Building a “Gym for Your Mind”: Exercising Your Brain with Chris Yonker

Chris Yonker: 00:00:00

And quite frankly, I believe that, it'd be helpful if we all

Chris Yonker: 00:00:02

spent more time in the present moment.

Chris Yonker: 00:00:04

Cuz that's where our love is.

Chris Yonker: 00:00:06

It's where our connection is, it's where, that's where our, meaning is.

Chris Yonker: 00:00:10

and it's, yeah, sure.

Chris Yonker: 00:00:11

We wanna plan and we wanna be intentional about where we

Chris Yonker: 00:00:13

spend our time, effort, energy.

Chris Yonker: 00:00:14

And it's nothing wrong with investing time to be spontaneous or creating

Chris Yonker: 00:00:19

space to do the, all of these things.

Chris Yonker: 00:00:22

But how intentional we are is really important.

Tim Winders: 00:00:42

Hello everyone.

Tim Winders: 00:00:43

Tim Winders here.

Tim Winders: 00:00:43

Welcome to Seek Go Create.

Tim Winders: 00:00:46

I have better voice this week than I did probably on the last.

Tim Winders: 00:00:51

If you listen to last week's recording, I was almost voiceless, had some kind

Tim Winders: 00:00:55

of scratchy thing going, I don't know.

Tim Winders: 00:00:57

my wife hasn't told me she thinks it's a sexy voice.

Tim Winders: 00:01:00

I'm just really hopeful that she thinks it is.

Tim Winders: 00:01:03

But, I've got a little raspy thing going, but, this is where we dive

Tim Winders: 00:01:06

into the minds of extraordinary individuals who are redefining success.

Tim Winders: 00:01:11

Today is no different.

Tim Winders: 00:01:13

We're looking for people that are living with intention.

Tim Winders: 00:01:16

And our guests today is we have Chris Yonker, he's the founder of

Tim Winders: 00:01:20

the Center for Conscious Living and.

Tim Winders: 00:01:22

Fulfillment.

Tim Winders: 00:01:24

And he's a performance coach.

Tim Winders: 00:01:25

He's author of the book that I did read a couple weeks ago.

Tim Winders: 00:01:28

Soul Intention, an Executive's Guide to Living a Life By Choice, not by Chance.

Tim Winders: 00:01:33

Love that title.

Tim Winders: 00:01:35

So today we're gonna talk to Chris and look at his unique methodology to

Tim Winders: 00:01:38

gain insights into how we can create lasting positive change in our lives.

Tim Winders: 00:01:45

Chris, welcome to Seek Go Create.

Chris Yonker: 00:01:48

thank you.

Chris Yonker: 00:01:48

I've been looking forward to this conversation.

Tim Winders: 00:01:50

I've been looking forward too, because I'm like going, man,

Tim Winders: 00:01:51

this is Guy, oh, I love the things he says and all that he stands for.

Tim Winders: 00:01:55

This is the first time we've spoken live, so let's pretend that I

Tim Winders: 00:01:59

just bumped into you, and I want to say, Chris, what do you do?

Tim Winders: 00:02:05

What is your response when somebody asks you that question?

Chris Yonker: 00:02:08

I've changed the answer on that question over time.

Chris Yonker: 00:02:10

I probably a lot of us entrepreneurs have done so.

Chris Yonker: 00:02:13

it's interesting, I the simple answer today is I help people

Chris Yonker: 00:02:18

get out of their suffering.

Chris Yonker: 00:02:22

That's not why they call me, but it's really why they call me.

Tim Winders: 00:02:25

So that's not on your marketing materials or anything like that?

Tim Winders: 00:02:28

I was gonna say, I'm wondering how that would play out.

Chris Yonker: 00:02:30

Yeah.

Chris Yonker: 00:02:31

I just introduced to a family, this past week and I was talking to one

Chris Yonker: 00:02:34

of the family members this morning and I said, really what you want is

Chris Yonker: 00:02:40

a higher level of peace of mind, and, so that you can enjoy your life at a

Chris Yonker: 00:02:45

higher level be so wrapped up and you know the pain you're experiencing,

Chris Yonker: 00:02:51

if you will, around your pending

Tim Winders: 00:02:55

I think the reason that is, so cool how you responded is because

Tim Winders: 00:03:00

as someone who, some in some ways we have similar titles, I guess executive

Tim Winders: 00:03:04

coach, leadership coach, whatever.

Tim Winders: 00:03:06

And so when we talk to people about what we do, sometimes it, there's

Tim Winders: 00:03:10

tangible things, but like you just said, there's all these intangibles.

Tim Winders: 00:03:17

But I think those intangibles, it's really what, it's what it's all about and I

Tim Winders: 00:03:23

think it's so many times for me, maybe for you, I'm gonna ask it as a question.

Tim Winders: 00:03:28

It's really hard to communicate those intangibles.

Tim Winders: 00:03:33

Do you see that?

Chris Yonker: 00:03:34

yeah.

Chris Yonker: 00:03:34

That's a, it's a really good question.

Chris Yonker: 00:03:37

So what and we experience our reality through our census, right?

Chris Yonker: 00:03:42

and so what I'll, I contextualize and fact last sat the same person this morning.

Chris Yonker: 00:03:49

I asked, I said, let's.

Chris Yonker: 00:03:51

Let's pretend that we, let's pretend that we work together and then I work

Chris Yonker: 00:03:54

with you and your family and let's just put ourselves out in our timeline.

Chris Yonker: 00:03:58

Out into, out, out in December, and it's wrapping up the end of

Chris Yonker: 00:04:03

the year and you've, as you look around you, what do you see?

Chris Yonker: 00:04:10

What do you hear, what do you feel?

Chris Yonker: 00:04:13

What are you experiencing that's changed over today?

Chris Yonker: 00:04:19

That if you said, boy, I am so glad we worked with Chris and

Chris Yonker: 00:04:23

his team and this is now what I'm witnessing, that's changed in my life.

Tim Winders: 00:04:30

And.

Tim Winders: 00:04:31

And so really what you're looking at is if there's like a baseline,

Tim Winders: 00:04:35

what is it, what's different now?

Tim Winders: 00:04:38

And I also, I hate to keep revisiting the timeframe of 2021

Tim Winders: 00:04:44

to 2020, late 2022 or whatever.

Tim Winders: 00:04:49

But have you noticed, cuz I know you've been doing this for a while, have you

Tim Winders: 00:04:52

noticed a significant difference in the way people respond to that as we

Tim Winders: 00:05:01

went into a covid and now post covid environment, that it's just really

Tim Winders: 00:05:05

thrown gas on the fire or made it hyper, made people more hyper aware of it?

Tim Winders: 00:05:09

what's been your observations going through that?

Tim Winders: 00:05:11

Because I've seen so many changes in myself and others.

Tim Winders: 00:05:14

What are you seeing?

Chris Yonker: 00:05:15

and the first thing, especially for, and I work with people

Chris Yonker: 00:05:17

internationally, so there's, depends on a little bit of a, for some folks it's, I'll

Chris Yonker: 00:05:23

speak more for the western world, mo more.

Chris Yonker: 00:05:25

Most of my clients are, it's, we got, and we don't really talk about our mortality

Chris Yonker: 00:05:33

and there's a few things in life, right?

Chris Yonker: 00:05:36

Our mortality and change, the two things that we resist the most

Chris Yonker: 00:05:40

typically are inevitable, that we all are going to experience.

Chris Yonker: 00:05:44

There's always gonna be change right there.

Chris Yonker: 00:05:46

There's I the idea around impermanence and also all going to die.

Chris Yonker: 00:05:51

We don't know when it is.

Chris Yonker: 00:05:54

with C O V I D was like, wow, it is real.

Chris Yonker: 00:06:02

It was like, and remember, the vivid you to go back and say, what did you

Chris Yonker: 00:06:04

experience, what do you remember?

Chris Yonker: 00:06:05

It was like, New York, you, I have friends and I'm sure you did too

Chris Yonker: 00:06:09

in New York City and, craziness.

Chris Yonker: 00:06:11

And then like I, we actually knew someone who had kids in New York City.

Chris Yonker: 00:06:17

they're young adults, but I call them they're kids, right?

Chris Yonker: 00:06:20

And they came up here to New Hampshire.

Chris Yonker: 00:06:22

He got it.

Chris Yonker: 00:06:22

He died.

Chris Yonker: 00:06:23

He was in his fifties.

Chris Yonker: 00:06:24

And we're like, this is our backyard, right?

Chris Yonker: 00:06:26

Like the first couple months.

Chris Yonker: 00:06:27

And we're like, holy crap.

Chris Yonker: 00:06:28

this is, like, when you experience something like that and then you're,

Chris Yonker: 00:06:31

and and granted I'm not a huge fan of the media cuz I never really truly

Chris Yonker: 00:06:35

know what all is real and not, and I don't like other people to think for

Chris Yonker: 00:06:39

me, I like to think for myself, but regardless, there's still some le I,

Chris Yonker: 00:06:43

we actually, I did have friends who had friends in hospitals in New York

Chris Yonker: 00:06:47

to verify that, their bodies building up and there were like that was real.

Chris Yonker: 00:06:51

And, that's a reminder and you cannot deny that reminder.

Chris Yonker: 00:06:57

And the fact that something that you might work around or, try to,

Chris Yonker: 00:07:03

try not to spend a lot of time, someone passes, you want to, it's the

Chris Yonker: 00:07:06

funniest damn thing in our society.

Chris Yonker: 00:07:09

But my experience has been, We gotta have the funeral and get the damn

Chris Yonker: 00:07:11

thing over with and get it behind me as soon as possible, right?

Chris Yonker: 00:07:14

So I can get back with my life.

Chris Yonker: 00:07:16

Whatever the hell that means, I'm gonna get back to it.

Chris Yonker: 00:07:17

I'm gonna get back into my life now.

Chris Yonker: 00:07:20

so I can, in essence, in some cases I wanna get back to my sleepwalking

Chris Yonker: 00:07:23

that I'm, cuz I, I think these events can be experiences to wake up and

Chris Yonker: 00:07:27

realize that perhaps you can step out of the movie and think about the

Chris Yonker: 00:07:33

movie that you're in instead of just participating without thinking about it.

Chris Yonker: 00:07:37

so that, I think that the, the answer to your question, from my perspective is I

Chris Yonker: 00:07:42

think that's the biggest vantage point.

Chris Yonker: 00:07:43

And then also I think the other experience that we had is as we forced to

Chris Yonker: 00:07:47

everywhere, see if it happened even more.

Chris Yonker: 00:07:49

I'm like in Asia where people are just can't go anywhere.

Chris Yonker: 00:07:52

you're locked in, no one's coming in, no one's going out.

Chris Yonker: 00:07:55

you are who you are, and you're gonna spend time with these

Chris Yonker: 00:07:57

people called your family and.

Chris Yonker: 00:08:01

whoa, this is cool.

Chris Yonker: 00:08:02

I'm gonna go for a walk and not feel guilty about it.

Chris Yonker: 00:08:05

Cuz everyone else is doing that at one o'clock in the afternoon.

Chris Yonker: 00:08:07

this is groovy.

Chris Yonker: 00:08:08

the, it truly people outside Again, another experience to wake

Chris Yonker: 00:08:12

up outside of the realm, outside the running, running, running.

Chris Yonker: 00:08:15

Go, go, go, go, go.

Chris Yonker: 00:08:15

Busy, busy, busy, busy contest.

Chris Yonker: 00:08:17

Who's busy?

Chris Yonker: 00:08:17

Are you busy?

Chris Yonker: 00:08:18

I'm busy.

Chris Yonker: 00:08:18

Oh my God.

Chris Yonker: 00:08:18

How are you?

Chris Yonker: 00:08:19

Busy.

Chris Yonker: 00:08:19

I bet you're busy, huh?

Chris Yonker: 00:08:20

I mean that, that conversation and slowed everything down to say, hey,

Chris Yonker: 00:08:28

we can actually time together, we can actually connect and, I do value my life.

Chris Yonker: 00:08:34

I do value my health.

Chris Yonker: 00:08:35

I do value my family.

Chris Yonker: 00:08:38

perhaps I might have been not a congruent in my behavior in valuing

Chris Yonker: 00:08:46

these things regards to how I participated in my life Perhaps.

Chris Yonker: 00:08:52

I might wanna make a change regard.

Chris Yonker: 00:08:55

So I, for me, that, that was exciting for someone that works a lot with family

Chris Yonker: 00:08:58

businesses to see the amount of folks who, just, say, you know what, maybe I'm

Chris Yonker: 00:09:09

willing to let 10 things go right now make some changes with my business and

Chris Yonker: 00:09:13

my family, or whatever that looks like.

Chris Yonker: 00:09:15

Or in some cases, I had a lot of, last three years, I've had a lot

Chris Yonker: 00:09:18

of exit business, people who are just privately held companies.

Chris Yonker: 00:09:21

I work with the founder and owner.

Chris Yonker: 00:09:23

what are we gonna do?

Chris Yonker: 00:09:23

What's gonna be next?

Chris Yonker: 00:09:24

Or people hire me who just sold their business trying to figure out what am

Chris Yonker: 00:09:26

I gonna do with a place next for me?

Tim Winders: 00:09:29

So the fascinating thing about what you just said, first of

Tim Winders: 00:09:31

all, you triggered a lot of thoughts in my head and the thing you mentioned

Tim Winders: 00:09:35

about people coming to terms or grips with their, the life expectancy and all

Tim Winders: 00:09:42

there, we experienced that during the course of that my father passed away.

Tim Winders: 00:09:47

I.

Tim Winders: 00:09:47

I don't know how many funerals I attended, probably two that were virtual, that

Tim Winders: 00:09:54

were pretty much a horrible experience.

Tim Winders: 00:09:57

it was just really not well done.

Tim Winders: 00:10:00

I looked at somebody's back the whole time.

Tim Winders: 00:10:01

We tried to, but they didn't want people to be there cuz of all, and I get it all.

Tim Winders: 00:10:06

I do think it caused a bit of a, I hate to use this overuse, this

Tim Winders: 00:10:09

word reset, but a reset with things because my father passed away.

Tim Winders: 00:10:14

he actually was diagnosed with dementia right As the pandemic were started.

Tim Winders: 00:10:19

We also believe that the lockdown and things like that kind of accelerated it.

Tim Winders: 00:10:23

We can't prove that, but it just seems like it did.

Tim Winders: 00:10:26

he and mom were boxed in, couldn't go anywhere, things like that.

Tim Winders: 00:10:29

And but the fascinating thing was when he finally passed in December

Tim Winders: 00:10:33

of last year, all of us as a family just said, you know what?

Tim Winders: 00:10:37

He passed on a Thursday night.

Tim Winders: 00:10:39

We don't have to do a service on Saturday.

Tim Winders: 00:10:42

Or Sunday, why don't we wait until the spring?

Tim Winders: 00:10:46

Let's do a celebration of life.

Tim Winders: 00:10:48

it relieves a lot of stress for us, and we could go through the bit of

Tim Winders: 00:10:52

that grieving process and not deny what just happened, like you talked

Tim Winders: 00:10:57

about earlier, I think a lot of people are living superficial lives very.

Tim Winders: 00:11:03

Flesh oriented, what's going to make me happy today?

Tim Winders: 00:11:07

And I want to tie in the title of your book here.

Tim Winders: 00:11:09

We'll talk a little bit more about it later.

Tim Winders: 00:11:11

I've got a couple questions and highlights I want to go through,

Tim Winders: 00:11:13

but when I introduced you earlier, I said the title was Soul Intention.

Tim Winders: 00:11:19

And I wanna make sure the listener or the person watching this, it's

Tim Winders: 00:11:22

s o u l intention, not s o l E.

Tim Winders: 00:11:28

And what I think people have come in touch with, and you just said it just a minute

Tim Winders: 00:11:32

ago, is I think they're really looking more into their soul and seeing what's

Tim Winders: 00:11:38

my core values, what's important to me?

Tim Winders: 00:11:40

Not just what society says, not what the media, you brought

Tim Winders: 00:11:43

up the media and we could.

Tim Winders: 00:11:45

I don't care which side people are on, we don't need to be parking

Tim Winders: 00:11:49

our brains with the media giants and saying, what do you believe?

Tim Winders: 00:11:52

I should think so, I think that was really awesome.

Tim Winders: 00:11:55

so let's tie in.

Tim Winders: 00:11:56

We don't back away from spiritual stuff here and throughout your book

Tim Winders: 00:12:00

you brought up, you had some scripture, you had some eastern type stuff.

Tim Winders: 00:12:04

You had a lot of stuff in there, which, which I think is cool.

Tim Winders: 00:12:07

But let's go ahead and bring in the power of the spiritual aspect

Tim Winders: 00:12:13

to all that we've seen gone on and really all about who we are.

Tim Winders: 00:12:17

And I'll just bring it up that way and you just share whatever

Tim Winders: 00:12:19

you want to related to that.

Chris Yonker: 00:12:21

Yeah.

Chris Yonker: 00:12:21

when I privately work with someone, we're gonna dig into two questions,

Chris Yonker: 00:12:30

I don't typically tell 'em this on the front side, but you're listening

Chris Yonker: 00:12:34

right now, I guess you'll know.

Chris Yonker: 00:12:36

the first one is, who am I now That's, that, I think these two

Chris Yonker: 00:12:42

questions are quite frankly probably the biggest illusion, some of the

Chris Yonker: 00:12:45

biggest illusions we have, right?

Chris Yonker: 00:12:48

Who am I?

Chris Yonker: 00:12:48

And we can go on and on about that one.

Chris Yonker: 00:12:51

And it is some people might answer that, identify as a role I play in my life.

Chris Yonker: 00:12:56

Which is not who you are,

Tim Winders: 00:12:57

Or title, or a simple title,

Chris Yonker: 00:13:00

A title.

Chris Yonker: 00:13:00

Yeah.

Chris Yonker: 00:13:01

So these are

Tim Winders: 00:13:01

right?

Chris Yonker: 00:13:02

labels.

Chris Yonker: 00:13:03

human language is, is, I'm, I was trained in neurolinguistics programming,

Chris Yonker: 00:13:08

and became a PR practitioner.

Chris Yonker: 00:13:09

Practitioner.

Chris Yonker: 00:13:10

And my, mentor had always said that, the human language is the, is I was

Chris Yonker: 00:13:13

like a Bandler quote I think the biggest transfer is cuz it really, think about it.

Chris Yonker: 00:13:17

Our language creates our reality.

Chris Yonker: 00:13:19

We associate everything.

Chris Yonker: 00:13:20

And there are, as there's probably languages that don't even have

Chris Yonker: 00:13:24

words in them, like shame or guilt.

Chris Yonker: 00:13:28

how is that possible, right?

Chris Yonker: 00:13:30

Isn't it?

Chris Yonker: 00:13:30

Wouldn't that be interesting that now even know what that construct is?

Chris Yonker: 00:13:33

But that's sideline.

Chris Yonker: 00:13:35

But who am I?

Chris Yonker: 00:13:36

Who am I?

Chris Yonker: 00:13:39

And then the other question I ask people to sit with I'll talk about sitting with

Chris Yonker: 00:13:42

too, what I mean by that is why am I here?

Chris Yonker: 00:13:48

And that question sometimes to go into, how's the world work?

Chris Yonker: 00:13:53

And people might start thinking about like that, the whole

Chris Yonker: 00:13:55

process of life in general.

Chris Yonker: 00:13:56

Like, why am I here, Simpson?

Chris Yonker: 00:13:59

And they're questions that I believe the answers can change throughout our lives.

Chris Yonker: 00:14:05

Also, our perspective may change on those and we should be open to that.

Chris Yonker: 00:14:09

But I don't, on my, when I work with folks and we're doing vision work,

Chris Yonker: 00:14:15

built this hierarchy fulfillment.

Chris Yonker: 00:14:17

And at the base of that, the first faith of the foundation is spirituality.

Chris Yonker: 00:14:23

It's my context to.

Chris Yonker: 00:14:26

And my book in chapter three, which I wrote that book a while, continue think

Chris Yonker: 00:14:29

thinking about revising it, but just not feeling called to do so right now.

Chris Yonker: 00:14:32

But cause a lot of what I've thought about at that time has changed a

Chris Yonker: 00:14:36

little, not bad, but just re revised.

Chris Yonker: 00:14:38

But, but that chapter three, I remember the chapter number and I remember it

Chris Yonker: 00:14:41

was my most fav i the most important to me, the most important part of the book.

Chris Yonker: 00:14:46

Cause there's a relationship to something beyond ourselves.

Chris Yonker: 00:14:48

And I kind of question folks I, cause I had some clients and one in particular

Chris Yonker: 00:14:51

I can think of who is, was a celebrity profile client had, very big follow,

Chris Yonker: 00:14:59

in fact had two different names though.

Chris Yonker: 00:15:01

One name was the name that you and I would know.

Chris Yonker: 00:15:03

And another name was the name that everyone else knew.

Chris Yonker: 00:15:06

And so that creates a little bit of

Chris Yonker: 00:15:07

a

Chris Yonker: 00:15:08

conflict on who I am.

Chris Yonker: 00:15:09

that's for sure.

Chris Yonker: 00:15:10

But also, they were very much, they were unhappy.

Chris Yonker: 00:15:15

they're, they got, they referred to me cuz they're, they were just,

Chris Yonker: 00:15:18

Having a hard time producing.

Chris Yonker: 00:15:20

They're a creative person and their part of their work was around creativity and

Chris Yonker: 00:15:23

they're let's call it writing music.

Chris Yonker: 00:15:25

And and but that really was a problem, right?

Chris Yonker: 00:15:28

the problem wasn't like, oh, how, come with strategies and be more creative.

Chris Yonker: 00:15:31

Let's find a way that's, let's gotta get a little much deeper than that.

Chris Yonker: 00:15:35

And needless to say, there's a lot of trauma from the past that we had to

Chris Yonker: 00:15:39

get into, that was holding them where they were in their frame point of

Chris Yonker: 00:15:43

who they were and why they were here.

Chris Yonker: 00:15:46

And once we shifted those things, their lives totally, everything shifted, right?

Chris Yonker: 00:15:53

and, but that's where the work really needed to go.

Chris Yonker: 00:15:55

And you say, how did we learn that stuff?

Chris Yonker: 00:15:56

comes from society, it comes from our parents, it comes from the people,

Chris Yonker: 00:15:59

whoever we let into our world.

Chris Yonker: 00:16:02

But there's a, there's an opportunity to really explore this relationship.

Chris Yonker: 00:16:07

Was something beyond ourselves.

Chris Yonker: 00:16:09

And anyway, so this person I did not was Aian Athe atheist.

Chris Yonker: 00:16:14

And I'm a salesperson.

Chris Yonker: 00:16:17

I started in sales in 1993, at 3 92 at 3m.

Chris Yonker: 00:16:20

When I got hired in sales, I worked there for over 25 years before I left.

Chris Yonker: 00:16:24

And so I have a sales background, which has been very beneficial to me.

Chris Yonker: 00:16:28

so thought, what's the benefit of not believing in?

Chris Yonker: 00:16:32

And what, what would be the benefit of believing?

Chris Yonker: 00:16:34

Like it was just, let's just go there.

Chris Yonker: 00:16:35

let's, and so anyway, I, we got to a point where they were

Chris Yonker: 00:16:40

willing to think differently.

Chris Yonker: 00:16:41

Like, well, how's it, And I had another person, that was part of

Chris Yonker: 00:16:45

an organization I was working with.

Chris Yonker: 00:16:47

And they had, they've, they was the kind of person where there's, this stuff

Chris Yonker: 00:16:50

happens to them, crisis after crisis.

Chris Yonker: 00:16:52

And the last crisis that ended up happening was he went down to.

Chris Yonker: 00:16:58

It's when the islands got married and, he was, they were out having

Chris Yonker: 00:17:04

got married, having a great time.

Chris Yonker: 00:17:07

He was with his best man, his best friend his whole life.

Chris Yonker: 00:17:11

And his wife was there and his best man and a couple of the people,

Chris Yonker: 00:17:14

wedding party and the bridesmaids.

Chris Yonker: 00:17:16

And they were just, they just had his little private, intimate ceremony, just

Chris Yonker: 00:17:18

beautiful, the beach, everything else.

Chris Yonker: 00:17:20

Why not had some drinks?

Chris Yonker: 00:17:21

This happened, just a ball.

Chris Yonker: 00:17:23

And his friend stepped out off the curb got ran over by a bus.

Chris Yonker: 00:17:29

Think about that.

Chris Yonker: 00:17:30

Boom, right there in front of him.

Chris Yonker: 00:17:34

Seconds later, he is holding his friend said, and his

Chris Yonker: 00:17:36

hand like this is legit, man.

Chris Yonker: 00:17:38

You can't make this stuff up.

Chris Yonker: 00:17:40

And the owner of that business out to me.

Chris Yonker: 00:17:45

I was actually on vacation I told my clients there's every emergency.

Chris Yonker: 00:17:50

this is, to me, this isn't, this is a situation like, he's dude, this happened.

Chris Yonker: 00:17:54

He is like in a really bad place and he needs to talk us.

Chris Yonker: 00:17:57

Like he needs to, I don't know what to do.

Chris Yonker: 00:17:59

I said, all right, I'll call him.

Chris Yonker: 00:18:01

So I did, and I still remember I was, we were in Grand Cayman and

Chris Yonker: 00:18:05

remember the, I was sitting in the hotel room calling this guy and me

Chris Yonker: 00:18:08

all the story and everything else.

Chris Yonker: 00:18:10

And he is and he was like so mad he didn't have any faith structure.

Chris Yonker: 00:18:14

And I'm like, man, this is the time.

Chris Yonker: 00:18:19

I would, I would say that this is a probably a really good

Chris Yonker: 00:18:22

time perhaps to start one.

Chris Yonker: 00:18:24

Cuz I don't know if you can get through this alone.

Chris Yonker: 00:18:27

don't think you can get to this alone.

Chris Yonker: 00:18:28

And so the fact, the matter is that I said let's do this.

Chris Yonker: 00:18:33

Why don't you just do this second and give you homework assign.

Chris Yonker: 00:18:37

It's why don't you just.

Chris Yonker: 00:18:41

Pray to, or however you would say, if God, if you're okay with that

Chris Yonker: 00:18:44

word, pray to God it's God if you're really there, can you give me a sign?

Chris Yonker: 00:18:47

And I'm like, I'm gonna go on, I'm gonna go on some faith here myself.

Chris Yonker: 00:18:50

Because I don't, I know I, this guy's a, he is, he's a bit skeptical now,

Chris Yonker: 00:18:53

so I don't know it's gonna happen.

Chris Yonker: 00:18:56

And and I don't remember exactly what transpired to the detail, but

Chris Yonker: 00:19:00

more or less what happened was, it was a realistic, weird situation.

Chris Yonker: 00:19:04

He had just gotten back and he was driving down the expressway and the

Chris Yonker: 00:19:10

bus that ran over was like a smaller bus and whatev, it was like a full

Chris Yonker: 00:19:14

size, but it was like a, good size one.

Chris Yonker: 00:19:16

there was a broken bust, same color on a trailer bed on the expressway right

Chris Yonker: 00:19:21

next to him on, literally like the next, that day after we had that exercise, he

Chris Yonker: 00:19:26

was like, and then also a song came on the radio that day was also something

Chris Yonker: 00:19:31

they played at the, so it was Bang.

Chris Yonker: 00:19:33

He was like, I just, the odds of these things, like I just, I don't know.

Chris Yonker: 00:19:38

I'm like, what if it was now what?

Chris Yonker: 00:19:43

And it opens up a container for possibility.

Chris Yonker: 00:19:47

And if we can get out of the place of, cuz if we think you're in control, I think

Chris Yonker: 00:19:56

we've got our challenge on our hands.

Chris Yonker: 00:19:57

Now.

Chris Yonker: 00:19:57

I'm not saying that we don't have authority and we

Chris Yonker: 00:19:59

don't, God gave us choice.

Chris Yonker: 00:20:01

have the choice what we think and what we do.

Chris Yonker: 00:20:04

We, that was the gift he gave us.

Chris Yonker: 00:20:07

So we do have, we have that, but we don't have full control

Chris Yonker: 00:20:10

and autonomy over everything.

Chris Yonker: 00:20:11

And if I think you do, you're nuts.

Chris Yonker: 00:20:12

But there's a, I invite people into this idea of what if we can

Chris Yonker: 00:20:16

co-create our reality on, on, on a field that's built on purpose?

Chris Yonker: 00:20:21

So that's where I was going with that sole intention.

Tim Winders: 00:20:25

The reason that I think that is so interesting to me is that.

Tim Winders: 00:20:30

I've recently written some things in a novel that I wrote and the main character

Tim Winders: 00:20:33

was going through somewhat of a soul searching, just as you've mentioned.

Tim Winders: 00:20:38

And the thing that I used to define faith was very similar to what you

Tim Winders: 00:20:43

just said, and that is, Really, this is the way I'm wording it.

Tim Winders: 00:20:47

Just for quick reference, understanding that the world doesn't revolve around you.

Tim Winders: 00:20:51

That there's always something bigger than just you, because I think

Tim Winders: 00:20:55

you brought up that word control.

Tim Winders: 00:20:56

I think many high achievers, many people that are successful in business,

Tim Winders: 00:21:00

and I'll use air quotes, successful because I think success is relative.

Tim Winders: 00:21:04

That's why we redefine what success means quite a bit here, because

Tim Winders: 00:21:08

often it's not what we think it is.

Tim Winders: 00:21:11

it, it's really just having the perspective of there is something

Tim Winders: 00:21:14

in this world bigger than me.

Tim Winders: 00:21:16

and listen, if we're talking to someone who's hardcore into the ministry or

Tim Winders: 00:21:20

something, they don't quite get this.

Tim Winders: 00:21:22

They think, oh, we need to be talking about, throw a scripture at 'em, tell 'em

Tim Winders: 00:21:25

all about Jesus Christ, blah, blah, blah.

Tim Winders: 00:21:27

I'm going, yeah, I get that, but.

Tim Winders: 00:21:30

They're not ready for that.

Tim Winders: 00:21:31

They just need to understand that the world doesn't revolve around me.

Tim Winders: 00:21:34

I needed to know that when I was coming along because I really did think

Tim Winders: 00:21:39

that the world revolved around me and that I had a high degree of control.

Tim Winders: 00:21:44

And like you said, we do have authority.

Tim Winders: 00:21:45

We do have the ability to do things, we can speak things.

Tim Winders: 00:21:48

And there's N L P program, there's all these things that are

Tim Winders: 00:21:51

great, but at the end of the day, we're part of a bigger picture.

Tim Winders: 00:21:56

and I love how you brought that up and I do want to come back to some other

Tim Winders: 00:22:00

things related to the book shortly in just a moment, but there's something

Tim Winders: 00:22:04

that's been rolling around in my head that I wanna make sure that we clarify

Tim Winders: 00:22:08

and maybe get a few items related to that.

Tim Winders: 00:22:11

You work, primarily with family businesses and so I'd love for you

Tim Winders: 00:22:17

to say a couple things about that.

Tim Winders: 00:22:19

I've been a part of a family business that did very well and then disintegrated.

Tim Winders: 00:22:25

and I know that there's some uniqueness to all of that.

Tim Winders: 00:22:28

I've actually got some clients that have family business where husband

Tim Winders: 00:22:32

and wife work together, or there's some siblings and things like that.

Tim Winders: 00:22:35

But tell me Mo, because that's, I don't think that's your only niche,

Tim Winders: 00:22:38

but that's your primary niche.

Tim Winders: 00:22:39

Would that be correct?

Chris Yonker: 00:22:41

Yeah.

Chris Yonker: 00:22:41

I, it's probably 75% of the work that we're doing.

Chris Yonker: 00:22:44

but it's not, yeah.

Chris Yonker: 00:22:46

I would say a almost a hundred percent of our work and 90% of our work is

Chris Yonker: 00:22:50

privately held companies, period.

Chris Yonker: 00:22:53

And then a majority of that, two-thirds of three quarters is family held businesses.

Chris Yonker: 00:22:57

because I I ended up finding me and then I pursued getting, become an FFI certified

Chris Yonker: 00:23:04

family business advisor and understanding governance and things that would help me,

Chris Yonker: 00:23:08

work with families at a much higher level.

Chris Yonker: 00:23:11

yes.

Tim Winders: 00:23:13

so let's start with one thing that would be, I think, basic and

Tim Winders: 00:23:16

foundational for someone that might be listening, that might be a family business

Tim Winders: 00:23:20

owner, and then someone who may not, what are the biggest differences in privately

Tim Winders: 00:23:26

held family type business versus.

Tim Winders: 00:23:31

I don't even know how to, non-family type business or even something that's a little

Tim Winders: 00:23:35

more, it's, they've got investors or it's not privately held or something like that.

Tim Winders: 00:23:39

Just give a contrast to understand the things we need to understand.

Chris Yonker: 00:23:42

Okay, so let's look at three, maybe three

Chris Yonker: 00:23:44

different vantage points.

Chris Yonker: 00:23:45

So you got one, you got corporate America.

Chris Yonker: 00:23:47

Okay.

Chris Yonker: 00:23:48

Corporate America, to me is where I came from.

Chris Yonker: 00:23:50

3m, company that is publicly held, they're stock owners or it

Chris Yonker: 00:23:56

could be a private equity company.

Chris Yonker: 00:23:58

Okay.

Chris Yonker: 00:23:58

So it's where there's, where in essence someone is looking and defining success by

Chris Yonker: 00:24:05

a bottom line and a quarterly objective.

Chris Yonker: 00:24:09

That's typically, I'm narrowing the scope here, but that's typically

Chris Yonker: 00:24:13

the experience, my experience working at corporate America even.

Chris Yonker: 00:24:15

And I've done some consulting projects when I have one right

Chris Yonker: 00:24:18

now with a multi-billion dollar company that we're working with.

Chris Yonker: 00:24:21

And my experience when working with these large organizations is,

Chris Yonker: 00:24:25

outside of their bureaucracy, is that there's a lot more bureaucracy.

Chris Yonker: 00:24:30

And also at the end of the day, my experience has been, That decisions are

Chris Yonker: 00:24:37

being made on what's gonna be best for stock performance, quarter to quarter,

Chris Yonker: 00:24:42

now, what's best for the customer now, what's best for the employee?

Chris Yonker: 00:24:45

And that's what's best for the, for the world at large.

Chris Yonker: 00:24:47

It's what's best for the, on our earnings and how we report.

Chris Yonker: 00:24:50

Now, not saying they don't have any integrity, that's not that point.

Chris Yonker: 00:24:53

It's just that we talk about values, we take, you do the same work.

Chris Yonker: 00:24:57

we define core values.

Chris Yonker: 00:24:59

We unpack core values.

Chris Yonker: 00:25:01

So when someone can embody them, not just talk about them, but then

Chris Yonker: 00:25:04

also we stack rank them, right?

Chris Yonker: 00:25:06

And then we wanna deliver an integrity to what we stack rank.

Chris Yonker: 00:25:08

And from my experience, the decisions are always being made was around what's gonna,

Chris Yonker: 00:25:14

what's gonna drive the bottom line, what's gonna make stock look the best period.

Chris Yonker: 00:25:19

So that's my experience with corporate America.

Chris Yonker: 00:25:20

And why we don't do a lot of work there, but we do just some, the

Tim Winders: 00:25:24

1, 1, 1 quick, one quick pause for you there, Chris.

Tim Winders: 00:25:27

I'm very similar.

Tim Winders: 00:25:30

I came from corporate America.

Tim Winders: 00:25:31

I worked there about 10 years, and I have found that the work, it's good work.

Tim Winders: 00:25:39

It, it pays.

Tim Winders: 00:25:40

There's usually, I'll just say it this way, there's usually an extra zero

Tim Winders: 00:25:44

or so on the tail end of the fees.

Tim Winders: 00:25:47

And this kind of speaks to my core values.

Tim Winders: 00:25:49

It sounds like you're similar, is that it's harder to have an impact

Chris Yonker: 00:25:54

Is

Tim Winders: 00:25:55

because of the structure and again, not saying

Tim Winders: 00:25:57

good or bad, it just is what it is.

Tim Winders: 00:25:59

And I've gotten to where I shy away from it because at the end of

Tim Winders: 00:26:02

the day I've gotten a bigger check and I'm not, I'm not trying to act

Tim Winders: 00:26:06

real virtuous or anything here.

Tim Winders: 00:26:07

It's just I don't feel as if I, and the work that we've done have

Tim Winders: 00:26:11

accomplished and made as much of an impact as I think these next two

Tim Winders: 00:26:15

areas you're about to share with us.

Tim Winders: 00:26:17

That's been my observation.

Chris Yonker: 00:26:18

Yeah.

Chris Yonker: 00:26:19

It's, and we, you're talking about, it's like I, you and I wanna drive

Chris Yonker: 00:26:21

transformation, if we're working with an owner of a business that can make

Chris Yonker: 00:26:26

decisions tomorrow, and have a larger impact on their, the buying clients, they

Chris Yonker: 00:26:31

care about their employees, they care about their clients, they care about the

Chris Yonker: 00:26:35

legacy of their business and the impact of their business on the greater whole.

Chris Yonker: 00:26:39

And they don't necessarily stack rank any of those things.

Chris Yonker: 00:26:41

those are all really important to them.

Chris Yonker: 00:26:43

It's, and sometimes they may even lose money to do what's

Chris Yonker: 00:26:47

better for the environment.

Chris Yonker: 00:26:48

At times, they might do what's better for the employee than what's

Chris Yonker: 00:26:51

better for their own pocketbook.

Chris Yonker: 00:26:52

during Covid, we lost half of our business because we were working with smaller

Chris Yonker: 00:26:58

clients at the time that the different portfolio and the clients that we were

Chris Yonker: 00:27:02

working with, they were really impacted.

Chris Yonker: 00:27:03

They're shutting down.

Chris Yonker: 00:27:04

They weren't operating so, I kept my staff.

Chris Yonker: 00:27:08

that'd be two my 10 90 nines.

Chris Yonker: 00:27:10

I didn't cut anyone's hours.

Chris Yonker: 00:27:11

I just cut mine.

Chris Yonker: 00:27:11

I didn't pay myself, I just paid everyone else, right?

Chris Yonker: 00:27:15

So like that there wasn't, I didn't even in question, I didn't

Chris Yonker: 00:27:17

doing anything differently.

Chris Yonker: 00:27:19

But that's, that's just a, held business owners will do things like that.

Chris Yonker: 00:27:23

and the same corporate people are bad.

Chris Yonker: 00:27:25

Don't get me wrong though.

Chris Yonker: 00:27:26

I gotta listening.

Chris Yonker: 00:27:26

that's that.

Chris Yonker: 00:27:27

This has been my experience working with a lot of them.

Chris Yonker: 00:27:29

the privately held space is someone owns a business, they started the

Chris Yonker: 00:27:33

business, or could be, their parents owned it, they bought 'em out, could they

Chris Yonker: 00:27:36

bought the business from someone else.

Chris Yonker: 00:27:37

Could be any of these things.

Chris Yonker: 00:27:39

but they're, I work with a business owner.

Chris Yonker: 00:27:41

I don't typically, once in a while I'll do leadership projects and I, if I'm working

Chris Yonker: 00:27:45

with leadership projects, it's with the executive team on 90% of the time.

Chris Yonker: 00:27:49

time to time I'll get further down in the organization, but we like

Chris Yonker: 00:27:51

to work with the owner and or the executive team cuz we want to have

Chris Yonker: 00:27:56

the most impact we can period.

Chris Yonker: 00:27:59

so that, that's where that, that lines up on the family business side.

Chris Yonker: 00:28:02

And my definition of family goes, this is when you have two or more people

Chris Yonker: 00:28:06

are in a family that have ownership and or involvement in the family business.

Chris Yonker: 00:28:12

and it can be, can look a lot differently and different.

Chris Yonker: 00:28:14

I have one family I'm working with where I'm nobody in the family works in the

Chris Yonker: 00:28:19

business and it's a million company and no one in the family works in the

Chris Yonker: 00:28:25

business, but they all have the ownership.

Chris Yonker: 00:28:27

Okay.

Chris Yonker: 00:28:27

They have a board, they have a c, a, non-family, c, e o, those things.

Chris Yonker: 00:28:32

And they have control, but you know that the, they can look that way.

Chris Yonker: 00:28:37

but typically what it happens, there's a, it's, this.

Chris Yonker: 00:28:39

a typically taught in family business advising.

Chris Yonker: 00:28:42

It's like the three circle model where you got a family member, you

Chris Yonker: 00:28:45

got a business owner, and then you got someone who is in the business.

Chris Yonker: 00:28:49

And these three circles can overlap and they can interlock

Chris Yonker: 00:28:51

all different crazy ways.

Chris Yonker: 00:28:53

that's where it gets a little complicated because you got family dynamics then you

Chris Yonker: 00:28:58

got business dynamics and now they're all playing in mix in a business.

Chris Yonker: 00:29:05

And it can get You take dysfunction in a family and there already

Chris Yonker: 00:29:10

can be dysfunction in a business and they get them involved.

Chris Yonker: 00:29:13

It can be, it's something that I've found that a lot of people, they

Chris Yonker: 00:29:17

work around the problems that exist.

Chris Yonker: 00:29:20

The, there, oh, there's a conflict here, there's heat here, or there's,

Chris Yonker: 00:29:25

we just did a webinar on this.

Chris Yonker: 00:29:26

it was a imitation only, but it was on, for family business owners

Chris Yonker: 00:29:30

and advisors and family space.

Chris Yonker: 00:29:31

And it was just really around difficult.

Chris Yonker: 00:29:34

People and family businesses and how, what do you, how do you manage that?

Chris Yonker: 00:29:37

and so that was, we had a whole, very engaging conversation.

Chris Yonker: 00:29:40

It was a lot of fun.

Chris Yonker: 00:29:41

But, it's the stuff that it, a stuff that people like to

Chris Yonker: 00:29:43

work around where I like to go.

Chris Yonker: 00:29:46

cause I that I wanna drive, I really wanna drive change and I wanna help people heal

Tim Winders: 00:29:50

One thing that's interesting to me is I've dealt with from personal

Tim Winders: 00:29:54

standpoint business, but also a few clients that would be family and I think

Tim Winders: 00:29:59

something that I've observed, and I definitely don't have the reps that you

Tim Winders: 00:30:01

have in this world, is this word loyalty starts creeping in, in a weird way, in

Tim Winders: 00:30:08

that people believe that blood, blood thicker than water, whatever, all this,

Tim Winders: 00:30:13

whatever the saying is that there is this.

Tim Winders: 00:30:17

Loyalty that comes in because it's family.

Tim Winders: 00:30:20

But I've taken loyalty and flipped it around.

Tim Winders: 00:30:23

I'll just mention this and you could respond, yeah, that sounds

Tim Winders: 00:30:26

good, or no, here's my thoughts.

Tim Winders: 00:30:27

But I really see that loyalty is healthy.

Tim Winders: 00:30:31

When someone, going back to the spiritual, they've got a loyalty

Tim Winders: 00:30:34

to something bigger than them.

Tim Winders: 00:30:36

They've got a loyalty to the organization, they've got a loyalty to either

Tim Winders: 00:30:40

superiors or coworkers, whatever.

Tim Winders: 00:30:42

And then they've also have a loyalty to self, going back

Tim Winders: 00:30:44

to the, who am I question.

Tim Winders: 00:30:47

and I've seen with family business that, that loyalty, even like a husband,

Tim Winders: 00:30:52

wife, I've worked with a couple of husband wife teams that run companies.

Tim Winders: 00:30:57

it does get really odd.

Tim Winders: 00:30:58

I, we don't want anyone handling the money outside of air quotes

Tim Winders: 00:31:02

again, family or stuff like that.

Tim Winders: 00:31:05

So just when I mention the word loyalty related to this, what comes to mind?

Chris Yonker: 00:31:10

Yeah, I think you're, I love where you went with that.

Chris Yonker: 00:31:12

when that word comes up is it's just like you said, the

Chris Yonker: 00:31:17

question you're automatically asking is, what are you loyal to?

Chris Yonker: 00:31:19

What are you loyal to?

Chris Yonker: 00:31:20

what's that mean?

Chris Yonker: 00:31:22

and if you say, I'm loyal, we in the fam one of the things that we'll do in

Chris Yonker: 00:31:27

the family business space, the folks that do the type of work that I do, and

Chris Yonker: 00:31:29

I guess that everyone does, the type of work I do in family business is I'm

Chris Yonker: 00:31:34

looking for the narrative in the family.

Chris Yonker: 00:31:35

When I'm starting to work with a family, I wanna understand what are the beliefs that

Chris Yonker: 00:31:40

family holds so that the, there could be a narrative around loyalty in the family.

Chris Yonker: 00:31:45

Oh, you'll hear it in the express in the language and uncle and my

Chris Yonker: 00:31:49

dad did this and, and whatever.

Chris Yonker: 00:31:51

And family first and I always make notes of these things cause part of where I, I.

Chris Yonker: 00:31:56

At times I might challenge some of these narratives.

Chris Yonker: 00:31:59

If those narratives are no longer serving us, they might have served us up till now.

Chris Yonker: 00:32:03

But if a family really truly wants to transform build long-term continuity

Chris Yonker: 00:32:08

and heal past trauma and adapt for the future, there is an opportunity also at

Chris Yonker: 00:32:13

the same time to possibly establish and even quite frankly, to When I was doing

Chris Yonker: 00:32:21

core value works for so long, and then now recently in the last couple years, I

Chris Yonker: 00:32:25

started doing defining emerging values, now working with NexGens in the room.

Chris Yonker: 00:32:30

what are values we might want to consider for the future?

Chris Yonker: 00:32:33

And that's, it's a very fun, dynamic conversation, Tim, because it.

Chris Yonker: 00:32:39

It's oh, I don't, maybe wellbeing.

Chris Yonker: 00:32:40

it's one that sometimes comes out.

Chris Yonker: 00:32:41

I'm like, that's exciting.

Chris Yonker: 00:32:42

that wasn't exist.

Chris Yonker: 00:32:43

That wellbeing was never a core value to this company for the less 125 years.

Chris Yonker: 00:32:47

In fact, I have a business 125 years, and we have a, we, one of the new

Chris Yonker: 00:32:51

emerging core values that we defined in the last 90 days is wellbeing.

Chris Yonker: 00:32:54

That's one of 'em, which I think is really cool.

Chris Yonker: 00:32:56

Innovation's another one.

Chris Yonker: 00:32:58

And, it's like that's in their industry.

Chris Yonker: 00:33:01

it's, people are thinking the same way for the last 300 years.

Chris Yonker: 00:33:04

So it's, that's exciting too.

Chris Yonker: 00:33:06

So these are possibilities, but yes, loyalty is a can, be dangerous.

Chris Yonker: 00:33:10

but it's really these narratives and beliefs about, how we behave and what

Chris Yonker: 00:33:14

we're trying to hold in integrity.

Chris Yonker: 00:33:16

That, quite frankly, is creating our madness and we don't even

Chris Yonker: 00:33:20

realize it at the same time,

Tim Winders: 00:33:22

Yeah, and I'll ask this and you could go in whatever direction.

Tim Winders: 00:33:26

One of the things, when someone is looking at what you do, there's this

Tim Winders: 00:33:30

aspect of a unique methodology that you use, and you gave us a couple

Tim Winders: 00:33:36

of the questions that you'll ask.

Tim Winders: 00:33:37

If not, Blatantly ask.

Tim Winders: 00:33:39

It's what you're asking in your head, who am I and why am I here?

Tim Winders: 00:33:43

But I guess I want to ask this in the form of a tip or teaching or something that you

Tim Winders: 00:33:48

might could do over the next few minutes, what can you share about your methodology

Tim Winders: 00:33:52

or your process, or what you do that might be helpful for someone sitting here

Tim Winders: 00:33:56

going, man, what's something tangible I could take away from this conversation?

Chris Yonker: 00:33:59

Yeah.

Chris Yonker: 00:34:00

if someone's out, there's listening, they're probably a

Chris Yonker: 00:34:02

highly driven person, is my guess.

Chris Yonker: 00:34:05

They're someone we put into an achiever.

Chris Yonker: 00:34:07

Someone who's, likes to prep hops are competitive and.

Chris Yonker: 00:34:14

Perhaps they might be overscheduled, they might be listening to us on a

Chris Yonker: 00:34:17

treadmill or on a run or whatever, right?

Chris Yonker: 00:34:19

It's if they're doing something else, they're mowing the

Chris Yonker: 00:34:21

lawn or whatever it might be.

Chris Yonker: 00:34:23

Because they like to, not because they can't hire someone

Chris Yonker: 00:34:26

to do it, but they enjoy.

Chris Yonker: 00:34:27

Maybe it's, perhaps it's a, I like to cook, so I guess we all have outlets like

Chris Yonker: 00:34:30

to fish, things we like to do, right?

Chris Yonker: 00:34:32

the first order of business, I think for most folks is to create space.

Chris Yonker: 00:34:42

It's to create space.

Chris Yonker: 00:34:43

And I just started working with a restaurant here,

Chris Yonker: 00:34:46

working 80, 90 hours a week.

Chris Yonker: 00:34:48

I get pretty good sized company and I'm okay, we, here's the

Chris Yonker: 00:34:53

first thing we're gonna do.

Chris Yonker: 00:34:55

We're gonna create space and we're gonna do this busy season.

Chris Yonker: 00:34:58

oh, no.

Chris Yonker: 00:34:58

Yeah, we're gonna, we're gonna find time to do nothing.

Chris Yonker: 00:35:01

I've, and I've given this exercise to people, you're gonna sit.

Chris Yonker: 00:35:05

And do nothing for 10 minutes and you wouldn't believe the resistance.

Chris Yonker: 00:35:09

I may be with Tim that I get, what, 10 minutes?

Chris Yonker: 00:35:12

Yeah.

Chris Yonker: 00:35:12

What am I gonna do?

Chris Yonker: 00:35:13

Yeah, exactly.

Chris Yonker: 00:35:16

I tell people that every month, one of the, one of the things that speak

Chris Yonker: 00:35:19

in the space, I have a, an executive assistant and or first order of business

Chris Yonker: 00:35:23

every month before she books and this onsites are logged out over time.

Chris Yonker: 00:35:28

So those are typically out there.

Chris Yonker: 00:35:29

First thing that happens is vacations.

Chris Yonker: 00:35:30

Like we just book a vacation for Thanksgiving for 2024.

Chris Yonker: 00:35:35

Okay.

Chris Yonker: 00:35:35

Boom.

Chris Yonker: 00:35:35

Block and 20 it's, that's out there.

Chris Yonker: 00:35:37

But it's out there.

Chris Yonker: 00:35:39

credit space for that time, quality time with family.

Chris Yonker: 00:35:44

then the next order of business is, client onsite or speaking

Chris Yonker: 00:35:47

things like that, right?

Chris Yonker: 00:35:49

Then next order of business, and invented family, whatever that might be.

Chris Yonker: 00:35:52

Then the next order of business is, okay, Willa coming into,

Chris Yonker: 00:35:56

let's say it's June 10th, around June 10th, we're gonna into July.

Chris Yonker: 00:36:01

looking at July.

Chris Yonker: 00:36:03

What's Chris's calendar look like?

Chris Yonker: 00:36:04

First thing I must to do, I'm gonna book a float.

Chris Yonker: 00:36:07

He's gonna go sit, lay an salt tank for an hour, right?

Chris Yonker: 00:36:10

With darkness.

Chris Yonker: 00:36:11

And if you've ever done that in temporary deprivation,

Tim Winders: 00:36:14

Yeah.

Chris Yonker: 00:36:14

would be afraid of that.

Chris Yonker: 00:36:15

Speaking of space and time, right?

Chris Yonker: 00:36:17

So blocking an hour for that, an hour for massage.

Chris Yonker: 00:36:19

getting me on the a on the acupuncture table, with the same acupuncture

Chris Yonker: 00:36:23

we've been working with for 20 years.

Chris Yonker: 00:36:24

what else goes in there?

Chris Yonker: 00:36:25

One chiropractor visit.

Chris Yonker: 00:36:27

those four and four things, and then tennis blocks every week.

Chris Yonker: 00:36:31

Those things karate's already in there.

Chris Yonker: 00:36:34

They're already in the calendar, right?

Chris Yonker: 00:36:36

And the day can't start.

Chris Yonker: 00:36:37

I can't do anything.

Chris Yonker: 00:36:38

there's always an hour for business development from

Chris Yonker: 00:36:40

nine to 10, 90% of the time.

Chris Yonker: 00:36:42

these things are already blocked out.

Chris Yonker: 00:36:44

So the space is created intentionally for certain things and for myself.

Chris Yonker: 00:36:49

And what happens for folks is they're so overscheduled.

Chris Yonker: 00:36:52

It's we gotta, sometimes we gotta step back and say, what if?

Chris Yonker: 00:36:54

I've had clients I've worked with that's What if we stop working on Fridays?

Chris Yonker: 00:36:58

What?

Chris Yonker: 00:36:59

Yeah.

Chris Yonker: 00:36:59

What if we did?

Chris Yonker: 00:37:00

I don't know.

Chris Yonker: 00:37:01

You can't do that.

Chris Yonker: 00:37:01

You can't stop working on a Friday or a Friday and a Monday.

Chris Yonker: 00:37:05

I had a client that we did Friday and Monday, and he still grew

Chris Yonker: 00:37:07

his business 25% with no, no.

Chris Yonker: 00:37:10

an implication.

Chris Yonker: 00:37:11

So I'm like, but we don't start there.

Chris Yonker: 00:37:13

Let's just start with 10 minutes.

Chris Yonker: 00:37:14

Can we just sit for 10 minutes?

Chris Yonker: 00:37:15

And then also, I introduce them to some form meditation and or breath work

Chris Yonker: 00:37:21

or pr My wife's trained in pr Yama.

Chris Yonker: 00:37:23

she's a very, seasoned, practitioner.

Chris Yonker: 00:37:25

And yoga I practice as well, but I'm nowhere near trained as her, but I've been

Chris Yonker: 00:37:28

leveraged her and help with the clients.

Chris Yonker: 00:37:30

let's establish some type of space.

Chris Yonker: 00:37:35

if we believe that there's something that's here beyond ourselves,

Chris Yonker: 00:37:40

are we even freaking listening?

Chris Yonker: 00:37:43

are we even listening?

Chris Yonker: 00:37:45

Oh, we're so damn busy and someone's knocking on the door all the time.

Chris Yonker: 00:37:50

How are we gonna co-create?

Chris Yonker: 00:37:52

So just and know, and then if they're really resistant, if you're

Chris Yonker: 00:37:54

out there like really resistant, then let's look at it this way.

Chris Yonker: 00:37:56

probably believe in remote working now.

Chris Yonker: 00:37:58

You believe in exercise, you believe in some type of cardio, and you believe

Chris Yonker: 00:38:01

in some type of strength training.

Chris Yonker: 00:38:02

Most people won't push back on that.

Chris Yonker: 00:38:04

it's necessary.

Chris Yonker: 00:38:05

It's proven, it's scientific.

Chris Yonker: 00:38:07

Okay.

Chris Yonker: 00:38:09

Where do you go to, the gym that you go to for your mind?

Chris Yonker: 00:38:12

Where's the mind gym?

Chris Yonker: 00:38:15

Who teaches you how to run your brain to think your thoughts?

Tim Winders: 00:38:20

And usually you get a blank stare because that's not,

Chris Yonker: 00:38:23

There isn't one.

Tim Winders: 00:38:24

there isn't the way our culture has

Tim Winders: 00:38:26

been built.

Chris Yonker: 00:38:27

I'll okay with you.

Chris Yonker: 00:38:28

Let's do that.

Chris Yonker: 00:38:28

We'll do that.

Chris Yonker: 00:38:29

That's what we're gonna do.

Chris Yonker: 00:38:30

We're gonna bring you in the Mind gym, and I'm gonna give you, I'm gonna give

Chris Yonker: 00:38:32

you a training exercise and then that's a place I can get someone to start.

Tim Winders: 00:38:36

quick question for you.

Tim Winders: 00:38:37

It may not be a quick answer, but a quick question.

Tim Winders: 00:38:40

Have, has Chris always been that way or did you grow into it?

Tim Winders: 00:38:46

Or was there a catalytic event or some life-changing event?

Tim Winders: 00:38:50

we like to talk about redefining success here and.

Tim Winders: 00:38:53

Usually I've observed that something happens that forces

Tim Winders: 00:38:57

people to make a change.

Tim Winders: 00:38:59

It's not always the case, but typically when did, when and why

Tim Winders: 00:39:02

did Chris make this adjustment?

Chris Yonker: 00:39:04

Yeah.

Chris Yonker: 00:39:05

I think it's a, it's probably ongoing, incremental, I found

Chris Yonker: 00:39:10

growing up, it's a whole other story.

Chris Yonker: 00:39:13

I'll go over my story very quickly, but I grew up in a dual alcoholic home

Chris Yonker: 00:39:17

only I have the only child situation.

Chris Yonker: 00:39:20

I had parents that, were alcoholics.

Chris Yonker: 00:39:24

One also had some, addictions to, pain medication.

Chris Yonker: 00:39:29

and then I would say I was mentally abused for a period of time.

Chris Yonker: 00:39:32

Then I was bullied, and then also I was, assaulted by a male babysitter.

Chris Yonker: 00:39:37

So he had that all into the continuum.

Chris Yonker: 00:39:38

I had a lot of, a lot coming at me.

Chris Yonker: 00:39:41

I, I found conversations with God on my, not the book per se, but like the

Chris Yonker: 00:39:45

idea of that young, at a young age.

Chris Yonker: 00:39:48

I grew up in the ca in the Catholicism.

Chris Yonker: 00:39:50

So I, at least I had an understanding of what I, what, and I had to

Chris Yonker: 00:39:53

pursue what that meant for myself.

Chris Yonker: 00:39:55

But so that's where that real is.

Chris Yonker: 00:39:56

But then also I would go to the library and I'd find books like what

Chris Yonker: 00:39:59

to say when you talk to yourself.

Chris Yonker: 00:40:00

I, Chad Helmstetter and I was like 13 years old and I'm like studying

Chris Yonker: 00:40:03

these things and I'm like, oh.

Chris Yonker: 00:40:05

And the more I started realizing about myself, the more my

Chris Yonker: 00:40:07

life, the easier it became.

Chris Yonker: 00:40:09

And so I just became a personal development junkie.

Chris Yonker: 00:40:12

and I studied and read and studied and read.

Chris Yonker: 00:40:14

And then later on got into audios.

Chris Yonker: 00:40:16

And then karate, back in like 1986, I started practicing.

Chris Yonker: 00:40:21

And then that experience created a new reality where I actually was getting

Chris Yonker: 00:40:25

good at something and it started.

Chris Yonker: 00:40:28

I didn't know this at the time, but I started doubting my doubts about

Chris Yonker: 00:40:32

myself because I programmed myself that I wasn't good at shit and that

Chris Yonker: 00:40:35

I, really sucked at everything.

Chris Yonker: 00:40:37

But I'm like, wait a minute.

Chris Yonker: 00:40:37

I'm really good at this though.

Chris Yonker: 00:40:39

But that kind of, so I'm actually in my black belt in college.

Chris Yonker: 00:40:42

It was a huge transformation because I'm like, wait a minute, I'm wearing this.

Chris Yonker: 00:40:46

I feel like an imposter for a period of time, but I still had to

Chris Yonker: 00:40:50

put it on and show up in a class.

Chris Yonker: 00:40:52

And then when I became a sensei and then I had, 30, 40 students, it was, and they're

Chris Yonker: 00:40:57

listening to me and they're adults.

Chris Yonker: 00:40:58

it's created a different experience that started of driving this level of

Chris Yonker: 00:41:02

transformation of what was possible.

Chris Yonker: 00:41:04

And then I hired some amazing coaches, the last 20 something

Chris Yonker: 00:41:07

years, that have helped me.

Chris Yonker: 00:41:09

Cause I can't read that.

Chris Yonker: 00:41:09

I can't read the label on my own bottle.

Tim Winders: 00:41:12

I think that's valuable.

Tim Winders: 00:41:13

And it really goes back to, and I'll ask it this way, it sounds as

Tim Winders: 00:41:18

if what you did was, is you've gone through this process, this journey

Tim Winders: 00:41:22

that we all do, which is answering the questions you brought up earlier.

Tim Winders: 00:41:26

Who am I and why am I here?

Tim Winders: 00:41:29

Is that correct?

Tim Winders: 00:41:29

and I think that's a journey.

Tim Winders: 00:41:31

I don't think it's a destination.

Tim Winders: 00:41:32

we're still doing that.

Tim Winders: 00:41:33

You're still doing it too.

Tim Winders: 00:41:34

Correct.

Chris Yonker: 00:41:34

yeah.

Chris Yonker: 00:41:35

I mean I have clarity today on that answer, but I'm open to if I got Phil

Chris Yonker: 00:41:40

called to do something differently, I knew it was hard to leave at 3M when I did.

Chris Yonker: 00:41:46

it was at a pension 401k, good six figure income, working part-time.

Chris Yonker: 00:41:52

It, literally, it was, I left on my own accord and because I couldn't fully

Chris Yonker: 00:41:58

embrace my purpose being there, like it just wasn't gonna work anymore.

Chris Yonker: 00:42:03

I just had to I gotta go all in.

Chris Yonker: 00:42:06

And you've, I'm sure you've read the work where the, the hospice

Chris Yonker: 00:42:09

worker that interviewed all these people in their deathbeds.

Chris Yonker: 00:42:11

and she, and the number one was I wish I'd, it was along the lines of, I wish I'd

Chris Yonker: 00:42:15

done what I wanted to do, or where I felt called to go instead of listening to other

Chris Yonker: 00:42:20

people or being concerned how other people would think about me doing what I wanted.

Chris Yonker: 00:42:25

Something along that line.

Chris Yonker: 00:42:26

I'm like, I don't, I never want to be that person.

Tim Winders: 00:42:28

I think the cool thing about that, that I'm picking up on, I'm a guy

Tim Winders: 00:42:31

that's sitting here in an RV and my wife and I have been traveling for 10 years

Tim Winders: 00:42:36

living in an ar, living in an RV for the last four, and you're, up in New

Tim Winders: 00:42:40

Hampshire and you've left corporate and, successful coaching, writing, et cetera.

Tim Winders: 00:42:46

I, I, I think the, the lesson that someone should take is find why you are here.

Tim Winders: 00:42:53

Who you are and why you're here, because, my guess is it was part of your journey,

Tim Winders: 00:42:58

but when you were at 3m, you began feeling an extreme tug that's not why you're here.

Chris Yonker: 00:43:05

Yeah, no, I knew I wasn't, but I did a lot of transformation there.

Tim Winders: 00:43:08

It helped.

Tim Winders: 00:43:09

Yeah.

Chris Yonker: 00:43:10

that I, I helped a lot of people moot leave and

Chris Yonker: 00:43:13

I helped people who stayed.

Chris Yonker: 00:43:14

and I helped them figure that out too, which was really cool.

Chris Yonker: 00:43:17

I've always been doing it and tell, finally, coach pointed out to me, you

Chris Yonker: 00:43:20

do this, you're doing this anyway.

Chris Yonker: 00:43:21

I'm like, oh, I'm not a coach a consultant.

Chris Yonker: 00:43:24

You're already doing it.

Chris Yonker: 00:43:25

I'm like, what?

Chris Yonker: 00:43:26

yeah, look at your life.

Chris Yonker: 00:43:27

And I, that was, man, that was about 25 years ago.

Chris Yonker: 00:43:32

I remember that conversation.

Chris Yonker: 00:43:33

it was a while ago.

Chris Yonker: 00:43:34

or 53.

Chris Yonker: 00:43:35

but, I was like, I didn't realize it.

Chris Yonker: 00:43:37

I just had no clue.

Chris Yonker: 00:43:38

This person had to point that out to me.

Chris Yonker: 00:43:39

I'm like, I am doing this, huh?

Chris Yonker: 00:43:41

And I'm like, I never can make the money I wanna make doing this.

Chris Yonker: 00:43:44

Until I started making meeting people that are like, okay, I guess I.

Chris Yonker: 00:43:49

There isn't, if you're good and really good at what you're doing, and

Chris Yonker: 00:43:51

someone explained it, really, it was, there's a really interesting way is

Chris Yonker: 00:43:54

people have a pain spending money.

Chris Yonker: 00:43:57

Human beings do.

Chris Yonker: 00:43:58

there's a level of pain associated with spending money at time.

Chris Yonker: 00:44:00

Maybe even for myself, oh man, you gotta get a new car.

Chris Yonker: 00:44:03

I don't really, even though I, the idea's, cool, I don't wanna spend a, whatever

Chris Yonker: 00:44:10

it is, and to a threshold for anybody.

Chris Yonker: 00:44:13

then there's also the pain that we're experiencing our lives.

Chris Yonker: 00:44:16

And if you can really get, understand that, if the, if you can take this pain

Chris Yonker: 00:44:19

over here that you're experiencing is ways more than what you have to separate

Chris Yonker: 00:44:24

to invest and make it go away, you'll invest, it's my experience of working

Chris Yonker: 00:44:28

people, you spend the money, you'll invest the money because, whatever that is.

Chris Yonker: 00:44:32

Whether it's transitioning your business, if it's a conflict, if it's a li I had

Chris Yonker: 00:44:36

two clients that both passed away from cancer this year, one in January, and

Chris Yonker: 00:44:40

went in March, both in their fifties.

Chris Yonker: 00:44:42

Both wanted to work with me till the end.

Chris Yonker: 00:44:45

And because they could have conversations with me, they

Chris Yonker: 00:44:48

couldn't have with anyone else.

Chris Yonker: 00:44:49

They couldn't have it with their, they wanted to be able to have that deep

Chris Yonker: 00:44:53

connection and really lay it on the table.

Chris Yonker: 00:44:55

Cause they felt like they, they needed to be something else or for

Chris Yonker: 00:44:57

someone else, for their family.

Chris Yonker: 00:45:00

yeah, I, you're right.

Chris Yonker: 00:45:01

I didn't, and I didn't realize that I could do it.

Chris Yonker: 00:45:03

Do both, right?

Chris Yonker: 00:45:04

I can live the life I want, the lifestyle I want.

Chris Yonker: 00:45:06

What's the whole other question and a whole other episode, is,

Chris Yonker: 00:45:08

what does quality life mean?

Chris Yonker: 00:45:11

And that's a great question, right?

Chris Yonker: 00:45:12

You said,

Chris Yonker: 00:45:12

you,

Chris Yonker: 00:45:13

we, you, I'd love your work and I'd love to have you on my show, by the way.

Chris Yonker: 00:45:16

but you know how we redefine.

Chris Yonker: 00:45:18

What success is like.

Chris Yonker: 00:45:20

That's a whole other part of the work I do.

Chris Yonker: 00:45:22

When you do, because you know what's quality of life?

Chris Yonker: 00:45:24

What do you mean?

Chris Yonker: 00:45:25

and it's different for everyone, so there's no judgment around it.

Chris Yonker: 00:45:29

for me it's being able to bring my daughter to school every week

Chris Yonker: 00:45:31

on Fri and on the morning and Fridays, almost all Fridays I'm off.

Chris Yonker: 00:45:37

So I'm not working tomorrow playing tennis with my wife for tomorrow at 10:00 AM

Chris Yonker: 00:45:40

Like that's, like those choices, right?

Chris Yonker: 00:45:43

But not, and being able to travel when I want, where I want to and how I want to.

Tim Winders: 00:45:48

So do

Tim Winders: 00:45:48

you, think.

Chris Yonker: 00:45:49

for you too, to live anywhere you want and whenever

Chris Yonker: 00:45:51

you wanna live there, right?

Chris Yonker: 00:45:52

Like how cool is that?

Chris Yonker: 00:45:53

I think it's

Tim Winders: 00:45:53

Yeah, I love the tennis thing.

Tim Winders: 00:45:55

I'll be playing some pickleball in the morning.

Tim Winders: 00:45:57

I've moved to the pickleball court, which tennis players are going, ah,

Tim Winders: 00:46:00

darn, those darn pickle ballers.

Tim Winders: 00:46:02

But, so I'll be doing some swimming and pickleball tomorrow, but I, one question

Tim Winders: 00:46:06

related to that little bit loaded because of what both you and I do, but what are

Tim Winders: 00:46:14

the odds or is it possible for people to reach these places without coach,

Tim Winders: 00:46:20

mentor someone to help them along?

Tim Winders: 00:46:23

can they do it on their own?

Tim Winders: 00:46:24

I don't think I could have.

Tim Winders: 00:46:26

It sounds like you may not have thought you could have.

Tim Winders: 00:46:29

What are your thoughts on that?

Tim Winders: 00:46:30

And this is not a commercial for coaching, but it's about to be.

Chris Yonker: 00:46:35

no, I think, I think it's really hard to get to where you want to

Chris Yonker: 00:46:39

go without a mentor a coach or an advisor.

Chris Yonker: 00:46:42

I don't use any term.

Chris Yonker: 00:46:43

You want someone that has That, and the person needs to understand a few things

Chris Yonker: 00:46:50

and people can study books and that's great, but there's a few things that need

Chris Yonker: 00:46:53

to happen in order for this to occur.

Chris Yonker: 00:46:54

This is a really good question.

Chris Yonker: 00:46:56

One is you have to have a level of self-awareness and

Chris Yonker: 00:46:59

our level of, you talked about time alone and all that stuff.

Chris Yonker: 00:47:01

Part of the reason I teach people that I'm enhancing their self-awareness.

Chris Yonker: 00:47:06

I can't, cannot help you beyond your own ability to be self-aware there's a

Chris Yonker: 00:47:13

correlation to your ability to understand behavior and modify behavior, but if you

Chris Yonker: 00:47:18

can't even freaking witness it, we're gonna have a really fricking hard time.

Chris Yonker: 00:47:23

Okay.

Chris Yonker: 00:47:23

So that's one piece.

Chris Yonker: 00:47:24

So you have to have that ingredient and working with a coach, mentor someone that

Chris Yonker: 00:47:29

they can help you see what you can't see.

Chris Yonker: 00:47:31

And I truly believe it is very if not impossible.

Chris Yonker: 00:47:37

To drive transformation without someone to point out your blind

Chris Yonker: 00:47:40

spots cuz you can't see 'em.

Chris Yonker: 00:47:44

So you, you have to have someone do that somewhere, whatever

Chris Yonker: 00:47:49

you want to call that person.

Chris Yonker: 00:47:51

Also, you need to help to have someone help you develop self-awareness.

Chris Yonker: 00:47:54

And those two things, I think are key elements.

Chris Yonker: 00:47:57

And then also you someone that is trained not to project,

Chris Yonker: 00:48:02

which is a whole other thing.

Chris Yonker: 00:48:05

And I work with elite coaches.

Chris Yonker: 00:48:08

I'm on an, I'm on the affiliated with another organization with eye level

Chris Yonker: 00:48:12

expert folks who's very vetted out.

Chris Yonker: 00:48:14

I'm not gonna talk about it right now today cause I'm not here for it.

Chris Yonker: 00:48:16

But, but the point is that when they, these people get together

Chris Yonker: 00:48:19

in space, you have to be approved to get into that container.

Chris Yonker: 00:48:23

So for them, because they don't want anyone in there that's got,

Chris Yonker: 00:48:27

that's gonna project their shit on anyone else, you have to be

Chris Yonker: 00:48:29

conscious enough not to do that.

Chris Yonker: 00:48:30

And some co, I hate to say it, but most coaches Good enough

Chris Yonker: 00:48:35

to do that on their own.

Chris Yonker: 00:48:36

Because what ends up happening, you and I have a conversation, and then all of

Chris Yonker: 00:48:39

a sudden I'm pushing what I'm, what I mean by projection is as I'm somehow

Chris Yonker: 00:48:43

putting my model of the world onto you, is not fair and not right, but you have

Chris Yonker: 00:48:48

to be highly conscious not to do that.

Chris Yonker: 00:48:50

And it's not a judgment thing, it's just a, it's just a developmental thing.

Chris Yonker: 00:48:54

All right.

Chris Yonker: 00:48:55

You with me on that?

Chris Yonker: 00:48:55

I know you get

Tim Winders: 00:48:56

Totally.

Tim Winders: 00:48:56

Totally on.

Tim Winders: 00:48:57

Yeah.

Chris Yonker: 00:48:58

and so that's the other key ingredient.

Chris Yonker: 00:48:59

And when you're working with a family member or a friend, they're probably, if

Chris Yonker: 00:49:03

I'm telling you, most coaches can't do it.

Chris Yonker: 00:49:06

And they're trained.

Chris Yonker: 00:49:08

I have a hard time thinking that family cuz they're like, oh,

Chris Yonker: 00:49:10

we, here's what you should do.

Chris Yonker: 00:49:11

Oops.

Chris Yonker: 00:49:12

Run, fricking run.

Chris Yonker: 00:49:14

No one should tell, I don't like the word should, but helping someone

Chris Yonker: 00:49:17

navigate a path, I look at my, my, my license plate says Sherpa on it.

Chris Yonker: 00:49:21

I look at myself and as I'm a life journey Sherpa.

Chris Yonker: 00:49:23

that's a real, that's another answer to your question from earlier.

Chris Yonker: 00:49:25

it's helping someone navigate Through going back to what we said earlier,

Chris Yonker: 00:49:31

their truth, their core values.

Chris Yonker: 00:49:34

Not mine.

Chris Yonker: 00:49:36

Not mine, their theirs for what's best for their life.

Chris Yonker: 00:49:40

Cuz it's a different for every one of us.

Tim Winders: 00:49:43

I think that one thing, there's a statement that I have, someone

Tim Winders: 00:49:46

asked me what my favorite quote is very often, and one of my favorite

Tim Winders: 00:49:50

quotes, and I don't know who this is attributed to, I can claim it is.

Tim Winders: 00:49:54

Shall not fool thyself.

Tim Winders: 00:49:56

and to me, I think it's really easy for if we're isolated, especially

Tim Winders: 00:50:01

looking back over the last few years and we're just to ourselves or just

Tim Winders: 00:50:05

hanging around with, our people around us, it's really easy to fool ourselves.

Tim Winders: 00:50:08

I think it's really easy to be deceived and fool ourselves in this world.

Tim Winders: 00:50:12

And, so I agree with you and I think the value of having someone

Tim Winders: 00:50:16

who is really, why they're here on this earth is to coach people.

Tim Winders: 00:50:22

I think a lot of people hang the title coach with themselves just for the

Tim Winders: 00:50:25

dollar bills because it can be lucrative.

Tim Winders: 00:50:28

But I think people of the really wired to do it have the ability to reach

Tim Winders: 00:50:31

inside people and pull out the greatness that's there, what, whatever it is,

Tim Winders: 00:50:36

it's not my greatness, it's not yours.

Tim Winders: 00:50:37

It's that person's greatness.

Tim Winders: 00:50:40

And I think that is, I think that's really cool.

Tim Winders: 00:50:42

I've got about 20 questions and about.

Tim Winders: 00:50:45

Four minutes that I want to get 'em in.

Tim Winders: 00:50:47

But there's one that I want to ask.

Tim Winders: 00:50:49

I have a highlight that I have in your book, soul Intention, and

Tim Winders: 00:50:52

it relates to that time and space that you talked about earlier.

Tim Winders: 00:50:57

The truth is, this is just in my Kindle.

Tim Winders: 00:51:00

It was on page 34, and it's under, are You Resourceful?

Tim Winders: 00:51:03

But I wanna talk about time as we wrap up and get to the end here.

Tim Winders: 00:51:07

The truth is, this is a statement you make in the book.

Tim Winders: 00:51:09

The truth is that time does not exist.

Tim Winders: 00:51:12

Time is a human concept.

Tim Winders: 00:51:15

We use it to measure and plan and I think at the root of a lot of what we're talking

Tim Winders: 00:51:20

about is our perception or idolization.

Tim Winders: 00:51:25

we idolize time, our calendars, our schedules, what's on our

Tim Winders: 00:51:28

watches, our, all of those things.

Tim Winders: 00:51:30

So talk a little bit about that as we wrap up in whatever you wanna say

Tim Winders: 00:51:34

about the book, because we're not gonna be able to dive deep into it.

Tim Winders: 00:51:37

But that was a cool nugget that I got from the book.

Chris Yonker: 00:51:40

yeah.

Chris Yonker: 00:51:40

Thanks.

Chris Yonker: 00:51:41

mo times a construct all exists is the current moment.

Chris Yonker: 00:51:44

everyone's heard that, but I think, I don't think we, all of our emotions,

Chris Yonker: 00:51:48

I talk about this a little bit in the book, I believe is, are contextualized.

Chris Yonker: 00:51:51

I want to have anxiety.

Chris Yonker: 00:51:52

I have to go to the future and think about what can go wrong.

Chris Yonker: 00:51:54

I can't experience anxiety in the present moment.

Chris Yonker: 00:51:58

I've only anchored in the present moment.

Chris Yonker: 00:52:01

The past is not a star house for pain.

Chris Yonker: 00:52:04

The past is a place to hold memories and learnings, right?

Chris Yonker: 00:52:08

Key memories, things, these amazing experiences We've had future to

Chris Yonker: 00:52:11

place a plan to dream division.

Chris Yonker: 00:52:15

And quite frankly, I believe that, it'd be helpful if we all spent

Chris Yonker: 00:52:18

more time in the present moment.

Chris Yonker: 00:52:19

Cuz that's where our love is.

Chris Yonker: 00:52:21

It's where our connection is, it's where, that's where our, meaning is.

Chris Yonker: 00:52:25

and it's, yeah, sure.

Chris Yonker: 00:52:26

We wanna plan and we wanna be intentional about where we

Chris Yonker: 00:52:28

spend our time, effort, energy.

Chris Yonker: 00:52:29

And it's nothing wrong with investing time to be spontaneous or creating

Chris Yonker: 00:52:34

space to do the, all of these things.

Chris Yonker: 00:52:37

But how intentional we are is really important.

Tim Winders: 00:52:41

I think the reason it's important for me, and this

Tim Winders: 00:52:43

is where people need to identify, Their tendencies, their habits.

Tim Winders: 00:52:48

I think, like you said, a lot of people have a tendency to live in the past.

Tim Winders: 00:52:53

Worry about what they did or mistakes or whatever.

Tim Winders: 00:52:56

Many people, and I think business people, I think this is what we do is we live in

Tim Winders: 00:53:00

the future, future money, future business.

Tim Winders: 00:53:02

We worry about things that may or may not ever happen.

Tim Winders: 00:53:05

and, I'm with you.

Tim Winders: 00:53:06

I know for me personally, I.

Tim Winders: 00:53:09

I have to work more on being present.

Tim Winders: 00:53:12

I've got my three-year-old granddaughter that's here with us for a week or two

Tim Winders: 00:53:16

and oth outside of doing a few things like this, I need to be present with

Tim Winders: 00:53:20

her because three years old is a very short, fleeting time in someone's life.

Tim Winders: 00:53:25

And so I think that's really, really powerful.

Tim Winders: 00:53:28

And I do recommend the book.

Tim Winders: 00:53:30

I read through the book.

Tim Winders: 00:53:31

I've got a lot of highlights.

Tim Winders: 00:53:32

We weren't able to talk about it a great deal.

Tim Winders: 00:53:34

But, Chris, let's do this in our last minute or two where all you've

Tim Winders: 00:53:39

got podcasts, you've got book, you've got, your work you do where

Tim Winders: 00:53:42

all can people connect with you.

Tim Winders: 00:53:43

We'll include it in the notes, but just tell people where they could

Tim Winders: 00:53:46

go to find you and get connected.

Tim Winders: 00:53:48

Get all your stuff.

Chris Yonker: 00:53:50

the easiest is go to Chris Yonker, ChrisYonker.com.

Chris Yonker: 00:53:55

and there's also a private coaching page.

Chris Yonker: 00:53:57

If you wanna learn more about private coaching, then there's,

Chris Yonker: 00:53:59

you can get ahold of us there.

Chris Yonker: 00:54:01

yeah, that'd be easiest.

Chris Yonker: 00:54:02

And then the podcast Secret Thoughts of CEOs, Secret Thoughts of CEOs, that, they

Chris Yonker: 00:54:07

can also, they please, tune in there.

Chris Yonker: 00:54:10

And, we're all over the map on content there.

Chris Yonker: 00:54:13

so I bring people in that I'm excited to talk to that resonate with my

Chris Yonker: 00:54:18

core values, and what I believe is what my client's core values are too.

Tim Winders: 00:54:23

Yeah, I listened to an episode this morning and I want

Tim Winders: 00:54:26

to tell the listener that if you're listening here, then you'll want to

Tim Winders: 00:54:30

jump over and subscribe or follow or whatever you need to do on your

Tim Winders: 00:54:32

platform because that podcast lines up very well with what we're doing here.

Tim Winders: 00:54:37

It gets you thinking, presses the envelope on success and things like that.

Tim Winders: 00:54:42

good match there.

Tim Winders: 00:54:43

Chris.

Tim Winders: 00:54:43

We are Seek Go Create those three words.

Tim Winders: 00:54:47

I'm gonna give you one of those words over the other two that just resonates with

Tim Winders: 00:54:50

you right now and why is my last question.

Chris Yonker: 00:54:54

Yeah.

Chris Yonker: 00:54:54

I'm just gonna go with, seek is the word.

Chris Yonker: 00:54:57

oftentimes some, one of the ways I'll sign off on emails is seek piece.

Chris Yonker: 00:55:01

That's a sign off in essence.

Chris Yonker: 00:55:04

As I mentioned earlier, we're all looking for a higher level peace in

Chris Yonker: 00:55:08

our lives, whatever that means to us.

Chris Yonker: 00:55:10

Inner peace, right?

Chris Yonker: 00:55:11

Interconnection, inner joy and fulfillment.

Chris Yonker: 00:55:14

These things are all fine in the, quite frankly, in

Chris Yonker: 00:55:17

where.

Tim Winders: 00:55:19

Very cool.

Tim Winders: 00:55:20

I agree with that.

Tim Winders: 00:55:21

There's a reason that word is.

Tim Winders: 00:55:22

First in the list.

Tim Winders: 00:55:24

So thank you, Chris, for being on the show.

Tim Winders: 00:55:26

Thank you for listening in.

Tim Winders: 00:55:28

If you've listened in, I always like to request, share this episode with someone.

Tim Winders: 00:55:33

I believe we had a pretty deep conversation for the 55, 60 minutes

Tim Winders: 00:55:37

that we were here, and I think you know someone that needs to listen in on that.

Tim Winders: 00:55:41

So take a screenshot or share it on whatever platform you own.

Tim Winders: 00:55:45

Also, get a copy of the book, Soul Intention.

Tim Winders: 00:55:47

I read it.

Tim Winders: 00:55:48

Great book.

Tim Winders: 00:55:49

It will push some buttons for you.

Tim Winders: 00:55:51

It'll get you thinking, which I think is valuable, and then jump over and follow

Tim Winders: 00:55:54

and subscribe, Chris, on his podcast.

Tim Winders: 00:55:57

Thanks for listening in.

Tim Winders: 00:55:58

Make sure you're following us here.

Tim Winders: 00:56:00

We have new episodes every Monday.

Tim Winders: 00:56:02

Until next time, continue being all that you were created to be.