Burnout to Overflow: Benita Williams Reveals the True Power of Rest for Leaders

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Self-care is literally, the way I define it is it's being in total alignment, okay?

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In every aspect of your life.

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Your physical, your mental, your social, your emotional, your spiritual,

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you being in total alignment in all areas of your life at the same time.

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Think about that being in total succinct in harmony.

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What would life be like if we were in total succinct, in harmony in

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all areas and aspects of our lives?

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Are you leading well but secretly running on empty Today on seek,

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go create the leadership journey.

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We speak with Bonita Williams, known as the self-care surgeon.

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Bonita specializes in helping leaders break free from

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exhausting cycle

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of performance-based leadership and step into a supernatural

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flow of stewardship and purpose.

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Through her unique approach, she empowers entrepreneurs and executives

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to lead from a place of rest, renewal, and radical alignment with God's

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design for their lives and businesses.

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Get ready for an honest conversation about identity, clarity, and

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the real meaning of success.

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Benita, welcome to Seat.

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Go create.

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Thank you so much, Tim, for having me.

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It's a pleasure to be here with you.

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I'm glad you're here too.

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we almost lit into conversation before we hit record and we were probably about to

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say some stuff that we needed to capture.

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so anyway, we're recording now.

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Let me start off with, the only question I've prepped you with and, I just told

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you about it before we hit record.

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So, would you rather answer what do you do or who are you?

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Pick it and start.

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Wow, that's a interesting question and I think I'll take the approach

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of who am I, reason being, you know, Jesus had many names.

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He was known by many names, you know, and so a wonderful counselor,

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peace, you know, lamb of God course, the Son of God, savior the world.

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So I'll take that approach, because I feel like I have.

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you know many names to who I am.

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so first I'll start off by saying, I'm the middle daughter of, two, college

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sweethearts who fell in love and, were married for over 41 years, my mom and dad.

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And so, my mom actually passed away in 2012 and so, but they had a

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beautiful life together and, from that union came, you know, three girls.

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And so I'm the middle child of three.

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but I feel oftentimes that I am the Joseph of the family.

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So, a lot of responsibility kind of fell on my shoulders.

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And so, I've been.

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Kind of playing that role and playing that part for most of

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my life, all my life really.

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and so I think I wear it with a badge of honor just being able to help my family.

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I've always been the one to keep the family together and that kind of thing.

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So, I would say that, a part of my upbringing really had to deal with that.

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just having to, grow up and have an old soul, if you will.

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I love being around older people and having conversations, with older people

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because I believe I identify with responsibility and nurturing and all

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the things that come with, adulthood,

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I often tell myself or tell other people that I don't feel like I was a typical

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12-year-old, I feel like at 12 I was probably more of an adult ready to do

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adult things than I should have been.

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But that was just the motivation behind, me, having responsibilities,

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taking care of my younger sibling,

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And really helping out with my mom and dad.

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anything from finances.

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I worked ever since I was 14 years old.

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just always had that, sense of responsibility that

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carried on into my adulthood.

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outside of that, who am I?

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I am definitely, a kingdom ambassador.

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you know, Jesus Christ is my Lord and savior.

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And, I, I came into a, a knowledge and relationship with

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Christ at a very young age.

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I, again, I was about 14 years old, when I developed my relationship

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with Christ and became saved.

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And, you know, of course I've gone through, several occasions where,

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you know, I have had to, you know, we dedicate my life, of course, but that

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foundation was laid at an early age, ever since I was a little kid, in, in Sunday

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school, my grandmother was always going with my grandmother to Sunday school.

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I. And I was one of those inquisitive kids.

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You know, I always had to ask the question, you know, if you tell me the

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story about Jonah being swallowed by a whale, well, I wanted to know, you know,

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how big was the whale and why, and how did Jonah come out alive and all those things.

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I was very inquisitive as a young girl, interested in the Bible stories and

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things like that, but seeking a deeper meaning, seeking to understand and really

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make a connection even at a young age.

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And so I think that kind of, carried over into, my adulthood as well.

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And so today I coined myself the self-care surgeon and, there's

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definitely a story behind that.

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But, pretty much it just balls down to, me acknowledging.

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that there's something deeper at the core for all of us when it comes to self-care.

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It's not this surface level, commercialized thing of self-care,

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but it's really at a deep root.

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what is really causing, burnout, what is really causing anxiety and the stress and

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the overwhelm and things Then so, I like to take a surgical approach and really

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peel back the layers and get down to the root cause of what is really driving us

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to, having anxiety and panic attacks.

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What's really driving us to.

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being overwhelmed and overburdened, you know, and those things.

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And especially since I don't believe that God ever intended for

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that to be the design of mankind.

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Not at all, not one bit.

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And so really want to delve into, you know, why this is

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happening, you know, in society.

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And then what can we do, especially, Christians in the marketplace?

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What can we do to make sure that we're not coming from a place of

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burnout, but we're coming from a place of thriving in Christ and in

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the original zone that he has for us.

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And so, but I'll also say, I meant to add as well that I am

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a a mother and a wife as well.

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I have a bonus daughter.

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my husband and I got married and it'll be 16 years this year.

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And so, I'm also his caregiver.

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he has a significant disability.

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And so caregiving has been a role again that I've, I've.

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Played the part probably ever since I was 14, 15 years old, you know, being

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with my grandmother and then my mom who had a terminal illness and, and now my

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husband who has a significant disability.

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So in the role of caregiving, of course, burnout and exhaustion and

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overwhelm, all these things come up.

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And so I had to understand and realize that if you don't prioritize

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yourself first and foremost, then you cannot really be there the way

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you need to, to be supportive, for those that you care and love for.

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there was so much good info there.

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And the cool thing is, Benita, I had some questions along the way that

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I was gonna connect and then you started connecting some of them, but

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I might dig a little bit more on them

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Sure,

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and because I heard a lot of cool stuff.

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what's interesting about it is, when I do my research on people that I'm gonna be

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talking to, I'll either read the book or listen to some podcasts they've been on,

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which is, the easier thing to do nowadays.

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And I've listened to you on a few podcasts and I've never heard.

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Two things that you just brought up then.

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I've never heard that you were a middle child and maybe I missed it.

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Maybe you had shared it

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and I

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never heard that there was an age that something significant happened.

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And I'll say it's that 14 years old.

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I heard you say it two or three times when I kinda let you speak there.

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and then I knew that I wanted to ask you about the caregiver role because I do

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think it's significant in your journey.

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And I think it's significant when we start trying to connect that to self-care.

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Because many times people that care for others do not care.

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You know what?

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I'm gonna keep saying it the way I was gonna say it.

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They care for others.

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They don't care for themselves.

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Absolutely, absolutely.

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Absolutely correct.

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and, but they won't, they don't admit that because they feel some, either a

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burden or responsibility or whatever.

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So my first dig deeper is for those of us that are the first born

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mm-hmm.

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in a family.

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So we're the first born and I was the first born and at least on the

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maternal side of the grandfather,

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Okay.

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you know,

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Yeah.

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not on my dad's side, but so I was first, and when I hear people talk about middle

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or the youngest, I kind of nod and I go, yeah, okay, what's the big deal?

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'cause I was like the center of everybody's universe

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for this period of time.

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So what do people that are not middle children need to know?

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And I know we're generalizing, but what do they need to know

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about being a middle child?

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So I think a lot of, comes to mind for me is, this proven energy.

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interestingly enough, I'm very competitive.

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I always had a competitive nature, competitive spirit, and I could just

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talk about myself, but it might be true for other, middle children as well.

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But, for me, very competitive, always seeking attention, because you're

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right, the firstborn always gets the attention and then the baby always gets

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the attention and the middle kid kind of gets like, left out a little bit.

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And so, that was at least my experience a lot, is that, there were times where I

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felt like I needed to carve my own path.

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I needed to, create my own identity.

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Make my own identity because, I often felt like I was

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overlooked even though I wasn't.

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I wanna make that clear.

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I wasn't, but it was just my own perceived, value at the time.

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Right.

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So, really sought out to carve my own path, make my own way, make my

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own decisions, that type of thing.

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very strong, headstrong and opinionated and, very confident as well.

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And I think that the, the middle child is just trying to, again, just to self

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identify and stand out, because the firstborn already has sort of like the

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rights, so to speak, the rights, whatever that may mean or be, in a family you

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kind of get first rights and then the baby is usually left with, you know,

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You know, well, they're the last, so they can, just do whatever they want.

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Nobody cares.

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Exactly.

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They don't have no discipline.

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Nothing like that.

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Come on.

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oftentimes, you are looking after, the baby of the family, but at the same time,

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I feel like you really have to chart your own journey, have your own path, and

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really create an identity for yourself, as that middle child, to really stand out.

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But that's just my story.

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so you mentioned that you were an old soul.

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You were also curious.

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did you feel the need to grow up and perform, at a higher level than,

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the older and we're not throwing your siblings under the bus here.

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I hope.

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Hope they don't listen.

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Podcast interviews,

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they go, oh my gosh.

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Renita for

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throwing

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us under.

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bus.

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'cause reason we, our, our son who's the youngest,

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mm-hmm.

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we refer to him as an old soul.

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Mm-hmm.

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and,

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and,

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and he has a seriousness about him that I think it's nice to say he's

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an old soul, but then it's also like he's a lot more serious about things

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Yes.

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and we don't know if he carries different burdens if he thinks, I don't know

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what he's thinking, but what is it?

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and go ahead and tie it into something that occurred when you were 12 to 14.

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That obviously was when you really became aware of that.

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'cause you mentioned it

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Yes, absolutely.

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So I do believe, to answer your question, that, there is, this level of

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seriousness, really seeking, to, know who you are to come into identity, to

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understand more about, The dynamics of family, understanding the dynamics

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of how you fit in a family and what is your contribution to family.

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I will say that, our family's very tight knit.

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we grew up very close, very tight knit family.

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And so we always were looking after one another.

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It was my responsibility literally to look after my younger sister.

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my older sister and I, there's like nine or 10 years apart, so

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she was kind of like not around.

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And so I did step into that role and kind of became, the older

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sister looking after the younger.

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and I just took that as a responsibility that I had.

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And so at 14, I gave my life to Christ.

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It was because I was on a quest.

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I was searching to know more about, Some of the things I experienced as a child,

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growing up I had a very strong, what I now know was a prophetic calling on my life.

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didn't know it at the time, being young and in the church, the church that I grew

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up in, we didn't really talk a lot about, the prophetic and that kind of thing.

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And so I, there were things going on with me that I really didn't know

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what to do about and how to handle.

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I would get dreams and visions and I would see things, before

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they happen and stuff like that.

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And so I wanted to understand more about what was that, you

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know, and how do I handle it?

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How do I navigate?

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So, at the age of 14, I just remember, it was one Friday

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night and I had made a decision.

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Actually, I could have gone with some friends, and I decided to

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go to a prayer meeting instead.

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So, I did that as a Friday night, and, that night is when I gave my

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life to the Lord, for the first time.

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And so, it was a very, just a moment in time that sealed kind of like, you know,

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this path that I'm on now, you know?

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And kind of laid the foundation and so I. From that time forward, you know, in my,

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during my college years, I rededicated my life to Christ, you know, and in my

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young twenties, I went on and encounter a powerful encounter that really changed the

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trajectory of, you know, this Christian walk and what this really meant for me.

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And so why I am here, you know?

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now talking about self-care during that encounter, I remember just feeling very

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exhausted and, overwhelmingly exhausted.

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I was a young wife.

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I was married, to my ex-husband, who has since passed on.

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God rest his soul, but he had a significant disability as

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well, and I was his caregiver.

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So I'm in my young twenties and we are, dealing with,

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terminal illness at that time.

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and I didn't really understand how much it would have taken a toll on me.

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And so I went to this encounter and, I just remember.

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surrendering to God, like, just God, here I am.

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I'm overwhelmed with the burden, of being a caregiver and all the duties of

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a wife and this and that, and I just, I'm just laying it all, at your feet.

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just surrendering myself.

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And it was in that moment that I heard God say something to me and

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he said, I just want you to rest.

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I just, I want you to rest.

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And I heard it so clearly, Tim.

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I heard it so clearly Rest, it was just so out of the box.

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Like

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What is that?

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What is rest?

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and so simplistic at the same time.

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but again, my analytical nature is always like kind of find the meaning

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and dig further and find out what does that really mean exactly.

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that kind of began my journey of this whole thing of resting in God.

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and it would evolve into the message that I carry today.

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rest is literally a gift from God.

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It's what he says, Come unto him all he or a heavy lady and I will give you rest.

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that's a real statement.

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and that's what he desires for his people.

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And so, I come to understand that rest is something that is a gift

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from God that not many of us are really having the benefit of.

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We don't really understand it, the benefits rest and why it's

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so important to self-care.

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Well, I obviously you were not going to call yourself at 14 the self-care surgeon.

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and this is another thing.

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This is one of the things I try to pick up on, and if I make too

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much of this, you let me know.

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But you've mentioned caregiver, I lost count of how many people

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you have been caregiver for.

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And I think it's four to five if I'm counting right.

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And there may be more.

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I think this is like one of the most important things to really

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begin with, to kind of start going, moving towards the self-care surgeon.

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But most people don't equate.

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Caregiving to self care.

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Usually it's a pour out everything to other people first, and then if

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something's left over, maybe, and I've seen it from my wife, just so you

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know, I haven't lived it 'cause I'm that firstborn child and I haven't,

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Right.

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I haven't cared for anyone.

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I only care for myself.

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Right.

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Come on.

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No, I don't need the self care 'cause I've been doing that my whole life.

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But no, my, yeah, but my, my, you know, so my wife's kinda unique

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in that with her father's first marriage, she was the youngest with

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his second marriage, she was the.

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Oldest and then, and then also the middle.

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So she kind of had all of that going.

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and then her parents went through divorce and all that again, so she always had

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this perform to keep everybody happy.

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And then she moved into caregiver role with her mother, even when

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her mother kind of didn't need care, but she kind of, their roles

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reversed and all this kind of stuff.

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So I've seen it and I've seen what it looks like for someone to be

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burdened with the office of caregiving.

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And, there's guilt that comes into it.

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I think there's a spiritual aspect to it also that we might,

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could unpack a little bit.

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And all of this kind of comes in and then I think it causes someone

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to really think I'm doing something for God and he's gonna take care of

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it, but we're, I think we might be doing it for other reasons, maybe.

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So all of that, I just said a bunch of stuff, so you take whatever you want

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and refute it or agree with it and keep

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going.

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No, absolutely.

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You're spot on.

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Actually.

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this is a discovery, this is a path, a journey.

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So it's not a quick fix.

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It's not an overnight success.

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It's not something that you arrived to add and then like all of a

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sudden you got it figured out.

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No, this is a journey.

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It's a course.

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And so, what I understand about it, to this point, to this degree,

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is that we do, we carry a burden,

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A need to be needed, so to speak.

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You know, there's this need to be needed.

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And, I identified with that early on in my life, I realized that, part

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of why I am in a caregiving role is because I permitted it, right?

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It's something I permitted.

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So I had to dig down and really understand, well, why am I permitting it?

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You know, what is it giving me?

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You know, what is this actually giving me, that I'm either enjoying or that I

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feel secure in, or that I find safety in, or whatever the case may be.

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And so when I dig down deeper, I realized that I had a need to be needed.

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And so that's what was driving, that was the motivator and the

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motivating force behind why, I stepped into the caregiving roles.

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And so, but I had to kind of reexamine my life and say, well,

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what would this look like if I didn't have that need to be needed?

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You know, and why, what am I feeling insecure about in my

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own self and my own identity?

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As to why I feel like I need the validation of others, I

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need to feel like I'm needed by others and that kind of thing.

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And so that kind of led me down a path and a journey to understanding what's at the

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core of that, what's at the root of that.

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So, yeah, I just wanna fast forward a little bit.

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So where I, my breaking point was actually, in 2014.

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It was right after my mom had, gone to Glory.

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part of my role was that I was in, nonprofit executive

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management for over 20 years.

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So being in the nonprofit sector, of course, any type of human service,

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role that you play, you see the pattern just continue to play out.

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Even in my professional career, in some way, shape or form, I'm advocating

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or, caring for the needs of others, looking after others and caring for

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their needs, typically before my own.

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And so that played out in my professional life as well.

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For over 20 years.

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I was an executive director in a nonprofit organization.

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And so, a lot of the, work came home with me.

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I took a lot of the work home.

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And so, it was one day when I was getting ready for, a business

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retreat, actually, ironically.

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And, one of my coworkers came into the office and she kind of like

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just stood in my doorway and she's like, Hey, are you feeling okay?

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I was like, yeah, I feel great.

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Why?

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You know?

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And she was like, well, you, you don't look like you're, you're feeling great.

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And I was like, what do you mean?

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And so I took out a mirror and just sort of like looked at myself and

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I was literally unrecognizable.

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I did not recognize myself.

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I did not recognize my reflection in the mirror because, half of my face

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had literally lost all muscle mask.

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And, half of my face was drooping.

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I didn't feel it, there was no sensation behind it or anything like

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that, but I definitely realized that something wasn't right, you know, that

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there was definitely something wrong.

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And so from that point, I ended up going to the emergency room.

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And that began a year long process of literally understanding that

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I had hit a wall of burnout.

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there would be series of tests, series of, you know, going to the doctor.

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I had to come outta work.

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So my whole life literally got turned upside down in that one moment.

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And because of that, I understood, you know, at that point that.

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I could never go back to doing life the way that I had been doing it because

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I literally was neglecting myself.

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I put everybody and everything else on the front burner and I

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literally was on the back burner.

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And I just did not know, I was not aware, of how to be kind to myself.

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And it was in that moment again that I heard that whisper, that voice

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from God saying, I need you to rest.

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I just, I want you to rest.

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So here's a recurring theme now that's going on in my life.

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and God often speaks in patterns.

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He often speaks in patterns.

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And so here I am again approached with this identity of, or this

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ideal of rest and what that is.

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And so I understood that I needed to understand that in order to

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navigate this dark path of change, I have to get down deeper to.

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How do I get this rest that God has for us?

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What is this really all about?

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and there began my journey honestly to, what I've come into now, which is the

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self-care surgeon and understanding more about God's rest for us and why it's so

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necessary and so important regardless of the roles that you play, regardless

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of the patterns you know, that, that are in your life or the hats that you wear.

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there is a rest for all of us, and God has it for us, and we just have

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to be mindful of how we can tap into it, how we can stay in it, how we can

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flow in it, and literally how we can steward well that which he has given

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us because it is actually stewardship.

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It's a stewardship principle, that I've come to understand about rest.

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there's so much there.

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I'm watching my time 'cause I want us to move into,

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we'll

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call it post 2014 and some of the things you've learned, but I wanna

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spend just a couple of minutes

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on

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pre 2014 because we've got leaders listening in.

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We've got leaders in ministry and business and some of them might be going and this

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theory is becoming, I think, less than a theory and more of a hardened truth.

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And that is that as smart as we all are, some of us that are coaches and

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we are

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spiritually advanced, we think, and blah, blah, blah, all this kind of

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stuff, we know that we need to rest.

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God told you a few times that you need to rest.

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God told you, Bonita, I hate to hammer that, but God told you.

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And if you're not gonna listen to God, who are you gonna listen to?

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But yet we don't make the changes until what I call a catalytic event occurs.

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Absolutely.

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know, for us, 2008, the financial downfalls, kind of what God said,

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oh, now I can get your attention.

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It sounds like for you 2014, you were almost having a stroke-like symptoms,

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sitting in your office of all places, and a friend or a coworker had to

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come in and say, something's not right with you, and you didn't even know it.

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Unaware.

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So first of all, I want to ask why is it that we fool ourselves in

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thinking we've got our act together.

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Mm-hmm.

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and kind of secondarily, I want you to talk about leaders that are leading in

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the pre 2014 mindset that you were leading in, because in a little while we're

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gonna talk about how we should be leading

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now.

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But anyway,

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Absolutely does.

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Yes.

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Absolutely.

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All right.

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So, and thank you for that.

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So, just to go back to pre 14 again, it comes from, it stems from this, this idea

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of self effort, this idea of performance management, this idea of, I, I got it.

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I can handle it, you know, again, from my childhood all the way up.

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It was this responsibility that I had, this overarching responsibility,

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whether self-induced or not, whether induced by environment.

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It doesn't matter.

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It still was a pattern.

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It became a pattern for me, for the way that I carried out and conducted my life.

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It was that I'm in charge, I'm in control.

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I have to have this responsibility.

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I have to take care of everything.

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and that morphed into this, performance mentality.

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I can never break down, I have to be strong.

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I have to be the one to carry the load.

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I put the way I, I, I, me, me, me, me, me, me, I, I, I. and I really believe

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that that is the catalyst of what, drives this motive of self effort and

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self, producing and all the selfs.

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You know, all of the things that come along with, effort.

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And I believe that's the root of where burnout and exhaustion

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and overwhelm and the stress and anxiety and everything comes from.

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And I believe what God is telling us is that there is a more excellent

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way we don't have to have these self, efforts and these self-promoting or

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self, performance mechanisms in place.

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there is a more excellent way, and it's the way of stewardship,

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understanding that, what we've accumulated, is really not our own.

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It belongs to God.

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And that's the first thing, being able to let go of what's mind.

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Mine, mine, mine.

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And I, I, I, I, I, we belong to God.

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And then everything in the earth belongs to God and the fullness thereof.

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So we understand that we own nothing.

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It all belongs to God, and he is allowing us and permitting us to be able to steward

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well that which he's giving unto us.

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And so it's really about self effort versus stewardship, or what I wanna

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call ownership versus stewardship.

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Yeah.

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Love that.

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We talk about that a lot.

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one quick question though that I wanna ask about your role, and this is a

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trick question, I'll go ahead and tell you right up front, it's gonna

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be one that you're gonna go, Ooh, I wonder how I should answer that.

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mind right now.

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Yeah.

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I'm an engineer from Georgia Tech, so I'm trying to do, do you think that knowing

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what you know now, that you really were.

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as good at what you were doing pre 2014 as you really thought you were, because

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I'm sure you got your promotions, you were an executive, you were running the

Speaker: 00:27:21

show, people were coming to you, you were awesome, but were you really that good?

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I mean, obviously you were a time bomb.

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There was a ticking time bomb going on, but tell me about some things.

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I mean, and I don't even know if you could think of exact decisions.

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You know, when you think you're, you're the owner and if it's, if it is to me,

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it's, if it is to be, it's up to me.

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Benita, I'm the one

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Right.

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versus what you know now, which is rest and release.

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So were you really that good or were you

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not?

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here's the question here.

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Was I really in that much of control or was I not?

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And the answer to that is a resounding no.

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No, I wasn't as in control as I thought I was.

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And really that's what it boils down to, Tim, it's not really about anything else.

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It's not the performance, it's not the numbers, it's not the

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profitability and the projectability.

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It's really about control.

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Was I really in control as much as I think I would like to have been, and

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the answer to that is no, not at all.

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Not at all.

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I could tell you that because in 2019, I actually, left the company not by

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my own will and my own choice, but I actually had no other choice but to leave.

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And it just, showed me how much I was not in control as I thought that I was.

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and things like that happen in life, right?

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you think that you're in control one minute and the next minute, you

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know, the rug comes and just kind of sweep the rug out from under your

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feet and you're left on the floor.

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Like, what just happened?

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And so that's what it's like.

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But it's a wake up call for us to understand who's really in control.

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Who's really in control, you know?

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And when we can surrender our own, perspective of control

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and self-control and like come from, come out of self-control

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into willful surrender, right?

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Willful surrender, that's an important word.

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Not just surrender because there are things of life that can happen to

Speaker: 00:29:12

you that will cause you to surrender.

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But what I'm talking about is we can get to a place in God where there

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is willful surrender, where it is done not as a consequence, like in

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my case and in your case, right.

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But it's done as, as a. An acknowledgement and awareness that

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God, all that I have belongs to you,

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Hmm.

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apart from you, I'm nothing.

Speaker: 00:29:36

it's a willful surrender and, a posture of our heart.

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And when we can get into that heart posture of surrender, there

Speaker: 00:29:45

are miracle signs and wonders.

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There's a supernatural overflow of God that will be unleashed, that we

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won't have home enough to receive.

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And that's really the message that I bring today, is that we literally

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can go from toiling and self effort and striving to this place of

Speaker: 00:30:07

supernatural overflow abundance more than enough with less effort.

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If we come into this posture, this heart posture of surrender, the

Speaker: 00:30:19

highest form of faith is rest.

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Yeah.

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And it's hard.

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It's so hard for achievers to get that.

Speaker: 00:30:28

What's interesting, you mentioned you were for one year, in the hospital.

Speaker: 00:30:31

I think you were probably a caregiver at that time and typically someone

Speaker: 00:30:36

in the hospital can't be a caregiver 'cause everybody else is having to care.

Speaker: 00:30:40

Then I'm, I'm guessing,

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and

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we don't want to go here 'cause I'm gonna, I wanna move on, but I'm guessing that

Speaker: 00:30:46

it wasn't immediately willful surrender.

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It was probably like you were fighting it, surrender, but eventually it

Speaker: 00:30:52

became

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willful.

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Oh, I had no choice in that, in that, scenario.

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It was not a willful surrender.

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It was definitely a forced surrender.

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Yeah.

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So everything I knew about my life had totally changed overnight, and the things

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that I was once, you know, in control of, I thought I was in control of.

Speaker: 00:31:11

I totally out of my hands, literally to the time that I wake up in the morning,

Speaker: 00:31:15

to the time that I go to bed at night, to me, operating a vehicle, to me preparing

Speaker: 00:31:20

meals for my family, for me taking care of other people, I had to surrender all

Speaker: 00:31:25

of that, everything that I had known, you know, not being able to work a job.

Speaker: 00:31:29

I mean, it was like night and day, completely different, but I had to learn

Speaker: 00:31:34

how to navigate this dark path of change.

Speaker: 00:31:37

It's almost like wrestling with the angel like Jacob did when

Speaker: 00:31:40

he wrestled with the angel.

Speaker: 00:31:41

And he said, I won't turn you loose until you bless me.

Speaker: 00:31:44

But when he came out of that moment, he came out with a limp, right?

Speaker: 00:31:48

The Bible, his name was changed from Jacob Israel, but he had a limp,

Speaker: 00:31:51

which was a reminder, a constant reminder that he had wrestled.

Speaker: 00:31:55

And so, I will literally say that my body, I know my body so well now, I'm so in

Speaker: 00:32:00

tune, in sync with it until I'll get those little messages, those little like mm-hmm.

Speaker: 00:32:05

When I've over exerted myself or when I'm not in rest, or when I'm not, really

Speaker: 00:32:09

fully surrendered, I will get those little nudges and taps on the shoulder

Speaker: 00:32:12

saying, don't go back into that self, imposed self effort and self control.

Speaker: 00:32:17

don't do that.

Speaker: 00:32:18

Was there a physical diagnosis of what you went through or

Speaker: 00:32:21

was it just stress related?

Speaker: 00:32:23

Do you still have a limp?

Speaker: 00:32:24

I mean, for those that are listening, they're watching video.

Speaker: 00:32:27

Your face is beautiful so you don't have half your face sagging right now.

Speaker: 00:32:31

Beautiful smile and all that.

Speaker: 00:32:32

But um, was there anything physical?

Speaker: 00:32:35

The reason I bring it up is that,

Speaker: 00:32:36

mm-hmm.

Speaker: 00:32:37

let's see, Alicia, Michelle is an episode that either released maybe

Speaker: 00:32:40

right before you or after you went through a physical challenge in 2017.

Speaker: 00:32:45

We've had so many

Speaker: 00:32:47

that have

Speaker: 00:32:48

gone through situations and there is often a physical diagnosis, but

Speaker: 00:32:53

most will say in all likelihood it was stress related or inflamed

Speaker: 00:32:58

or induced or something like that.

Speaker: 00:33:00

What, real quickly, what was there

Speaker: 00:33:01

physical aspect?

Speaker: 00:33:03

Yeah.

Speaker: 00:33:03

so, absolutely.

Speaker: 00:33:04

So, it was first diagnosed as seizure disorder.

Speaker: 00:33:07

but then later on after, again, a number of tests and things, there

Speaker: 00:33:10

is this, condition called, and it's a long word, so I'm trying to make

Speaker: 00:33:14

sure I enunciate, correctly, but it's Hemi, he speral facial spasms.

Speaker: 00:33:21

So it's facial spams of a hemisphere, if you will.

Speaker: 00:33:23

That doesn't sound good.

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That doesn't sound good

Speaker: 00:33:25

That doesn't sound good at all.

Speaker: 00:33:26

No, and it's like where the nerves just kind of spazz out in the back of, the

Speaker: 00:33:30

brain that connects the neck part and it just kind of, yeah, goes on this

Speaker: 00:33:33

little spazz out tarn and so interesting.

Speaker: 00:33:37

that's what it was known, but it was definitely triggered.

Speaker: 00:33:38

There are triggers for that or to that and stress being of

Speaker: 00:33:42

course, number one up there.

Speaker: 00:33:44

Alright, so,

Speaker: 00:33:44

so

Speaker: 00:33:45

so let's fast forward.

Speaker: 00:33:46

You continued working in that nonprofit world.

Speaker: 00:33:49

It's real interesting, I noticed a lot of people that are in

Speaker: 00:33:51

nonprofit and kinda caregiving.

Speaker: 00:33:54

There's this aspect of giving.

Speaker: 00:33:58

but now you're in this role where we will call you the self-care surgeon

Speaker: 00:34:05

and tell me a little bit about that.

Speaker: 00:34:07

'cause that makes you move from working for someone else, which has its own

Speaker: 00:34:11

issues to now sort of working for yourself and then working with others

Speaker: 00:34:16

that are high performers, executives, leaders, and all the people that listen

Speaker: 00:34:21

in here, by the way, for the most part.

Speaker: 00:34:22

So talk about that transition and what that was like,

Speaker: 00:34:27

because that could be kind of

Speaker: 00:34:28

stressful also.

Speaker: 00:34:29

Oh, absolutely.

Speaker: 00:34:30

Yeah.

Speaker: 00:34:30

Entrepreneurship, welcome to the world of, of even more stress, right?

Speaker: 00:34:35

so, yeah.

Speaker: 00:34:36

what happened, is after I, I guess back in 20.

Speaker: 00:34:40

16, 20 17, after I, I was on this journey again of, of self-healing,

Speaker: 00:34:45

like learning about my body, being in tune with, you know, what the

Speaker: 00:34:49

self-care looked like for me.

Speaker: 00:34:50

It's different for each individual person, but how can I become more aware of the

Speaker: 00:34:53

warning signs of burnout and things like that as it pertains to myself.

Speaker: 00:34:57

while I'm seeking knowledge and information to help me, to guide me,

Speaker: 00:35:01

what I realized is that my goodness, there may be other people out there

Speaker: 00:35:04

that are experiencing and going through some of the same things.

Speaker: 00:35:07

And some of the things that I was looking for at the time that I was

Speaker: 00:35:10

going through, I did not find, like I was seeking, you know, wise counsel.

Speaker: 00:35:14

I was trying to, you know, find any coaches or someone that could help me.

Speaker: 00:35:18

I did not wanna go into, you know, the medical spectrum, if you will,

Speaker: 00:35:21

and be labeled and diagnosed and all these things and go down that path.

Speaker: 00:35:24

So I was always looking for something that was more holistic, something

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that was more, catered to, to my beliefs and things like that.

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But I didn't find that connection.

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And so I realized that what God had given me.

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This process of how I can renew, and refocus.

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how I can come into rest.

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I realized that that was something that would be beneficial

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for other people as well.

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So in 2017, I was, I was on a business trip.

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I went to a, a business retreat.

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They call it a, a spiritual business retreat, literally.

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And so, while I was there, again, just laying humbled before God and praying

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to him about what is my next direction?

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What is my next step?

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And I literally heard him tell me that, destination, he

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gave me the word destination.

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So it's like destination with a R Destination.

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And so, and, and rest the nation is, this is this point of where

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divine purpose meets dominion Rest.

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It's, it's where you come together and realize, you know, that there

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is a way that seems right, but that way leads to destruction.

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And so you want to.

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Chart the more excellent path, you know, the more excellent way.

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And so, you can literally bring together, what I call faith in

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business can literally coexist together, and live together in harmony.

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And so, that's where that was birthed from.

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And so from there, I just, you know, I was working a business on part-time on the

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side, and, I was in the nonprofit sector still until 2019 when I, again, not of my

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own doing, but circumstances and things happened, which caused me to, no longer

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be with that particular organization.

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And I just went full time into what guy had given me.

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And I've been doing this ever since.

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so God gave you a couple years to get ready

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Yes.

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and then, you know, some people say, oh, I don't think God took her out

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of that job To me, I'm listening in.

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It was time

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It was

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and it wasn't fun because, you know, this is the big deal.

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Let's go and call it out like it is

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Yeah.

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to get a paycheck every

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To

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get learned everything I needed to learn there.

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So he literally told me like, now is the time you've learned

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everything you needed to learn there.

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Yeah.

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And, and you know what, we can get kind of comfortable getting a paycheck every

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two weeks versus all of a sudden, in your new organization, entrepreneurship,

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you may not get a paycheck

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every two weeks.

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Right.

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Not at all.

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No.

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There is definitely some seeds to be sown.

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Yeah, and the thing about it is that that's where the trust and the, and I

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think that's where that surrender for me, because I get comfortable in certain

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situations and oddly enough, I've just.

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Taken a role that would be called a job at 61 years old.

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And I was telling my wife, I said, this is gonna be interesting 'cause

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I haven't had a quote unquote job.

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it's with a great friend and a client and a great company that I've been working

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with as a coach for five years, but

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wow.

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I've taken a, a sort of a job and I haven't had a job since 1996.

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So it's like, we'll see how this works out.

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I'll get back with you on that.

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I'm sure it'll go great.

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but, it's real interesting that that shift, Benita, so you're working now.

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what, how would you define, the ideal or the avatar that you work with now?

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What does it

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like?

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What type people?

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Yeah, so now it's definitely, it's shifted actually quite a few

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times, since I began back in 2017.

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most recently it's definitely dealing with the leaders who identify with

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doubt, who identify with self effort, who want more than just, to make a living.

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But they wanna make an impact, but they want to do it without

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the consequence of burnout.

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they really want to be more influential, but they want to do it without

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the consequence, again, of stress and overwhelm and anxiety wanna

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come out of the performance based.

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system and into more of a stewardship based system.

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Those are the leaders, those are the CEOs, the founders

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that I'm looking to work with.

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There is a message from God I truly believe.

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and it has to deal with overflow and us really stepping into the overflow of God.

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You know, the more than enough, the having more with less effort.

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there is a real place in God where we can experience those things, and we

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should be experiencing those things on a much higher rate than we are.

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as a body of believers.

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And so I just believe that God is preparing us, preparing our hearts to

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receive more, but to steward well that which he has given unto us in this time.

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Right.

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I'm curious, are you working

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mm-hmm.

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with people that are wanting to not go through situations

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like you and I and others have?

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Are they get, are they ahead of that curve or are you seeing people that

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have gone through it and they need help to kinda keep moving through it?

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What are you seeing more of in your

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people

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that

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are attracted to you?

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Yeah, so I'm seeing more of the latter.

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Something has already happened.

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Darn.

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hoping that people,

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I was hoping people would learn

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from

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our mistakes.

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I know, right?

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you think about society, you think about, the younger generations

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now are experiencing more stress and burnout and anxiety and

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overwhelmed than thought imaginable.

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I mean, it's off the charts with younger generations experiencing,

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voluntary, absenteeism or, mental health and all these other things that are

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going on, which is costing businesses billions of dollars, by the way.

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Right?

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And so, yeah, this is definitely, the pandemic showed improved.

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just how much we are engulfed in, this burnout and this exhaustion, society as a

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whole just being burnt out and exhausted.

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And how do we bounce back from that?

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How do we really recalibrate?

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You know, and come into, more of an alignment, what I like to call an

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alignment with God's design and his will for our life and how he purposed

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us to really experience, overflow and supernatural abundance and grace and

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the favor and all the things we talk about, but rarely are we achieving that?

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and, you know, seeing it in droves.

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And so that's the message I come with.

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let's, in our time, we have left here, 10, 15 minutes, something like that.

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I would really like to, 'cause we've had a great, we've kind of gotten to

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this place where now I want us to talk about maybe some practical things.

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And the first thing that I wanna do is I wanna overcome this perception that

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some of us might have about self-care.

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Because self-care is a word in our culture that gets used

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for a lot of different things.

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And some people might say, oh yeah, you just need to get a therapist.

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And some people may, some people you've mentioned you didn't

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want to go down a medical route.

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Some people may need to do that.

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I like more natural and different things like that, and I would be one Benita.

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So I'm gonna have you convince me maybe a little bit as a, I would be one that

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I would sort of poo poo self-care.

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It's like, come on, that sounds like, oh man, you gonna just gonna go

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get a therapist and get a mani-pedi every other week and, you know, maybe

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a massage or something like that.

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Right.

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with that snarky cynical prep for you, tell

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me how you define self-care.

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Absolutely.

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First of all, I say self-care is essential to peak performance.

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For people like you and me, high achievers, go getters, go

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givers, all the things, right?

Speaker: 00:43:01

Self, performance is, is, is high on our, on our list, right?

Speaker: 00:43:05

We're always seeking ways that we can perform better, and,

Speaker: 00:43:08

and get more out of ourselves.

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And so what I say is, self-care is essential to peak performance.

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If you want peak performance.

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You cannot achieve peak performance without self-care.

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Alright?

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That's first and foremost.

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And self-care is literally, the way I define it is it's

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being in total alignment, okay?

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In every aspect of your life.

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Your physical, your mental, your social, your emotional, your spiritual,

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you being in total alignment in all areas of your life at the same time.

Speaker: 00:43:35

Think about that being in total succinct in harmony.

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What would life be like if we were in total succinct, in harmony in

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all areas and aspects of our lives?

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At the same time.

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And I truly believe that that is, a level in God that he wants us to achieve.

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I believe that that's where he wants us to go.

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As leaders, as founders, as caregivers, whatever your role is, I believe that

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there is this, again, this more excellent way, this path, to, to total wellbeing

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and to total health and wholeness.

Speaker: 00:44:07

And it begins with self-care.

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It's being able to identify, with those areas of your life that is not quite

Speaker: 00:44:14

in alignment with where God would have you, and really surrendering those

Speaker: 00:44:19

areas of control, to God and allowing him to come in and help us to get his

Speaker: 00:44:24

perspective on what it truly means to live in total wellness our bodies as a

Speaker: 00:44:29

temple, our mindsets, our careers, our families, all these are gifts from God.

Speaker: 00:44:35

How are we stewarding?

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Well, what he has given us, rest again is essential.

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I believe that rest is the highest form of faith, our total trust in God to

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receive from him what he has for us.

Speaker: 00:44:47

And I believe that's where it starts.

Speaker: 00:44:50

So Benita this, this I think might be my last cynical question, and

Speaker: 00:44:54

then we'll do something different.

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Part of me, I actually have this hyper optimistic and hyper pessimistic

Speaker: 00:45:03

sometimes living inside me.

Speaker: 00:45:05

I don't know if it's like, you know, the angel on each shoulder

Speaker: 00:45:08

where one looks like the devil with a pitchfork and the other one

Speaker: 00:45:10

looks like, Michael, the archangel.

Speaker: 00:45:12

part of me would ask a follow up question to say, do we really think

Speaker: 00:45:17

that that total harmony and alignment is possible in this natural realm?

Speaker: 00:45:24

We live in this side of whatever, you know, if it's heaven or whatever.

Speaker: 00:45:28

do we really think that's possible?

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And if so, let's start talking about some practices, maybe things that

Speaker: 00:45:37

we can do to get to that place.

Speaker: 00:45:40

if it's something we're just almost always getting to, that's fine because

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I think most people need to get closer than they are now to whatever that is.

Speaker: 00:45:48

Right?

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So,

Speaker: 00:45:48

so

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start taking us down that path.

Speaker: 00:45:51

great question.

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And I would say yes to that.

Speaker: 00:45:54

It is a journey.

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However, I think what we are looking for in society is the quick fixes.

Speaker: 00:45:59

We want the overnight, wins the overnight successes.

Speaker: 00:46:01

We want the one time deals and then everything is good right from here on out.

Speaker: 00:46:05

It doesn't work that way.

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It is definitely a process.

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It is a posture, what I call a divine sequence, if you will, divine sequence to

Speaker: 00:46:14

receiving the overflow of God to receiving the more than enough the all that he

Speaker: 00:46:18

has, and I truly believe that there is, a way that we can journey that path, that

Speaker: 00:46:23

we can be on the path to achieve that.

Speaker: 00:46:26

That's the thing.

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you gotta be willing, first of all, acknowledging and being willing to

Speaker: 00:46:30

surrender to saying, you know what?

Speaker: 00:46:32

I'm not in control.

Speaker: 00:46:33

I don't have it all figured out.

Speaker: 00:46:34

I don't know, all the things or whatever the case, but I'm

Speaker: 00:46:36

willing to surrender, to learn.

Speaker: 00:46:39

I'm willing to surrender to God who will help me to understand and come

Speaker: 00:46:43

into, this knowledge and wisdom.

Speaker: 00:46:45

Solomon asked for it.

Speaker: 00:46:46

You think about it in the Bible, Solomon, what he asked for.

Speaker: 00:46:49

He didn't ask for riches.

Speaker: 00:46:50

He didn't ask for, money and things like that, he said, God, I need your wisdom.

Speaker: 00:46:54

I need your wisdom.

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I need your knowing.

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I need your insights.

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Or insights, okay?

Speaker: 00:46:59

As to, as to how to lead these people, right As a leader,

Speaker: 00:47:03

how to lead these people.

Speaker: 00:47:05

And what he was literally asking was, God, I need you to show me how to

Speaker: 00:47:08

steward well that what you have given me.

Speaker: 00:47:11

Stewardship is a gift.

Speaker: 00:47:13

It's a gift from God.

Speaker: 00:47:14

It's not something that we automatically come into and no,

Speaker: 00:47:16

you don't automatically know how to steward all that God has for you.

Speaker: 00:47:20

But he said, seek you first.

Speaker: 00:47:21

The king of God is righteousness.

Speaker: 00:47:23

And then all these things will be added.

Speaker: 00:47:25

Why seek you first?

Speaker: 00:47:26

Because we need the wisdom.

Speaker: 00:47:28

We need the know how from God in order to steward what he's given.

Speaker: 00:47:32

So yes, the answer to your question is yes, there is definitely a

Speaker: 00:47:35

way, there's a path to this.

Speaker: 00:47:38

but how we go about it is we seek his wisdom on it.

Speaker: 00:47:41

We understand that, you know, Rome was not built in a day, as they say.

Speaker: 00:47:46

with this, there are definitely, hills and valleys, there are gonna be times

Speaker: 00:47:50

of surrender and times of we recognize and identify we haven't surrendered.

Speaker: 00:47:54

Right.

Speaker: 00:47:55

And then how do we do that?

Speaker: 00:47:56

So there's definitely a divine process and a flow, and, that's part of

Speaker: 00:48:00

why I'm here to share this message.

Speaker: 00:48:02

That's good.

Speaker: 00:48:02

So, I love the reference to Matthew 6 33 too.

Speaker: 00:48:05

That's like a foundational scripture for me,

Speaker: 00:48:07

Mm-hmm.

Speaker: 00:48:07

that Seek first did a big study on the Kingdom of God.

Speaker: 00:48:11

Yes.

Speaker: 00:48:12

All right.

Speaker: 00:48:12

You mentioned something earlier about being in tune with your body

Speaker: 00:48:18

and what's going on, and obviously going back to pre 2014, you weren't,

Speaker: 00:48:24

No, not at all.

Speaker: 00:48:24

tell me I am better.

Speaker: 00:48:27

I.

Speaker: 00:48:27

Now at that than I once was.

Speaker: 00:48:30

I'm monitoring how well I rest and sleep.

Speaker: 00:48:32

if I feel a little bit of a something, I'll try to allow it to recover and heal.

Speaker: 00:48:38

I'll try to be mindful of my mood and mindset and attitude and

Speaker: 00:48:41

what's going on with the little, digestion and parts of my body.

Speaker: 00:48:44

tell me more about how, like, kind of specific, how are you in tune with your

Speaker: 00:48:50

body that other people might need to know?

Speaker: 00:48:53

'cause I kind of get the feeling you teach people that some, so

Speaker: 00:48:57

tell me a little bit more about

Speaker: 00:48:58

because I think that's really important.

Speaker: 00:49:00

Absolutely.

Speaker: 00:49:01

I believe that, again, awareness is key.

Speaker: 00:49:03

I believe that awareness, if you're aware, then you can start to make change, right?

Speaker: 00:49:07

You can only make change of what you become aware of.

Speaker: 00:49:09

And so I think awareness is where it begins.

Speaker: 00:49:12

And so it's really becoming, Just quieting the noises in your life, the

Speaker: 00:49:17

distractions in your life, really coming into, a spiritual awareness, first of

Speaker: 00:49:22

all, I can, I can honestly say that in the stillness and the quietness in my times

Speaker: 00:49:27

with God in my prayer and in my, my times of meditation are in my times of just

Speaker: 00:49:31

sitting quiet, sitting still before him is where things get revealed the most.

Speaker: 00:49:35

It's how things become revealed the most.

Speaker: 00:49:38

And so, even as it pertains to my health, even as it pertains to my mindset

Speaker: 00:49:41

and my mental agility and things like that, when I connect and tune in with

Speaker: 00:49:46

the spirit of God, when I silence the noise and I tune out every distraction,

Speaker: 00:49:51

and I'm in this place and position of posture and rest with God, that's when

Speaker: 00:49:56

things start to become clear to me.

Speaker: 00:49:58

That's where the clarity begins.

Speaker: 00:50:00

For not just my physical, but my mental, my emotional, my social, my spiritual,

Speaker: 00:50:05

all aspects begin to come in alignment.

Speaker: 00:50:07

It's like you build an altar and you lay yourself prostrate at the altar, and then

Speaker: 00:50:12

he's able to take literally, all the cares of the world away so that you can tune

Speaker: 00:50:18

in directly and have that one-on-one time with him, and he'll reveal to you the

Speaker: 00:50:23

things that may be causing, the strife in your life or the stress in your life,

Speaker: 00:50:27

or the overwhelm and things like that.

Speaker: 00:50:28

And so when you come out of that, you really get an understanding and awareness,

Speaker: 00:50:33

like, wow, you know, I need to drink more water, or I need to, you know, be able to,

Speaker: 00:50:38

what I call intentional rest throughout my day, take periods of time and really step

Speaker: 00:50:43

away from the hustle and bustle and the grind, and really get back in alignment.

Speaker: 00:50:48

Allow yourself to readjust and get realigned with God's spirit.

Speaker: 00:50:52

Be able to be in tune, stay in that posture.

Speaker: 00:50:56

that takes work.

Speaker: 00:50:57

But you can get into a rhythm, where you can have active rest

Speaker: 00:51:01

cycles, and intentional rest cycles, where throughout your day you're

Speaker: 00:51:06

taking these intentional pauses and you're just getting in realignment.

Speaker: 00:51:10

You know, you get in realignment with God and hearing from him and being

Speaker: 00:51:14

able to move according to that rhythm,

Speaker: 00:51:17

Yeah, I think that's one of the things we, tried to do before we hit record.

Speaker: 00:51:20

I said, Hey listen, let's pause and take a second.

Speaker: 00:51:22

It's on my notes to do it.

Speaker: 00:51:24

Mm-hmm.

Speaker: 00:51:25

other habits or practices before I ask my final few questions?

Speaker: 00:51:30

Just maybe a good little practical habit or tip that can really help somebody

Speaker: 00:51:36

Yes, I would say, recognize the warning signs early.

Speaker: 00:51:40

looking back now, I can see that there were definitely

Speaker: 00:51:42

some warning signs, for me.

Speaker: 00:51:45

if you have no off switch, if you're always constantly on go mode.

Speaker: 00:51:49

we weren't designed to be on goal 24 7, right?

Speaker: 00:51:52

We were designed to, to again, have a off switch, to be able to switch off.

Speaker: 00:51:57

So if you're carrying your work home, for example, don't carry your work home,

Speaker: 00:52:02

really set boundaries, for yourself and give yourself time and space to,

Speaker: 00:52:07

come away from the day-to-day work.

Speaker: 00:52:10

I practice a formula called the 90 20 rule, where I'll work on focus work for

Speaker: 00:52:15

90 minutes, and then I'll break away and do 20 minutes of non-focused activity.

Speaker: 00:52:19

But you do the 90 20, you work hard, for 90 minutes, and then

Speaker: 00:52:23

you break away for 20 minutes.

Speaker: 00:52:24

that way it gives your brain a recharge because your brain is one of the largest

Speaker: 00:52:28

organs that uses up the most energy, you need to definitely recharge your

Speaker: 00:52:32

brain multiple times throughout the day.

Speaker: 00:52:34

the 90 20 rule has been really practical, for me in my life.

Speaker: 00:52:37

What,

Speaker: 00:52:37

that as well.

Speaker: 00:52:38

what's your favorite?

Speaker: 00:52:39

20? What?

Speaker: 00:52:39

Is it something that you really dig doing

Speaker: 00:52:42

that 20 minutes?

Speaker: 00:52:44

I am a writer.

Speaker: 00:52:45

I'm a scribe for Jesus, if you will.

Speaker: 00:52:47

So taking that time is still in the way.

Speaker: 00:52:49

And journaling, writing things like that for me, is beneficial.

Speaker: 00:52:53

I love walking.

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I'll take walks, you know, nature, just kind of getting reacclimated

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with, the sense and awareness of the moments that are going on.

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Unplugging from technology and really just being present in the moments.

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it could be, Journaling or, coloring.

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I've heard that some people like to color, they like to take out a coloring book

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and just, color and do things like that.

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Whatever kind of disconnects you from that focus work, that hardcore focus work and

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just kind of puts you more in the mindset of creativity and imagination and play and

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that kind of thing is what you wanna do.

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Yeah.

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Interesting.

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my wife has done that.

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She actually has a, something on her

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iPad

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that she could doodle and color and all that.

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Crochet and I'll do, yeah.

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Make patterns and different things like that.

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So anything like that that'll allow you to tap into your creative juice.

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Yeah, I've, I've got one more, what I'll call an exclamation point

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question, but before I do Benita, tell everybody how they can find you, how

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they could work with you, or if, if someone says, Hey, I'd just like to

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follow up and talk to you or something.

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Tell everybody how they can do that.

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We'll include it down in notes and all that, but give that

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to

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everybody.

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I've got one more question we'll finish up with.

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Absolutely.

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Yes.

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So you can reach me@bonitawilliams.com.

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It's just my name, bonita williams.com.

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And you can go there, to schedule an appointment with me.

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I'd love to chat with you.

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if anything about, you know, burnout, you know how you can get, more out of yourself

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without, you know, with less work and less effort, anything about stewardship

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or even just tapping into the overflow, I believe that there's definitely an

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overflow, a supernatural abundance of God that he has for all of us.

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And I'm here to help you, with that.

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So benita williams.com.

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All right, we'll include all that.

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All right.

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Here's my final, this is, I'm gonna call this an exclamation point.

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I want you to speak directly to a specific group, and I believe that there

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are many people out there who might feel trapped in the role of caregiver.

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Hmm.

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They believe that they're either caring for a parent, child, spouse,

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someone else, and we may even have something like that in our title that

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might attract them to this episode.

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So, Benita, I want you to take, 20, 30, 60 seconds, whatever.

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And I would love for you to encourage someone who is feeling overwhelmed

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or trapped in that role of caregiver, especially since you were wired that way.

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You probably still are, you're still caregiving, but you've sort

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of, aligned and harmonized with it might be a best way of saying it.

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so speak directly to someone who might be trapped

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in, in caregiving.

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Absolutely.

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Thank you again.

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First of all, Tim, for your time today.

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I really, really thoroughly enjoyed our time together.

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So to the leader that's wearing all the hats, because

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caregiving is a hat, it's a role.

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I will say to you, to be kind to yourself, first and foremost, be kind to yourself.

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God loves you, and he charged us to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.

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So the first rule of that Is to love yourself.

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Listen to your body.

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you don't have to be super man or super woman.

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we have a savior who loved us so much that he saved the world.

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He saved us.

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And so we can rely on his strength, we can draw from his source, we can

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draw from his energy, we can draw from his spirit, and we can be refreshed.

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We can be restored, we can be renewed.

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I will say that our bodies are the temple of the Lord.

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And so if we're gonna house the temple of the Lord, we're gonna house Holy Spirit.

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We have to be mindful how we shepherd, how we steward, our bodies.

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And so I would just invite you to become aware, to let go of the shame and the

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guilt, of whatever you may be feeling.

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And to really allow God who is already in control, To take the lead and

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orchestrate your life, your plan, it's already been planned out and

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you're simply just walking the path.

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And so just rest in that, that God has you.

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And that he has, you on his heart and he's put people in place, such

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as myself, to help you along this journey, to be kind to yourself.

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Thank you, Benita.

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I appreciate that.

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Benita Williams, the self-care surgeon, this has been a great conversation and

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it's kind of hit upon a theme here at Seat

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create

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we've had for a number of episodes.

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And I might even start including the links to kind of, you almost do a

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masterclass in some of these topics.

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So, make sure you go check out Benita, go to her website, take a

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look at all that she's done, and, I know it'll be a blessing to you.

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We're seek go create here.

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We've got new episodes every Monday.

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We, so appreciate everyone who has been putting all the comments over on YouTube.

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We're growing there at a, at a fast rate podcast.

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All the things.

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We just appreciate all of you.

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we'll see everybody next week on Seat.

Speaker: 00:57:50

Go create.