders: 01:06:02

and you, unfortunately men, you have missed mother's day, but it would have

Tim Winders: 01:06:07

been a great mother's day gift to give.

Tim Winders: 01:06:11

So be thinking about that.

Tim Winders: 01:06:12

Don't let any of the other

Becky Kiser: 01:06:14

You know what women like even more than a mother's day gift.

Becky Kiser: 01:06:17

We like a just because gift.

Becky Kiser: 01:06:19

So instead of just giving it to her on a day that you're supposed

Becky Kiser: 01:06:24

to give her something, just get it for her just cause you love her.

Tim Winders: 01:06:28

good sales there, especially for someone like me.

Tim Winders: 01:06:32

wife who her love language is gifts.

Tim Winders: 01:06:35

She let not G I F S but G I F T S she loves getting gifts.

Tim Winders: 01:06:39

So thank you, Becky.

Tim Winders: 01:06:41

What a great conversation.

Tim Winders: 01:06:42

We could continue speaking, but we're seek go create those three words.

Tim Winders: 01:06:48

Choose one.

Tim Winders: 01:06:49

Just don't ever think it, that means more to you.

Tim Winders: 01:06:51

Seek, go or create.

Tim Winders: 01:06:53

My last question, which one do you choose and why?

Becky Kiser: 01:06:57

I'm going to go with create.

Becky Kiser: 01:06:59

Typically I'm a goer, but I'm going to go with create.

Becky Kiser: 01:07:02

Cause right now I'm in a very creative space of we're doing a lot

Becky Kiser: 01:07:06

of updates and changes to our house.

Becky Kiser: 01:07:08

So I'm getting to get my hands dirty with paints and yard work.

Becky Kiser: 01:07:12

And, and then also with ministry and business and my next writing projects,

Becky Kiser: 01:07:16

just getting to really create.

Becky Kiser: 01:07:18

Open handedly go to the Lord and ask what's next for this.

Becky Kiser: 01:07:21

So I feel very in a creative mind space right now.

Tim Winders: 01:07:26

Very good.

Tim Winders: 01:07:27

Create.

Tim Winders: 01:07:27

Love it.

Tim Winders: 01:07:28

Love it.

Tim Winders: 01:07:28

Love it.

Tim Winders: 01:07:29

Becky.

Tim Winders: 01:07:29

Thanks so much for this conversation.

Tim Winders: 01:07:31

I highly encourage anyone listening to get, but God.

Tim Winders: 01:07:36

Can, and I love the subtitle, how to stop striving and live

Tim Winders: 01:07:41

purposefully and abundantly.

Tim Winders: 01:07:44

I love that.

Tim Winders: 01:07:45

So make sure you check that out.

Tim Winders: 01:07:47

Jump over to hearers and doers.

Tim Winders: 01:07:48

Also, if you're on a podcast platform right now, jump over there

Tim Winders: 01:07:51

and listen in with the with all that Becky's got going over there.

Tim Winders: 01:07:54

Great resource there also, unlike here where we've got 60 plus minute episodes.

Tim Winders: 01:07:59

She's got a few that are seven and 10 and 11 minutes long, which you

Tim Winders: 01:08:04

could get a number of those in when you're out walking for an hour.

Tim Winders: 01:08:07

So I have, I appreciate that someone in the world can be brief

Tim Winders: 01:08:11

and to the point, but anyway.

Tim Winders: 01:08:13

I appreciate you listening in here at SeatGo Create.

Tim Winders: 01:08:15

We've got new episodes on YouTube and on all your podcast platforms every Monday.

Tim Winders: 01:08:20

I appreciate you greatly listening in sharing and commenting and also rating

Tim Winders: 01:08:25

and reviewing us until next time continue being all that you were created to be.